42 and Pregnant - the grim statistics

sulphate

Congratulations! Your gf will probably be deemed "higher risk" due to her age - nothing to worry about, it's just a term that is used for consultant led care when they monitor more closely. I always think that women with high risk pregnancies get better care because in my experience, as a woman with low risk pregnancies I get forgotten about and the assumption is that everything will be ok.

My second pregnancy ended in miscarriage early this year when I was 29, and my mum, who gave birth to me when she was 42, never had any miscarriages.

ViolaLass

NoNoDrama wrote: »

Being a woman, is she likely to be aware the rate is that high?

We women are not born knowing any more about bearing children than men and we have access to the same Google as you.

Your age is relevant too, by the way. https://expectingscience.com/2015/08/26/lies-damned-lies-and-miscarriage-statistics/#mansage

Baby_Angel

Congratulations. I wanted write to you about how my pregnancies went but never mind that. Worry about anything when and if it ever becomes an issue. I was more than 10 years younger than your girlfriend and had issues. I had a colleague who was 43 and diabetic and other than the baby being a few weeks early, they are both doing fantastic now. It was her first.

Keep calm and enjoy.

NoNoDrama

Thank you for words of support. I feel better and more positive.

[Deleted User]

I was going to recommend the excellent expecting science, there are some stats on there. Try also https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer.php

The risks really do go down very sharply week by week, at every age (though always somewhat higher for older parents).

Good luck, and hope your gf has a lovely pregnancy.

meer53

I got pregnant at 42, had my daughter when i was 43. (second baby) I had huge support from my midwife and the maternity unit at my local hospital Any pregnancy at this age is classed as high risk. I have issues with antibodies in my blood so i had weekly scans, ultrasound and doppler, i also opted for a Chorionic Villus test as my risk of Downs was 1 in 17, so very high. Due to my blood issues i also had 4 amnioscentesis tests and was due for another the week i gave birth (5 weeks early)

Despite all this, i had a perfect baby girl, although she was small, just 3lbs. She's nearly 18 now.

It was a really worrying time, no matter who tells you everything will be fine, you still worry. It's natural to worry. Without the help of my midwife, consultant and the fabulous NHS staff, i would have been a wreck. It must be even harder if it's your first baby too.

OP, just be there for your girlfriend, go with her to appointments, it's easy to forget whats been said, two pairs of ears helps ! Don't listen to all the horror stories, there are many many happy outcomes for women giving birth later in life, take each day as it comes, if either of you are worried about anything, ask your midwife/doctor.consultant, don't feel as though you're wasting their time.

Good luck

Comms69

olgadapolga wrote: »

I'm a midwife and had my last baby at the age of 44.

As a midwife, I tried my utmost to be positive. I doubt very much that your midwife will be all doom and gloom.

When I was pregnant with my last, my midwife wasn't negative initially until she found out I was planning a homebirth (I'd had two of my other children at home). Then, and only then did she start on about risks to do with my age. She didn't know that I was a midwife though and when I started quoting stats right back at her, she shut up. She was a terrible midwife, completely useless and I did have to make a massive complaint about her AND get her changed.

I would say, that if your girlfriend doesn't like her midwife then she is at liberty to change to another one (she can register temporarily at another GP practice for maternity care if need be).

I think that you need to put into perspective that the risk of miscarriage in any pregnancy isn't exactly low before you start worrying unduly about the stats you found out.

Wait to see what the midwife says. She'll arrange the dating scan and initial blood tests, possibly suggest additional testing and recommend a referral to the obstetric consultant for review (yes, because of her age, unfortunately). You don't need to accept any/all of her recommendations as long as you understand the risk factors. Note I said risk factors, just because there is a risk, it doesn't mean to say that it's going to happen

My only other bit of advice would be: Dr/Midwife Google IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. There's a lot of anecdotal stuff on the internet, and much of it is negative. None of it may apply to your particular set of circumstances. Leave Google alone, it'll make you paranoid

Are you able to attend the visit to the midwife with your girlfriend? The first visit is usually quite long, with lots of information overload but it may help put your mind at ease.

Oh, and congratulations!

On what basis. Yes YOU are a midwife, and as you know (or should know) you can choose your treatment / birth regardless.


You can make an informed decision.


Many other women cant. They may well prefer to understand the risks, and decide that a home birth really isn't for them.


But instead of accepting the genuine risks associated, you complained about another professional giving accurate information.


Shocking.

chelseablue

My cousin had her second baby when she was 42, he's going to be 8 on Sunday

She had her first when she was 27, so quite a gap. But had no problems at all in either pregnancy

AlwaysWorking

I'm due to start IVF on Tuesday. I'll be 40 in January. I genuinely didn't realise the risk of miscarriage was that high... I mean I knew my age meant the risk would be higher, but not THAT high. So a 28% chance of IVF working and then a 33% chance of miscarriage. I'm devastated.

Good luck OP, I hope everything goes well for you.

GreenQueen

something else you have to remember is that the statistics will be skewed by women who have difficulty carrying a pregnancy to term and are more statistically likely to miscarry, irrespective of their age. There are also other risk factors which increase the risk in specific groups of women. Age is only one of the factors, and it is quite complex to predict the risk for any individual.