How do you move on?

Oakdene

What do you do when no one compares to the one? The one you had & you lost but no matter how much you try not to she is still on your mind every single day even though you broke up almost 2 years ago.

We dont live close (different counties), we've not seen each other in all that time & aren't friends on any social media platform but no matter how much I try I just cant stop thinking about her. So it's not like we have been constantly bumping into each other or seeing each other online - I have no idea why no more than ever I cannot stop thinking about her.

I know in my heart that she is the one (I didn't believe in 'the one' but I do now), I know she is the one who made me the happiest I have ever been, I know now what I did wrong (in terms of what I didn't do). So surely I should be able to move on & look to the future but try as I might I can't, no matter what I try. I have looked to dating but I just don't get the 'buzz' of talking to someone else or even meeting someone else.

Can someone please tell me that eventually this will pass?

Comms69

Have you met anyone else since?

Oakdene

Comms69 wrote: »

Have you met anyone else since?

I did, yes but it didnt work out, we just didnt make each other happy.

Comms69

Oakdene wrote: »

I did, yes but it didnt work out, we just didnt make each other happy.

Do you think because it didn't work out, you relapsed to old feelings (presumably the old relationship lasted longer?)


I do understand, I don't get the dating thing either.


Two years is a long time, do you think there's a chance to try again?

Oakdene

Comms69 wrote: »

Do you think because it didn't work out, you relapsed to old feelings (presumably the old relationship lasted longer?)


I do understand, I don't get the dating thing either.


Two years is a long time, do you think there's a chance to try again?

I have no idea, I literally have no reasoning for having the feelings still - as I said its not like I see her everyday or frequently where the sight of her stirs the emotions up inside of me. I can hand on heart say if she called me up & said "lets try again" I would in a heartbeat.

Even now, when I talk to someone who may or may not be interested in me I cant even imagine dating them or having any type of relationship other than friendship with them.

I am an eternal pessimist so I have already resigned myself to nothing happening if I spoke to her.

gettingtheresometime

Could it be that you're after how you felt with the ex rather than being with the ex (if that makes any sense)


Also could it be that the relationship you had afterwards never had a chance because you were thinking too much of your ex?

annandale

It's possible she's in a new relationship.

Oakdene

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Could it be that you're after how you felt with the ex rather than being with the ex (if that makes any sense)

This is interesting, I hadn't thought about that... but I would go straight back to her if she asked so perhaps that leans towards the latter of your question?

Oakdene

annandale wrote: »

It's possible she's in a new relationship.

Yes of course, this is very possible (given how amazing she is & looks). I was safe to say I was batting well above!! :rotfl::rotfl:

hazyjo

If it didn't go two ways, then she was absolutely not 'the one'.


That's how I get over relationships. If she wasn't the one, there is someone out there who is. You will never find her if you are still in love with, or pining over, an ex. So get yourself out there, get dating, socialising, and find her - when you're ready!


A broken heart needs time to heal - that does not mean she's still the one. Concentrate on making your heart better, being happy with life and yourself, and things will change.

gettingtheresometime

Oakdene wrote: »

Yes of course, this is very possible (given how amazing she is & looks). I was safe to say I was batting well above!! :rotfl::rotfl:

So your ego, by simply being with her (not saying you didn't love her) was being boosted - if that makes sense.


So anyone who was 'ordinary' looking was onto a loser before they started because they couldn't give you the same 'buzz'


I'm not saying you didn't love her but it sounds as if you also loved the way she made you feel & perhaps are confusing the two feelings.


tbh what's wrong with just going out with someone - if it stays as a friendship then you've got one more friend and if it leads to romance ...then well it leads to romance.