Why is he ignoring me?

pimento

Citygirl1 wrote: »

Its true what you say. However, why did he keep saying 'what might happen' and why hide his relationship from me and let me find out about it on Facebook? Why will he do 'couply' things with this woman and never would with me, despite saying he has feelings for me? I know he doesn't have to report to me, nor do I with him but I do have feelings and I feel as if I have been used.

He's using you for sex.

Pollycat

pimento wrote: »

He's using you for sex.

I didn't read the OP's posts that way.

I read it that they were boyfriend/girlfriend 32 years ago and got back in touch with each other years later but more as friends despite the OP wanting more.

I do think this chap has led the OP on.

pinkshoes

He no doubt liked you as a friend when you were seeing the married man, but now you are single, he just doesn't want to take the risk that you might ruin his current happy relationship, given you have made it very clear to him that you are still interested, and he clearly is not interested.

I think the friendship has run its course and you need to move on and stop thinking about this person.

pimento

Pollycat wrote: »

I didn't read the OP's posts that way.

I read it that they were boyfriend/girlfriend 32 years ago and got back in touch with each other years later but more as friends despite the OP wanting more.

I do think this chap has led the OP on.

Well the fact that he just wants to come round and see her but not go anywhere except her house would have the alarm bells ringing for me.

Mr_Costcutter

Life is short - don't waste a second more on this chap.

Pollycat

pimento wrote: »

Well the fact that he just wants to come round and see her but not go anywhere except her house would have the alarm bells ringing for me.

I guess you can read what the OP has shared either way.

But the clear message (at least to me) is - he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her and maybe never has and it seems now that he doesn't even want a friendship with her.
This may be because I would imagine it might be tiresome to be friends with someone who clearly wants to be in a relationship with you or he may have a different reason.

I'm sure this thread is painful for the OP to read but the sooner she faces up to the fact that he's not interested in her the better for her future life.

System

I don't know how to get rid of my anger, it is this I find it hard to move on from.

Its hard to move on from because you havent got closure.

He kept saying 'wait and see' but nothing happened.

Says it all really.

suejb2

Basically you had a "friend with benefits" relationship, which is now over.

You must have experienced a lot of grief to 'need' a nine year affair!

Your annoyance eased when you found out she has cancer! I have no comment.

You say you don't want to chase him, perhaps not physically but you're checking his Facebook.


I agree with warehouse, you come across immature.

pearl123

There is closure. Leave his facebook page alone.
Additionally, ex boyfriend has another relationship and is not in contact.
I think a mature women should be able to understand that it's over.

Why is OP interested in him now? Is it because she now finds herself single.

If you have relationships that need to be kept secret then clearly there is a problem of some sort!

If OP is finding info about his life via facebook then she has no real relationship with him. She needs to wake up to reality.

System

I think a mature women should be able to understand that it's over.

Sometimes the heart overrules the head. Mature people can still have a young heart you know.