Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

[Deleted User]

elizabethhull wrote: »

Just an update on my Aunt - she died just after 7 this evening. Don't be sad for her - she had a full life on her own terms, and the luxury of dying in peace in her own bed. I am full of admiration for her.

Sincere condolences to you and yours on the loss of your beloved Aunt. She sounds like a very special lady and I know you'll have so many wonderful memories of her long and full life.


My Mum died on New Year's Eve a few years ago and it always adds extra poignancy to what for me previously was always an exciting event which heralded in a fresh new year full of promise. I still look forward but with a greater sense of realising who and what I've lost. I suppose retrospection comes with age anyway but I shall feel it very keenly this year especially as my only brother died in February.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

Have a good evening HH with your family and Happy New Year when it arrives. I will be in bed asleep I hope .

Thanks Cumbria, I hope you manage to sleep through it .

Nicnak wrote: »

Happy New Year's eve.

Thank you Nicnak . I hope you manage to get some enjoyment out of the new year.

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Sincere condolences to you and yours on the loss of your beloved Aunt. She sounds like a very special lady and I know you'll have so many wonderful memories of her long and full life.


My Mum died on New Year's Eve a few years ago and it always adds extra poignancy to what for me previously was always an exciting event which heralded in a fresh new year full of promise. I still look forward but with a greater sense of realising who and what I've lost. I suppose retrospection comes with age anyway but I shall feel it very keenly this year especially as my only brother died in February.

I hope you have a good day Carboot and don't feel too sad about your mum and brother. How do you normally spend new year's eve?

HairyHandofDartmoor

Having my aunt and uncle around tonight will help me get through new year's eve I'm sure, although I'm not sure whether they'll stay until midnight or not.

Tomorrow the DC will probably sleep until lunchtime, so DH and I thought we would go for another walk in the woods in the morning. It was so peaceful there on Christmas morning. Then I'll see how I feel in the afternoon. DH said we can go out again if I feel upset.

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I hope you have a good day Carboot and don't feel too sad about your mum and brother. How do you normally spend new year's eve?

Thank you:)

OH and I spend it on our own nowadays. I cook an evening meal as I do every night of the year but usually make it a bit special. We're having salmon tonight which is one of our favourites and, believe it or not, Christmas pudding:rotfl:. We both love it and I stock up after Christmas every year when they are on offer as they keep for ages. The one I'll be using tonight was bought last January and still has several months before its 'best by' date. I don't have a sweet tooth so rarely eat 'puddings' but Christmas pud is the exception. I could happily eat it every day:o. We've a bottle of wine which OH won in a raffle which is much more expensive than the kind I normally buy so we'll enjoy that too.


After that we usually go our separate ways as we don't share a single TV programme that we like and I prefer to read anyway so OH goes into another room where the main TV is and watches that or maybe does a jigsaw or something. I can't read in the same room as a TV being on so I'll be in my small sitting room where I have my stuff and a small heater as I like to be warm;). I have a small TV in there and will be watching Jools Holland as usual later on and the London fireworks. I'll probably have my favourite tipple (Jim Beam bourbon whisky and ice cold sparkling water) at midnight to toast 'absent' friends/family but OH will be in bed by then.


It's not as if we don't talk to each other at all during the evening, whoever makes teas or coffees will ask the other one if they want one:rotfl:

HairyHandofDartmoor

My main goals for 2019 are to get a job and build a life without my mum.

But I have lots of secondary goals. If I can get a job and have a secure income then I want to be able to:

1 - Afford to visit DS3 at uni and visit other relatives that I am fond of.
2 - Provide a secure and comfortable base in our home for the DC.
3 - Build an emergency fund.
4 - Save to get urgent house repairs done.
5 - Have a family holiday for the first time in years.
6 - I want DH to be free of the stress of trying to earn all the money to cover our bills.
7 - Pay off our mortgage (we only have around £40,000 left to pay).

