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A Simpler Life 2018

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  • dolly84
    dolly84 Posts: 5,851 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    VJsmum wrote: »
    I use oil to remove make up - it tends to be almond oil but I am not that fussy. Just a small dab (maybe 1p sized) on my hands - rub all over my face, paying attention to mascara'd eyes. Then wipe off with a hot flannel, using a clean flannel every day. In the morning i just use a hot flannel. I am not fussy about which moisturiser (though there are some I don't like), but always something - tinted in the winter to give my face a bit of ooomph.

    I have thick curly hair - the thickest hair any hairdresser has ever seen EVER.....

    i wash it every 4 to 5 days, which shocks a lot of people, mainly that i can stand it for that long without washing it but also that you don't notice that it hasn't been washed in ever so long. It takes so blimmin long to wash and rinse that i can't stand doing it more frequently than that. i tend to let it dry naturally and then straighten it. if i left it in a pony tail wet, i think it would grow mould before it dried... :eek:

    I honestly think that my biggest achievement every day is getting showered / washed and dressed. i find it such a chore. Yet, if i don't wash my hair, it only takes 20 minutes. The make-up takes 2 minutes so that isn't the choriest bit... Actually my biggest achievement is getting out of the shower, when my instinct is to stay there till spring...:rotfl:

    Embrace the curls.
    We have no hot water or heating until next Wednesday at the earliest, thank goodness we have the wood stove which heated us kettles yesterday and kept us warm and washed! This morning I wanted my usual shower but couldn't have it so I had a bowl bath instead and 1 kettle full of water gave me the equivalent of a good shower as I used a washing up bowl and stood in the bath, I am now clean and warm and happy!

    We've been without heating here too courtesy of the gas network people, we have a stove but I won't light it as the chimney needs sweeping.
    Later this afternoon I am being forced to simplify my pantry.

    I knocked a bag of flour from a high shelf and, of course, it hit every shelf on the way down and exploded on the floor. I rationalised that it was probably time for the pantry to be cleaned and arranged anyway.

    That was until I saw the mouse poo everywhere while moving things around. Mr Mouse (and probably Mrs and their children) have happily eaten their way through over a kilo of lentils from a 2kg bag.

    I may have to think about decanting any food that has a packet which can be nibbled through into sealed jars and containers.

    My MIL is due back from her Christmas holiday next week and will throw a fit if she finds its been in her cereal.

    Oh no.
    Debt Free and now a saver, conscious consumer, low waste lifestyler


    Fashion on the Ration 28/66
  • dolly84
    dolly84 Posts: 5,851 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    fuddle wrote: »
    Ouch at the mouse family. Ouch at the forced clean. :( I'm decanting into glass jars too. My reasons are more about plastic next to food but you've definitely gave me food for thought.

    Your flour spillage reminds me of 'reorder flour Alexa' adverts on TV. In theory the devices that Amazon and Google offer for organising should make life so simple but to me, they're a step too far into giving up independence. I'm well aware I'm coming across as being a stuffy auld fuddy duddy not accepting change but I just feel like shaking the earth and shout 'keeping doing, keep being, you're losing it!'

    When I see those adverts it makes me think that people like imagining they have a servant.
    Debt Free and now a saver, conscious consumer, low waste lifestyler


    Fashion on the Ration 28/66
  • VJsmum
    VJsmum Posts: 6,999 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Isn't it a wonderful and very good thing that we are each and every one of us different? it's what makes the richness of experience and ideas on a thread like this, it's what makes tossing ideas into the melting pot so useful and we all learn new things, see other perspectives and sometimes find better ways than those we've been using all our lives. Thank goodness for the diversity of people thank goodness for the breadth of experience and thank heavens for open minds to allow new ways and tricks to become part of our lives!

    Absolutely, Mrs LW
    dolly84 wrote: »
    Embrace the curls.

    Oh, I wish I could - but, sadly they don't go all lovely and curly but frizz out due to the thickness. They sit better in the summer when they dry quickly
    I wanna be in the room where it happens
  • jackyann
    jackyann Posts: 3,433 Forumite
    Cottage Economy: I too felt concerned for you. What i'm unsure of is how you and DH get on, as you said that he seems to be interrupting to ask basic things. Is it because he can't cope well, or is it because the dynamics of the household have shifted?

    Sometimes what happens in a busy household is that the person 'in charge' thinks 'oh, it's more bother to ask / show what to do than just do it myself'. But, as in bringing up children, you have to go the extra yard in order to make it work long term.

    So I broadly agree with Primrose. Have a good talk with your OH, and if some of your small holding tasks are getting too much, look at how to offload them. Animals are always a worry - if you let the veg garden go one year, it's a shame; but you have a responsibility to animals.
    I also agree with having a talk with your m-i-l about what she can do to help. She may be unable to cope with much, but she may be scared to ask - if her personality is timid and she can see you are stressed, she will be fearful of 'getting it wrong'.

    I wrote much earlier in this thread that we must remember ' we can only do today what we can do today'. If we take on too much, push too hard, we end up worse than if we had done nothing. So be kind to yourself, DH and m-i-l and work out between you all how you can run the household and small holding. Good luck.
  • fuddle wrote: »
    Ouch at the mouse family. Ouch at the forced clean. :( I'm decanting into glass jars too. My reasons are more about plastic next to food but you've definitely gave me food for thought.

    Your flour spillage reminds me of 'reorder flour Alexa' adverts on TV. In theory the devices that Amazon and Google offer for organising should make life so simple but to me, they're a step too far into giving up independence. I'm well aware I'm coming across as being a stuffy auld fuddy duddy not accepting change but I just feel like shaking the earth and shout 'keeping doing, keep being, you're losing it!'

    I've been keeping most dried foods in glass jars for some time - and that is an added incentive. I do keep my eyes open for suitable ones I've bought food in and, back in the days when I drank instant coffee and it came in rather large jars, I certainly kept some of them. But I have been buying others since.

    As for Alexa and the like - I'm not even remotely tempted. I know a far-off friend has one of them and if ever he comes visiting here - then he can put the blimmin' thing in the car and leave it there. I'm not giving it house room - after all the stuff I've read about these devices "listening" even when they're not supposed to.
  • maddiemay
    maddiemay Posts: 5,101 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    After over 8 years with short white at the front grey at the back hair I had a cool pink dye put on at the hairdresser when it was on special offer last week. It’s lovely but fading fast. I’ll continue to experiment at home as I love it and it has brightened up a very dull January. Any recommendations as to brand anyone?

    I have had this done at the hairdresser quite a few time, often having 2 complimentary colours put in as highlights, I got so many compliments, but it was only semi-permanent so didn't last for very long. The advantage with highlights as opposed to blocks of colour is that it always looked great even when the colours were quite pale.

    In between times I used hair mascara from e-bay, they wash out, but do give a lift. I have sensitive skin so never dared to dye my hair myself:eek: so have not investigated what is available
    The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. (Abraham Lincoln)
  • Katieowl
    Katieowl Posts: 185 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Manic panic is the colour brand I normally use, mines green at the moment :D But last time I did a multicolour mix I had a bottle of Stargazer in bright pink that stuck like mad, rather too mad, as it was very very bright....might be worth a go!

    BTW noticed that B&M have the micellar water today!
  • Bluegreen143
    Bluegreen143 Posts: 3,703 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I have absolutely no interest in Alexa and the likes. I’ve read a couple of sad articles about children learning to say “Alexa” before “Mum”; and also about the impact them growing up interacting with this “non-person” on a daily basis, where you can order them about and not be polite. I don’t want my child asking Alexa for homework help instead of a) solving his own problems or b) asking me. I also hear of people proudly proclaiming Alexa frees up their time as she can play nursery rhymes etc to entertain children. Each to their own, but I don’t want my child to remember that I outsourced the nursery rhymes to a computer.

