42 and Pregnant - the grim statistics

NoNoDrama

My G/F is 42 and pregnant.

I've researched the miscarriage rate and it's shockingly high (45-50%!)

She's still early at 8 weeks.

She will see midwife next week - will the midwife tell her the strong likely hood of something going wrong or just post a positive outlook?

I'm delighted she is pregnant and naturally so is she (first time !) but I can't ignore the statistics so I'm holding myself back a little.

I'm obviously not conveying this onto her but it's the back of my mind all the time.

Being a woman, is she likely to be aware the rate is that high? I know there will always be a risk but does the risk ease after so many weeks the same as a younger woman?

Thanks.

Tigsteroonie

Your GF probably knows better than you what the risks are! If you want to help her stay calm and stress-free, remind her of the Tripadvisor effect - if she looks online, she'll only find the stories where older Mums had problems, and not the stories where the pregnancy was uneventful and the baby absolutely fine

The midwife will recommend appropriate tests and checks to ensure the best possible prognosis.

Congratulations :j :j

(Mum at 40)

kingfisherblue

Congratulations - I hope all goes well for you both. Although there are risks associated with older mums, the odds are still in your favour. For example, instead of thinking that the miscarriage rate is 45-50%, turn it around - the odds of a successful pregnancy are 50-55%.

NoNoDrama

Thank you Does the risk ease the further she goes? I read after 12 weeks for first time (younger) mother it decreases would the same apply in my g/f's case? I can't find stats for this.

LilElvis

If you need reassurance then you can pay privately for scans before the first NHS one at 12 weeks - they are only about £100. Getting an ultrasound monitor would let you hear the heartbeat before you can feel the baby kick.

I'm an older Mum (43 when I gave birth) and had several losses and IVF before we had our daughter so I was a bag of nerves - the early scans and being able to hear her heartbeat are what kept me sane in the early months of the pregnancy.

Congratulations and good luck to you both!

LilElvis

NoNoDrama wrote: »

Thank you Does the risk ease the further she goes? I read after 12 weeks for first time (younger) mother it decreases would the same apply in my g/f's case? I can't find stats for this.

Yes, the majority of miscarriages happen very early in the pregnancy and your girlfriend will be closely monitored to ensure that baby is developing as expected. I had lots of extra scans as I was given consultant-led care.

olgadapolga

I'm a midwife and had my last baby at the age of 44.

As a midwife, I tried my utmost to be positive. I doubt very much that your midwife will be all doom and gloom.

When I was pregnant with my last, my midwife wasn't negative initially until she found out I was planning a homebirth (I'd had two of my other children at home). Then, and only then did she start on about risks to do with my age. She didn't know that I was a midwife though and when I started quoting stats right back at her, she shut up. She was a terrible midwife, completely useless and I did have to make a massive complaint about her AND get her changed.

I would say, that if your girlfriend doesn't like her midwife then she is at liberty to change to another one (she can register temporarily at another GP practice for maternity care if need be).

I think that you need to put into perspective that the risk of miscarriage in any pregnancy isn't exactly low before you start worrying unduly about the stats you found out.

Wait to see what the midwife says. She'll arrange the dating scan and initial blood tests, possibly suggest additional testing and recommend a referral to the obstetric consultant for review (yes, because of her age, unfortunately). You don't need to accept any/all of her recommendations as long as you understand the risk factors. Note I said risk factors, just because there is a risk, it doesn't mean to say that it's going to happen

My only other bit of advice would be: Dr/Midwife Google IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. There's a lot of anecdotal stuff on the internet, and much of it is negative. None of it may apply to your particular set of circumstances. Leave Google alone, it'll make you paranoid

Are you able to attend the visit to the midwife with your girlfriend? The first visit is usually quite long, with lots of information overload but it may help put your mind at ease.

Oh, and congratulations!

BorisThomson

LilElvis wrote: »

If you need reassurance then you can pay privately for scans before the first NHS one at 12 weeks - they are only about £100. Getting an ultrasound monitor would let you hear the heartbeat before you can feel the baby kick.

I'm an older Mum (43 when I gave birth) and had several losses and IVF before we had our daughter so I was a bag of nerves - the early scans and being able to hear her heartbeat are what kept me sane in the early months of the pregnancy.

Congratulations and good luck to you both!

Dopplers can give false results when used by an untrained person. Stillbirth and miscarriage charities would like to see consumer sales of them banned.

Congratulations OP. I trust you're no longer concerned about her activities with her gym friends?

pinkshoes

In any pregnancy, a week further on is a lower chance of miscarriage.

She just needs to take it day by day, although if you can afford a private scan then I would recommend it, as it certainly puts your mind at ease in a high risk pregnancy.

barbiedoll

BorisThomson wrote: »

Dopplers can give false results when used by an untrained person. Stillbirth and miscarriage charities would like to see consumer sales of them banned.

^^^^This. A Doppler machine can give a false sense of security, just because a baby has a heartbeat, doesn't mean that all is well. An untrained person may not be able to tell the difference between mum's heartbeat and the baby's. And our antenatal day unit has seen a marked increase in worried parents who have rushed up to the hospital because they can't find the heartbeat (for reasons including, flat batteries in the sonicaid, the baby moving to a different position, and simply not knowing where to listen)

Lots of women have babies at 42 and older, just as they always have. The NHS has robust systems in place to care for "older" mums, and your GF will have extra appointments, scans and possibly other tests (e.g. diabetes screening) to ensure that all is well.

Rather than consulting Dr Google in the wee small hours, I suggest getting one or two decent, up-to-date books. And the website Start4life has lots of information on what to expect in the next few months.


Congratulations and good luck!

JayJay100

Quite a few of my friends and work colleagues had babies when they were over 40, and I don't remember any of them having any problems, other than they were monitored a little more closely. Even my cousin had her first baby when she was 42. and he's just turned 21 within the last few months. In general, I think people are fitter and healthier; 40 these days is nothing like 40 even when I was young.

Try to be positive and good luck!