I think I'm in an abusive relationship + I'm terrified

iammumtoone

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

Yes of course you are right. I just find it hard to believe that some people are so docile and put themselves in danger from bullies.

But that's how they operate, you do not know what they are really like until it is too late. Think yourself fortunate you have never come across anyone who is abusive.

Those in these situations will already be thinking why me? what did I do wrong? they are conditioned to think it is their fault when it isn't. Comments like the above don't help.

Dippypud

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

Yes of course you are right. I just find it hard to believe that some people are so docile and put themselves in danger from bullies.

I find it hard to believe that some people cannot fathom that some are very manipulative and controlling ....

pipkin71

Mrs_pbradley936 wrote: »

Yes of course you are right. I just find it hard to believe that some people are so docile and put themselves in danger from bullies.

It's not that easy to leave an abusive marriage / relationship.

Phil&Michelle

Get out now hun this relationship will only turn bad

OldMotherTucker

How can 'the mask slip' 'gradually' in a' few months'? Seriously?

Wow! If a siren went off, how long would it take the OP to realise what was going on?

Isolt - how could you get so deep in a relationship in such a short time that you have no escape - it's as tragic and fictional as your namesake! I like a bit of fiction on a Sunday night though!

stephen77

Find out who is ex is?
Then see what she did? If he is that bad, he would have broke the restraining order.

Running_Horse

Can't believe some are being so insensitive. Even if it was made up (I very much doubt it), there will definitely be others reading this who need good advice, and don't need to be called liars and told they won't be believed, or told they somehow deserve it. Abusive relationships are more common than you might think.

moneyistooshorttomention

Dippypud wrote: »

I find it hard to believe that some people cannot fathom that some are very manipulative and controlling ....

It does sometimes take a long time for the penny to drop on that.

If one is a nice person and believer in people jointly making joint decisions etc etc - then it can take an awful long time to realise sometimes. That applies even at a friendship level - where it can take an outsider to point out that your so-called "friend" seems to be doing all your share of decision-making/talking as well as their own share.

Holds hands up to that one:o. I'm in my 60s and the penny has just dropped about a friend pulling that stunt on me and now the shutters have dropped from my eyes - it is blindingly obvious.:o

It took a comment from a poster on here for it to click that the relationship was veering on abusive even - well it has to be pretty abusive when the (now former) friend clearly doesnt give a darn about your welfare/lies to you/tries to "re-write history" and say that things didnt happen that you clearly remember did happen.

Point being - yep it probably is surprising just how many relationships out there are abusive to one extent or another.

Pollycat

Running_Horse wrote: »

Can't believe some are being so insensitive. Even if it was made up (I very much doubt it), there will definitely be others reading this who need good advice, and don't need to be called liars and told they won't be believed, or told they somehow deserve it. Abusive relationships are more common than you might think.

I'm sure the OP would have got different responses if this had been posted on the 'Marriages' board (where it really belongs).

OldMotherTucker

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Point being - yep it probably is surprising just how many relationships out there are abusive to one extent or another.

Prehaps the lesson is not to jump in too deep and too quickly just in case the guy happens to be an abusive, crack-smoking, drug dealing, cheating ex con.

It's up to the individual where they choose to draw the line but this isn't a first relationship and it's only been going on a few months . . just saying!!