A Simpler Life 2018

jackieblack

jackieblack wrote: »

My life has become much simpler over the past 3 years, after getting divorced and then a few months ago my daughter and her husband-to-be moving into their first home together, so now it is just me and my 2 grandkittens (daughter is renting and can't have them).

However, I now find myself living alone in a 3 bedroom house but have boxes and boxes and boxes of 'stuff' cluttering up both 'spare' bedrooms and garage as well as my own bedroom, so this is one area of my life which needs to simplified further!
Ex-H and daughter only took the things they wanted when they moved out and left everything else for me to sort out! Actually, to be fair, some stuff of daughter's is here because it's stuff she wants to keep but has no room for in their little rental home and there is still stuff of ex-h's here because it has taken him a while to get settled but which I have told him I want gone by the end of Jan (which will be 3 years since he left, so I don't think that's unreasonable)

So after several texts to/from ex-h it seems he's "very busy at the moment" (:cool:) and despite agreeing at the beginning of December that he'd remove the rest of his stuff from his old workshop by the end of January, it's obviously not going to happen :mad:

I have plans for half-term week to clear out the 15 years of accumulated sawdust, cobwebs and abandoned bits of wood, and reclaim the space for my own use (mainly storage). I have bought a couple of metal shelving units and should be able to store a good number of boxes currently cluttering up my smallest bedroom and my daughter's old bedroom (which needs to be cleared so I can redecorate it in the summer) in this space which is drier and more secure than the garage.
None of this can happen while ex-h's stuff is still in the workshop

So, loathed as I am to waste a precious day of my weekend because he can't keep to an agreement, I've spent the morning sorting and boxing up his stuff, and this afternoon will be moving it all into the garage where a) it won't be in the way/prevent me from getting on with sorting out the workshop and b) will make it simpler when he does get around to collecting as I won't necessarily need to be home.

So, on balance, although some of it is quite heavy and I'm feeling a bit 'cream-crackered' now, it has probably been a worthwhile use of my time

LameWolf

Just popping my head round the door to wish CE's poor kitty-cat a very speedy recovery. Healing vibes being sent.

jackyann

Cottage - in the concern about your poor cat, it was easy to miss something that seems odd to me: your DH & his mum buying 2 portions of the foodstuffs on your list.
Have you asked them about it? I'm not certain what they actually did. If it was basic foodstuff, do they know how you usually weigh up for portions? There seems to me to be a difference between picking up 2 labelled portions of something for 3 people, or thinking '3 small appetites, 200g mince is plenty' (after all, this is the board where we stretch that even further!)
I completely agree with your earlier posts that you need to hand over more responsibility and be very clear about it.

Good for you for making what sounds like a good start on all the other stuff.

Pooky

Cottage, poor moggy. I can sympathise as 3 years ago this week one of mine broke his leg badly and ended up with amputation. We opted to not use the collar and he was great at keeping the wound and stitches clean and didn’t nibble at them. He’s far faster on three legs than he was on 4 and can corner like a demon now.

SimpleLiving

jackieblack wrote: »

So after several texts to/from ex-h it seems he's "very busy at the moment" (:cool:) and despite agreeing at the beginning of December that he'd remove the rest of his stuff from his old workshop by the end of January, it's obviously not going to happen :mad:

I have plans for half-term week to clear out the 15 years of accumulated sawdust, cobwebs and abandoned bits of wood, and reclaim the space for my own use (mainly storage). I have bought a couple of metal shelving units and should be able to store a good number of boxes currently cluttering up my smallest bedroom and my daughter's old bedroom (which needs to be cleared so I can redecorate it in the summer) in this space which is drier and more secure than the garage.
None of this can happen while ex-h's stuff is still in the workshop

So, loathed as I am to waste a precious day of my weekend because he can't keep to an agreement, I've spent the morning sorting and boxing up his stuff, and this afternoon will be moving it all into the garage where a) it won't be in the way/prevent me from getting on with sorting out the workshop and b) will make it simpler when he does get around to collecting as I won't necessarily need to be home.