    Can’t wait to get to the charity shop tomorrow to drop off my donations - the place is looking great already :) loving applying the Marie Kondo philosophy to everything and only keeping that which brings us joy.
    Part time working mum | Married in 2014 | DS born 2015 & DD born 2018

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6542225/stopping-the-backsliding-a-family-of-four-no-longer-living-beyond-their-means/p1?new=1

    Consumer debt free!
    Mortgage: -£128,033

    Savings: £6,050
    - Emergency fund £1,515
    - New kitchen £556
    - December £420
    - Holiday £3,427
    - Bills £132

    Total joint pension savings: £55,425
  • Cottage_Economy
    Cottage_Economy Posts: 1,227 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 18 January 2018 at 9:17PM
    Primrose wrote: »
    By allowing your m.i.l to lurk in her room I think without realising it, you’re actually condoning her behaviour to let you do everything.

    She lurks of her own accord and often won't come out as she is reading/doing the crossword, watching Escape to the Country or her back/hip hurts and is resting. She has very little energy and complains if she has done too much. She has a generalised anxiety disorder which she refuses to have treated, which means she does the same things at the same time every day or gets agitated and upset. She’s not good with spontaneous. She does talk to a few people on the phone every day though so she is interacting with others.
    Primrose wrote: »
    …make a list of simple things she can do to help, ironing? Dusting? Washing up....putting newspapers in recycling bin .....anything which will keep her active. People rot away in care homes because there is nothing to keep their brains stimulated. Keeping busy is actually good for elderly people.

    I think she stays pretty active mentally. I have asked her in the past to do chores and she either says that she can't do it or she does it but does half a job i.e. half ironed clothes, some things dusted not others, because she is too tired to do more. She also can't bend down. Saying that, she always clears up after dinner, and hoovers up bits downstairs if she sees it needs doing. I believe the stress of moving has pushed her past a point of no return, though. She is frail now - she wasn't 18 months ago.
    Primrose wrote: »
    And please sit down with your husband and have a serious discussion with him about an equal share of duties before you find yourself sitting down in your GP’s surgery I floods of tears because you’re on the edge of a breakdown. It’s HiS mother. He needs to take more responsibility for her. He’s damned lucky you agreed to take her in. For many wives this would have been a step too far!

    We have talked, many times. His mother did everything for him growing up and infantilises him but I have lost my temper on a couple of occasions with her over her dreadful 1950s misogynistic views. She says as a woman I am able to cope with tiredness better than a man that has been at work all day. I am now done with talking and taking action, slowly stepping back on chores, looking past things and letting them both fill the gaps, and DH is slowly expanding his chores repertoire. I also refuse to help her do things (such as ordering things she wants or taking her to GP appointments) that I know he can help her with.
    jackyann wrote: »
    Cottage Economy: I too felt concerned for you. What i'm unsure of is how you and DH get on, as you said that he seems to be interrupting to ask basic things. Is it because he can't cope well, or is it because the dynamics of the household have shifted?
    We get on very well and have a good laugh. He doesn’t cope well at all, only able to do things one way and is very slow when he does do them. He does some chores without asking, but he really doesn’t get how much is done in a house. My standards are higher than his, so some of the jobs I do may not necessarily be important in the greater scheme of things, something that I will be changing by decluttering and simplifying things this year.
    jackyann wrote: »
    …and if some of your small holding tasks are getting too much, look at how to offload them. Animals are always a worry - if you let the veg garden go one year, it's a shame; but you have a responsibility to animals.
    The animals always come first, and the veg usually too as I like to feed them some treats from that. The things that fall by the wayside are things like the hedges, which we must maintain around the perimeter, and the garden. MIL says she will do lots but she deadheads roses and that’s about it. I’m going to get someone in shortly to do the hedges when DH goes away for a few days shortly, as I’m fed up with him saying he’s going to do it and doesn’t. I did the whole perimeter in 2016, and it was his turn last year, but of course he was too tired to do it.

    The reality is, when we all discussed her living with us she promised us she would be a lot of help with the house/animals, maintain her independence, do many social things in the community, allow us to go away for weekends and we’d do lots of fun things. Many of the things she was already doing. The opposite has happened.

    Please don’t worry! I have drawn my line in the sand about many things, including caring/nursing for her, and there is some more I want to discuss with them this month. She’s only been here a few months so not long enough yet to get entrenched and there’s time to change things in some ways, but her frailty will always be an issue. Failing that, I will start working back at the office every day if things don’t improve.
  • Sorry for the essay!!
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