Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband contribute more to our finances?

michaels

1) I think claiming and paying back child benefit triggers state pension entitlement so not claiming might well be a mistake.

2) Those who split the bills 50/50 or in proportion to income do you also split the chores equally (perhaps based on some idea of their value) or else make a payment for any imbalance in chores done - for example 30 mins per day washing up - probably national minimum wage £3.75, 8 hours per day childcare for 2 kids probably the cost of a nanny so 50k pa etc?

3) Once married any separation of monies will be entirely disregarded on divorce where within reason assets are split 50/50.

happyinflorida

What's your husband doing with all his extra income then? Seems grossly unfair that he earns 3 times your salary and now even more as you've had a baby and are earning even less.

No way should you be paying 50% of the bills.

Personally I would never have married this man as his way with money is not good, IMO, so you should have sorted this all out before living together and getting married and especially before having a child with him.

Now you are left with a low income and a skinflint and the extra burden of a baby which is enough to destroy any good marriage, let alone a bad one!! lol

You need to sit down and have a serious talk about this, when the baby is asleep so you can talk without interruption.

It is not fair that he's got such a high income and is not paying much towards bills.

It's even more concerning that he's wanting his tax to come out of joint income, especially in view of the fact you've had a baby and have little income now.

Are you paying for the babies things?

What contribution is he making apart from 50%?

I'd charge him for childcare if this is his attitude!

Good luck, sounds like you'll need tons of it!

tgroom57

We recently had a baby, so my earnings dropped significantly.

Did your husband's earnings drop by the same percentage? Or at all, even?
The Child Benefit is for you and the children, and he should man up and relieve you of paying the (household) bills. I wonder if your reduced salary plus Child Benefit is equal to what you were earning before. At the very least, any drop in your income should come off what you pay into the joint account- so if your income is £50 lower after the birth then you pay £50 less into the joint account.
And- if you're paying the Child Benefit into an account and then handing it back to HMRC then you can't really include the Child Benefit as part of your income in the above calculation of what to pay into the joint account.

"Fair" is not the same as "equal".

Congratulations on your new arrival.

LaurelOakwood

When my husband & I first moved in together we worked out our costs based on our different wages & he paid more because he earned more.
Now we're married & homeowners we just have "our money".
We have kept separate accounts because it makes it easier to buy presents & not give away the surprise before the occasion, but apart from that we're equally committed to us & all our money is ours.

I would suggest you both need to have a good long think about what a marriage means to you both & discuss your thoughts without judgement. Now you have a child to consider it might be time to put aside your individual claims on your joint funds...

sean1875

What about if the wife constantly spends beyond her means on rubbish she doesn't and we don't need? Whenever there's any kind of sale or discount on. Racking up hundreds on store cards and credit cards etc.

We split house bills 50/50, but my income is probably around double/triple what hers is. I think this is the best way for us as it means all the responsibility for saving money towards a house falls to me and I'm also extremely tight with outgoings which helps!

mailmannz

Things have worked out that I pay all the house bills (mortgage, power, insurances etc) and the wife covers the day to day costs (food and so on).

Works for us. We've never had a joint account though.

Regards

Mailman

minicooper272

At the moment, my partner and I pay 50/50 into a joint account for bills & mortgage, although he earns about 20% more than I do. It’s absolutely fine for us at the moment – he spends more than I do, so it also protects my money. If we had a kid though, and my income went down as yours has, I would review it and arrange something more proportional (base on a proportion of free income after you’ve deducted commuting costs & other essentials). Make sure when you go for something proportional, that you still allow yourself some money to enjoy yourself with.

I understand why people want to keep finances untangled, but kids change everything. If you were to split, he’d be forced to top up your income through child support payments, and I don’t see why you should be worse off while in the relationship.

minicooper272

74jax wrote: »

This isn't actually a person asking for their own benefit, it's an mse made up question. Waste of time. Better off helping those who have posted actual queries.

I actually sent a money moral dilemma to the MSE team, and it was published the following week word for word. They are real questions asked by real people, but I do love the fact that someone takes time every single week to complain about what a waste of time they are!

blitzboy

As with many others above, we have a joint account and everything goes in and out of that. We're quite controlled with our spending but if either of us want to buy something for more than a trivial amount we just discuss it and almost always agree.


If you're married, or living as though you're married, then everything belongs to both of you as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't want it any other way just because I earn more.

Pollycat

hairyone wrote: »

AS A MARRIED COUPLE HE SHOULD PAY THE BILLS NO ARGUEING ::mad:

ViolaLass wrote: »

The door for previous centuries is over there.

As is the door for internet 'shouting' i.e. posting in all capitals - regardless of how :mad: you are.