I'll need a very well paid job to manage all of that! Or my business needs to take off big time! But it doesn't hurt to clarify my goals.

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

My main goals for 2019 are to get a job and build a life without my mum.

But I have lots of secondary goals. If I can get a job and have a secure income then I want to be able to:

1 - Afford to visit DS3 at uni and visit other relatives that I am fond of.
2 - Provide a secure and comfortable base in our home for the DC.
3 - Build an emergency fund.
4 - Save to get urgent house repairs done.
5 - Have a family holiday for the first time in years.
6 - I want DH to be free of the stress of trying to earn all the money to cover our bills.
7 - Pay off our mortgage (we only have around £40,000 left to pay).

I'll need a very well paid job to manage all of that! Or my business needs to take off big time! But it doesn't hurt to clarify my goals.

You seem to have put a lot of thought into your goals, and I will be wishing with all my heart that you can start working towards them as soon as possible.

Coping without your beloved Mum will be ongoing for some time, as you know, but she was obviously worth your deep feelings, and that is a blessing in itself.

As an interesting financial aside, when the National Lottery started, I was collecting weekly child allowance from the PO, and decided to buy a £1 ticket per week - a weekly investment in hope. I also kept a record of expenditure and winnings. After 3 years, when I stopped, I had very luckily broken even, so had experienced the hope for free!

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Elizabeth .

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Thank you:)

OH and I spend it on our own nowadays. I cook an evening meal as I do every night of the year but usually make it a bit special. We're having salmon tonight which is one of our favourites and, believe it or not, Christmas pudding:rotfl:. We both love it and I stock up after Christmas every year when they are on offer as they keep for ages. The one I'll be using tonight was bought last January and still has several months before its 'best by' date. I don't have a sweet tooth so rarely eat 'puddings' but Christmas pud is the exception. I could happily eat it every day:o. We've a bottle of wine which OH won in a raffle which is much more expensive than the kind I normally buy so we'll enjoy that too.


After that we usually go our separate ways as we don't share a single TV programme that we like and I prefer to read anyway so OH goes into another room where the main TV is and watches that or maybe does a jigsaw or something. I can't read in the same room as a TV being on so I'll be in my small sitting room where I have my stuff and a small heater as I like to be warm;). I have a small TV in there and will be watching Jools Holland as usual later on and the London fireworks. I'll probably have my favourite tipple (Jim Beam bourbon whisky and ice cold sparkling water) at midnight to toast 'absent' friends/family but OH will be in bed by then.


It's not as if we don't talk to each other at all during the evening, whoever makes teas or coffees will ask the other one if they want one:rotfl:

The important thing is that you are both doing what makes you happy .

HairyHandofDartmoor

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

My main goals for 2019 are to get a job and build a life without my mum.

But I have lots of secondary goals. If I can get a job and have a secure income then I want to be able to:

1 - Afford to visit DS3 at uni and visit other relatives that I am fond of.
2 - Provide a secure and comfortable base in our home for the DC.
3 - Build an emergency fund.
4 - Save to get urgent house repairs done.
5 - Have a family holiday for the first time in years.
6 - I want DH to be free of the stress of trying to earn all the money to cover our bills.
7 - Pay off our mortgage (we only have around £40,000 left to pay).

I'll need a very well paid job to manage all of that! Or my business needs to take off big time! But it doesn't hurt to clarify my goals.

I've already made some changes in 2018 since my mum died which I think are positive.

1 - I've stopped working full time with DH which I found stressful and where I felt I was unable to contribute much anyway.
2 - I've committed more fully in my mind to my volunteering and haven't missed a single session.
3 - I've started going to Pilates which gives me social contact and gives my stress an outlet.
4 - I've enrolled on a part time course which should help me to get a job.
5 - I've started a small business which may or may not take off, but I'll never know unless I try, and I can do it at weekends so it won't prevent me working full time.