My in laws are snobs...

LameWolf

Well, you'll be pleased to know I darned my glove. What has that to do with this thread?..... simply that it's £10 to a dog biscuit it would still be awaiting darning next spring if this thread hadn't been here (with the illustrious GQ's Designer Darned Sock). :rotfl:

PollyWollyDoodle

People usually mock something when they feel slightly threatened by it or don't understand it - perhaps she feels that your choices imply a criticism of her own lifestyle.

I've always found the best response to criticism is just to laugh at the critics; they are usually looking to provoke a response and then you can have a nice, pillow-swinging, he said-she-said row. Hard to do, but the next time she says something critical, try and just smile sweetly and say something like 'oh, you know me - not one to spend it if I can save it' or similar. It allows you to keep face without going into lengthy explanations, and it will annoy her like hell.

VfM4meplse

flippin36 wrote: »

#making my own wedding dress and having the reception in the village hall - we did our own catering

#accepting second hand baby clothes and pram/cot
Second hand is brilliant for kids, esp as they grow out of everything so quickly, much of the stuff you find is v good qualities and barely used. I have bought most of my neice’s wardrobe this way and she loves it. Yesterday I bathed and dressed her in the evening and she was a vision in second hand pink, and looked amazing.

#furnishing my house with second hand mismatch furniture
As long as it’s functional and stylish to you, it’s the right choice. My many bookcases for example are similarl in style and shade, but not quite the same as each other. Who wants boring furniture?

#using washable nappies/own brand disposables
If you’ve got the time and patience for washable, go for it! So much kninder to the environment.

#cutting each other's hair

#buying value/basic brand food (only a few items I think are ok)
Try adding YS to your trolley to really p*ss them off

#buying my daughter's christening dress from a supermarket (blue velvet dress)
Unreasonable when such things are to be found in charity shops!

#not having a tv
Your kids may be better off without it.

#I shop in charity shops/love freecycle
Come and join us on the chazzer thread

#running our old cars into the ground/sharing 1 car
I use my vehicle as sparingly as possible. I love the convenience but cabs would work out cheaper. I’ve been known to go car-free at times, and share my brother’s car when necessary as he only uses it once a week. However, it requires a journey to his place first, which is enough to make me think hard first

#Asking to just exchange cards for Christmas to keep cost down (he has a HUGE family where even extended family buy each gifts. We ended up just exchanging tins of biscuits which seemed silly)
Read MSE Martin’s thoughts in this if you need any validation.

GreyQueen wrote: »

Recently, I came across a comment on the t'interweb somewhere; You don't have to turn up for every argument you're invited to.

Brilliant quote, P’inned.

jackyann

A thought about the Xmas biscuits - I was, a long time ago, in a present-go-round that for many reasons it was difficult to step away from. This is what I did:

if you can be 8rs3d with young children, and a job, do home-made ones - actually not that difficult if you choose the right recipe, make a weekend afternoon of it, get the kids to help, pack up prettily. I do that anyway, but for people who appreciate it!

If not, then get Fair Trade ones. That way someone is benefiting, and you are keeping the moral high ground!

Mr_Singleton

flippin36 wrote: »

We are a professional couple with 2 children, we have a good income and live in a nice house in a nice street in a good catchment area. However, I have been raised to be frugal and I believe my frugality has given us a secure nest egg for the future and my children's future. We are not tightwads and when we have plenty of money saved up we will splurge on nice things like a luxury holiday or a new car etc.

Having read your post & subsequent replies it’s hard not to come to the conclusion that your the opposite ends of the same piece of string.

As I’ve said before when people use the word “frugal” 99.9% of the they actually mean mean.

“We are not tightwads” your opinion has been noted.

VfM4meplse

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

“We are not tightwads” your opinion has been noted.

I don’t think the OP is, her post suggests she’s sensible. Genuinely mean people are joyless.

jackyann wrote: »

if you can be 8rs3d with young children

I’m glad to see someone is getting on with IOS 11!

Pollycat

flippin36 wrote: »

Funny thing is...we went to Edinburgh over the summer and decided to splurge on first class train tickets. When he told her about it she scolded him for wasting money . She doesn't seem to understand that we can do these things because we save on day to day things.

I'd stop telling her anything that she can use as a stick to beat you with.
All you are doing is giving her ammunition to fire back at you.

flippin36 wrote: »

I think this is generally good advice, but we have had those conversations and nothing really changes. I don't think the relationship is broken as we are still friendly and in contact, it's just that she grinds me down and then I make myself feel guilty for not being good enough.

She has on several occasions attempted to shame me in front of other relatives. It gets weary after a while.

It's probably me but I couldn't remain in friendly contact with someone who made me feel like this.
And I wouldn't be happy with a husband who allowed his Mother to continue to do that.

But maybe you do it more for the children.....

flippin36

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

Having read your post & subsequent replies it’s hard not to come to the conclusion that your the opposite ends of the same piece of string.

As I’ve said before when people use the word “frugal” 99.9% of the they actually mean mean.

“We are not tightwads” your opinion has been noted.

Can someone please explain what this means? Too cryptic for my tired brain today.

maman

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

Having read your post & subsequent replies it’s hard not to come to the conclusion that your the opposite ends of the same piece of string.

As I’ve said before when people use the word “frugal” 99.9% of the they actually mean mean.

“We are not tightwads” your opinion has been noted.

flippin36 wrote: »

Can someone please explain what this means? Too cryptic for my tired brain today.

I took it to mean that you were as overtly frugal as they were snobbish.

jackyann

But I wouldn't worry about it - on boards like these, take what is useful,forget what in't.