So, on balance, although some of it is quite heavy and I'm feeling a bit 'cream-crackered' now, it has probably been a worthwhile use of my time

I am afraid I would say "collect today or it goes on freegle/ebay/out for trash collection tomorrow" end of

jackieblack

SimpleLiving wrote: »

I am afraid I would say "collect today or it goes on freegle/ebay/out for trash collection tomorrow" end of

So far we have managed to keep everything amicable between us. (Although it hasn't always been easy.)
With our daughter's wedding in less than 11 weeks, now would not be a good time to fall out.

He has said he can collect on his day off during half term week, I just needed it out of my way before then.

SimpleLiving

jackieblack wrote: »

So far we have managed to keep everything amicable between us. (Although it hasn't always been easy.)
With our daughter's wedding in less than 11 weeks, now would not be a good time to fall out.

He has said he can collect on his day off during half term week, I just needed it out of my way before then.

Understood. Must be tricky. It just rang a bell with me.
My sister has piles of stuff at my mums. She says "I'll collect it soon/at the weekend/tomorrow"....... And years later it is still there:(

dolly84

Had another good clear out of stuff yesterday. I now have two large bags in the hallway to drop off at the charity shop and a big bag of books to donate to the library. I am sort of doing something called Swedish Death Cleaning, there are so many things that we are just storing and will eventually pass to the kids and they will store them but what is the point really?

Not filling the gaps that are appearing is really key, I am doing really well with it at the moment but sometimes find it hard as I mainly shop in charity shops and you know if you don't buy it then the chances of getting it later/finding another are harder than regular high street stuff. I just need to give myself time to learn that I don't need mountains of stuff.

Cottage_Economy

Thanks for all the lovely wishes and healing words for for my star mouser.

He is very alert, chatty and looking for means of escape. Have put the TV on but Judge Rinder is not cutting it. I'm dreading taking him for his first post-op vet appt this afternoon. He's already starting trying to fight us taking the antibiotics and pain meds, heaven knows what will happen when he has to go in the cat carrier.

jackyann wrote: »

Cottage - in the concern about your poor cat, it was easy to miss something that seems odd to me: your DH & his mum buying 2 portions of the foodstuffs on your list.
Have you asked them about it? I'm not certain what they actually did. If it was basic foodstuff, do they know how you usually weigh up for portions? There seems to me to be a difference between picking up 2 labelled portions of something for 3 people, or thinking '3 small appetites, 200g mince is plenty' (after all, this is the board where we stretch that even further!)

Some of the food I can understand they may have thought would be sufficient, but some of it was clearly for two people only. Think two fish fillets in sauce, two minted chops, things we've all eaten before and had one of each so I've bought two packs and frozen the fourth item.

They said they had a discussion about how much to buy and decided on two portions of everything per pack as they were not sure 'what I would want to eat'. I cook the same meal for all of us 90% of the time. Around 5% of the time MIL does something herself and the remaining 5% I don't eat as I may have eaten out or just not be hungry.

Only MIL has a small appetite (think half a chicken breast, not a whole one). DH does a manual job so is very hungry (extra carbs) and I'm a bit behind him (more protein than carbs).

I'm not giving up. I'm doing the list again next week for them. And the week after, and the week after. There's no reason why two people can't buy the basics of a weekly shop together. And now they know that if something comes in a two potion pack, buy two packs!

GreyQueen

I'm smiling wryly at the memory of a Christmas in the 1980s when our old childhood cot (covered with chicken wire and with the odd bauble hanging off it for show) was in the sitting room crating a broken-legged cat.

She was a little darling and a little beggar, managed to get the busted hind leg out of the plastercast and had to have a surgery to get it pinned. She hated not being cuddled all the time, would whinge to be picked up, we'd have her out and have to put her back in the cot when she wanted to jump and run around.

I often thought that, should anyone have glanced through the window and seen the cot like that, that they'd've been left with a terrible impression of our parenting skills........ :rotfl:

Fond wishes for your kitty's recovery and give it a stroke from me.