buyers remorse - six months later

bobsaunders

I do not think i mentioned mental health.

I've mentioned about making a positive adjustment through applying yourself based on what is only 30 minutes in the car to access activities which are on your door step. I think you have placed barriers and excuses in the way when there literally is none beyond just climbing in a car with some positive mental can do attitude.

Even if it means contacting old friends or house mates, signing up for random activities, joining clubs etc. you should make the first move. There is various clubs for people that want to do random things like this and people new to different areas. (Social circle, meetup.com etc.)

Remember the positives on moving to where you did, and why, and how.

My response would be a very different answer if you didn't have a car.

I've been through a mild level of medically confirmed depression. Just about to climb in the car for 20 mins to go to rugby practice.

sofarbehind

MoneyEM wrote: »

I put the flat on the market in March 2017 and it's still on the market now with 1 offer of 10k less than I paid myself last year. I feel trapped and i'm desperate to sell up and move to a project house that needs refurbishment.

Worst decision I could have made. Had I have waited 1 year, or even 6 months, I might have been able to buy a little terraced house and i wouldn't be in this mess!

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I'm sending you an internet hug. (where is the emoticon?). Wishing you had done things differently is so easy to do and so unhelpful. For what it's worth you are not alone. We are where we are and I suppose and will have to deal with it.

I went to my GP today, they have signed me off work for a month and referred me for CBT. Do you think you might be depressed too? It's a difficult thing to admit to but it makes it very hard to function. I had a bereavement I am not coping with recently. Have you also had other things to cope with?

Thrugelmir

Life isn't easy. Many people go through difficult periods in their life. Personally I find walking long distances a good remedy at such times. Get involved with something local. We all only get one chance. Make the most of it. As my Grandmother always said to me as a child every morning. Smile and give thanks that we here today. For a woman that was born in poverty in London Docklands. Went to work in a laundary at 13. Survived 2 world wars. One could only marvel at her resolution. We are so lucky these days to enjoy what we have.

Candyapple

hazyjo wrote: »

There was a very similar thread recently but I can't find it Anyone remember it? Am sure they'd been there 6-12 months and he wanted to move but the missus was happy enough staying put. Mixed replies - might help you get it in perspective. There's also a longer 'buyers' remorse' thread somewhere which might help.

Was it this one?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5702165

LittleMax

sofarbehind wrote: »

I went to my GP today, they have signed me off work for a month and referred me for CBT. Do you think you might be depressed too? It's a difficult thing to admit to but it makes it very hard to function. I had a bereavement I am not coping with recently.

Sorry to hear this. But now you are signed off, are you going to bite the bullet and travel back and join in some of the activities that are 30 minutes away?

MoneyEM

:grouphug: I could only find this one for a hug which kinda freaks me out! But I appreciate the sentiment Hindsight is such a wonderful thing, when you are in the moment it's hard to imagine things could be different in a short time frame like 6 months!

When i moved in last August I loved it, i decorated and furnished it just how I wanted and everything was fine until it got very very cold and expensive to use the heating. That's what first made me want to put it up for sale.

Then in May 2017 without warning the quiet micropub renovated their disused garden and I am now severely affected by the noise of people chatting every single night in the garden and live music events that happen at the weekends and sometimes throughout the week too which is the source of 90% of my stress. The owner has said he will pay for 1 window to be double glazed but i am arguing that he cannot do half a job and fob me off!

On top of this I really dislike my job. I am so bored, I've had zero training and am not getting any job satisfaction or sense of achievement. Senior management is practically non-existent. Last year I suffered from(work-related) anxiety in which I took myself to hospital cause i felt i couldn't breathe. I moved to a new sub-team and it got better but I am still looking elsewhere. It's hard not to feel depressed but I have support from my family (very close to my mum) and my boyfriend so that keeps my spirits up. I just have to be patient, this place will sell eventually!

Sorry to hear about your bereavement, they are never easy to deal with. Glad you are getting some help for your depression. Things will get better for us! :beer:

Davesnave

MoneyEM wrote: »

I put the flat on the market in March 2017 and it's still on the market now with 1 offer of 10k less than I paid myself last year. I feel trapped and i'm desperate to sell up and move to a project house that needs refurbishment.

......Which might be another error if you are not the sort of person with the skills and patience to handle that sort of work.

I'm not saying that you aren't, but buying a do-er-upper because it's all you can afford, and then having to live with a degree of chaos, maybe for much longer than you've had your flat, isn't a recipe for avoiding depression, especially if you lack the wherewithal to move forward more quickly on it.

Been there, done that.

I would say to you and the OP that most of us go through periods when our living conditions aren't ideal. A year or two is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Whether it's a duff job or an annoying property choice, it will become a means to another end eventually.

moneyistooshorttomention

I can resonate with the idea that "it ain't all roses" buying a doer-upper. The one I now have has taken me 4 years. How long a place takes to do up will depend mainly on how much money one can throw at it. It will also depend, to some extent, on how reliable the workmen in your area are and if you are in an area where they arent very reliable = add in noticeably more time and patience to how long you reasonably estimate it will take.

Meanwhile you are living in chaos. Again - how much that affects you will depend on available resources in local area. If there's plenty of places you can eat out at/friends nearby you can visit/etc - that will help a lot.

So - if thinking of a doer-upper - get other peoples views that have done this in the same area. Find out how much roughly various things would cost - and then add some (because things always seem to cost more than you've bargained on). Find out what the local workmen are like (standard of work/reliability or otherwise/etc).

You'd need, preferably, to buy a doer-upper that was at least together enough you could "live in it" for a few months whilst you waited for better workmen to finish any customer list of people ahead of you in the queue. Voice of experience time there - because I moved into a doer-upper that was that bad that it wasnt just old-fashioned and tatty etc - it also barely functioned (central heating problems/electric problems/main sitting room fire problems/safety problems/a roof leak/neighbour problems). All those things have been sorted out now - but it is very wearing and time-consuming to deal with a place that is so bad it barely functions.

Crashy_Time

MoneyEM wrote: »

I did the exact same thing. I was a FTB and i was desperate to get on the market and own my own property. I started looking Jan 2016 and had offered on 4 houses but due to the second-home stamp duty increase due to come in in April, I had already lost out on these properties as they went for up to 20k above their asking prices. I eventually settled for a 1 bed flat in March 2016 and completed in July 2016.

since then i have had several issues including people fighting over parking (I have one space allocated, but neighbours use it as a space if there is not a car parked there), windows are single glazed so bills are extremely expensive in winter being electric-only. Also the micropub next door has recently renovated their overgrown garden and started playing live music which is making my life hell.

I put the flat on the market in March 2017 and it's still on the market now with 1 offer of 10k less than I paid myself last year. I feel trapped and i'm desperate to sell up and move to a project house that needs refurbishment.

Worst decision I could have made. Had I have waited 1 year, or even 6 months, I might have been able to buy a little terraced house and i wouldn't be in this mess!

Worth taking the 10k hit to get out IMO, but the "project house" just sounds like more stress to me.

hazyjo

Candyapple wrote: »

Was it this one?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5702165

Cheers - was the 2nd more vague one, but there was a similar one, although depression was involved but they deeply regretted moving and he wanted to move back. Ta :beer: