LonelyRat's (not so lonely) Road to Riches

Silver_Queen

You are doing so INCREDIBLY well. I've said it before but I'll say it again, I feel like we are very similar in most aspects (money, weight, self confidence, mental health) and honestly the idea of joining and going to a gym gives me heart palpitations in terror. The last time I stepped foot in a gym not under duress from my sister was 8 years ago. I keep wanting to join but the concept of it is genuinely horrifying to me. I cannot even express how impressed I am with you considering the space you were in only a few months ago. You're smashing the daily step count too. Well done you!

You are doing so so well with money as well. You have only a little while left until you're free. Maybe the reason why you're worried is because the light is at the end of the tunnel? Sounds crazy and counterintuitive but I could see that happening with me. There's no need to worry though, even if you loosen your belt a bit there's a little room for leeway. Think about how you'll be able to start saving! I'm sure you will be able to continue to be disciplined.

Re: the jacket potato, it is quite a lot of calories but you absolutely need to fuel your body. It's reasonably healthy and I don't think it would be too terrible to have one for dinner. You don't want to deprive yourself and then cave. Slow and steady wins the race... same as with paying off debt!

lonelyrat

Aw Silver Queen thank you so much - you're always so lovely when I'm feeling down!

The gym was scary... And I'm likely going to feel scared again when I go tomorrow. I have to have confidence it will get better though! I think it's just getting used to where everything is. I wish they had a wee map online of where all the machines are then you could map out where you need to go. I felt silly wandering around in circles trying to find things and in my head I convinced myself everyone was staring and judging me. Logically I know that this wasn't the case, but it still felt that way! Once I've gone a few times I'm sure it will feel better. This is also why I want to go earlier, so hopefully there will be less people there!

The only reason I signed up to go was because my friend from work wanted to go together! I would never have had the confidence to do it myself.... And I'd been putting it off for about 6 months :rotfl: I kept agreeing that we could go but then never signing up - so she never signed up either. Bad work friend etiquette!

You could be right with the money thing I think... I've gotten quite used to restricting myself and planning almost every pound and will feel strange not having the constant kind of pressure of having debt. I think there's a part of me that's worried that once I've cleared it I won't have the motivation to save OR (even worse) I may fall into it again. I think I'll make myself a new spreadsheet for when I'm debt free and that should make me feel better and more in control - I just love a spreadsheet!

There's a takeaway that does the best jacket potatoes and that was where I was wanting to get one from.. What I think I may do though is get some cheese and a potato and DIY it. That way I can control the calories etc. but still indulge. If it doesn't hit the spot then I'll get one from them later in the week as a reward for thinking with my head rather than my stomach

Just going to pop on some suncream then head out on my walk. Need to walk to the next town to the big Tesco to return a sports bra that I got yesterday. It's pretty crummy... No support whatsoever, I tried it on and jogged on the spot and almost knocked myself out with my boobs :rotfl: Don't know if I mentioned before but the strap pinged off one of my sports bras the other week so now i'm down to one. Not the end of the world because the weather is nice and I can do a hand wash and hang it out and have it dry quite quickly but if it gets rainy/ cold I want to have an extra one as a backup.

No other plans for today really. If the weather is nice I'll sit out in the garden for a bit... May even brave the pool!

doingitanyway

Hey Lonelyrat I followed you over from another thread. You are doing great on weight, an area I am consistently failing at. The one thing I've yet to try is a fitbit and doing 10,000 steps. You do an impressive number of steps. I'm impressed

lonelyrat

Hi doingitanyway I actually jumped over to your recent thread a few days ago.. I like the goals you've set yourself re: yourself/ the house. I think I definitely neglected self care for a long time so am trying to make up for it now. I am a bit short on time at the moment but will definitely have a more in depth look through your diary and get myself all caught up Also well done on being debt free!
Was in the gym for ten past 6 yesterday :eek: Managed to find the machines I wanted this time and wasn't as stressed as before as there were fewer people there. I did 10 minutes on the treadmill, worked my way around the weights I wanted, then finished with 40 mins on the treadmill. Friend from work arrived towards the end and did half an hour as well so I had some company at the end which was nice.

Am feeling sore and achey today but was worth it. I got into work at 8.15, ate breakfast at my desk and had done my 10,000 steps by 8.30.

Was feeling like I was going to have a really positive day but then got pulled off the phones and into a side room with a manager. Seems I've made a mistake with something and it's not good. I was completely blindsided and may have cried which is pathetic. Don't want to go into too much detail but I find out tomorrow what's going to happen. Either no action, coaching with my manager or a formal disciplinary hearing. Was hoping to find out yesterday before I left work so I could know if I need to worry or not but they didn't get back to me in time. My stomachs in knots and I'm feeling really upset about it, I can't seem to focus on anything else and I could barely sleep. I feel like I'm trying so hard to make positive changes but life always just ends up going wrong somehow.

I didn't drink last night, which is something to feel good about I guess.

If it does end up in a disciplinary hearing then it could result in my bonus being taken away for a year and any reference within 6 months would include it. I wouldn't mind losing the bonus but not being able to leave due to the reference is pretty awful - I feel trapped already.

Am going to look into contacting the Union today... I'm not a member but I'll see if I can join up. Just in case I do need a disciplinary hearing, because I get all tongue tied and can't articulate properly and would be nice to have someone with me. May be too late though but I will try.

Met old flatmate yesterday after work and went to the park as was gloriously sunny. Was tempted to cancel as I was feeling so rubbish but was nice to take my mind of it.

Just going to get the suncream on and go my walk and try not to think about work. I'm really not in the mood for being alone with my thoughts though. I just wish I could turn my brain off, but it's going a hundred miles an hour.

Will try and have a good day/ try not to think about it and check back in tomorrow.

onedaysomeday

Oh lonelyrat I hope it all works out okay for you! I'm terrible with things like that too it doesn't take a lot of stress in a formal situation like that to get me crying! Best to keep yourself as busy as possible so you don't get bogged down in thinking about it - there's nothing that extra worrying can do to change whatever will happen tomorrow so just keep yourself distracted maybe some very loud music in your ears whilst you're walking?

Well done on the gym! Enjoy your day whatever you end up doing xx

Silver_Queen

Oh no! Work trouble is always terrible.

If it makes you feel any better, I get into work trouble like that at least twice a month. I'll have made a mistake and identified the mistake, which could potentially be big trouble, and then I spend three or four nights worrying about it and struggling to sleep. I still have a job!

Sometimes problems can get blown out of proportion in your own head so it could be nothing. The best thing to do is wait and see. The most important thing is that you learn from it and don't make the same mistake again.

I absolutely agree that you should try to join the union. If it's too late for them to send a rep out, you can ask for one of your work colleagues to sit in and assist - it's your right. You might have to insist a bit but it's something I strongly recommend you put your foot down about if there's any resistance. Read through your company handbook as well to see what the policy is. Good luck.

Lucifa73

Sorry to hear about the work troubles. Silver Queen is spot on - check out policies and make sure you are supported. Your HR rep should be an independent presence if no other option is available.


On the plus side, everything else seems to be going well. You are smashing the step targets regularly, you're about 3 months away from debt free and you are looking after yourself. Don't let the stress at work undermine all those positives.


Good work on the gym. I love the gym but it just doesn't work with my schedule at the moment which is why I do Insanity. I would suggest you request an induction - they should offer one to all new members for free. There might be some things you aren't familiar with but would enjoy if you understood them IYSWIM? As you get confident upping resistance training would be a better use of your gym time, especially as you are doing so much walking any way...


Hope work gets better quickly! Lx

Silver_Queen

Hope everything went ok my dear!

onedaysomeday

Hope you are okay lonelyrat xxx

allthe7s

Hope your meeting went ok, I would be feeling exactly like you (including the crying)

Really hope the punishment wasn't too harsh x