Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

milann wrote: »

I didn’t get a thank you either from our head. She was however, running around rather stressed as I left on Thursday. My old school head used to buy all the staff a little something- a candle, or small box of chocolate and the deputy put cakes on the staff room table every half term as a thanks but it was a much smaller school. I’ve never had a present from senior management at this school but we do get a birthday hour and Christmas shopping morning ( of our choice as long as there is cover - which we do for each other) as a thank you. I definitely prefer the time off to a trinket that isn’t usually to my taste. Previous years I’ve had presents from parents and teachers I work with but I haven’t been there this year so didn’t expect any.
Hope you get your shopping done tomorrow- I’ve got a few bits to get but will do the bulk of what I need after Christmas ready for New Year as we’re not eating at home until 28th.
Have a lovely Christmas with your boys - and as for housework- do whatever suits you and your family :beer:

Thank you Milann . My school is quite a small one so the head knows all her staff quite well. A birthday hour and a Christmas shopping morning sound very useful.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Finally_Solvent wrote: »

I see you agree with what SA and Nicnak said re the Head and I hope you didn't think my comments came across as not being very supportive to your situation. I seem to fall short of expressing myself properly on these boards and my words are sometimes misconstrued:o. Sorry if so. My intention was solely to make you feel better about things.


I was just playing Devil's advocate in a way, definitely not condoning the Head's lack of Christmas spirit or empathy with the staff at what will have been a very tiring and stressful time for them. Although some Heads are fully appreciative of their staff and all they do, some just don't express it. Please don't take your Head's mean-spiritedness as anything personal to you. It's obvious from what you say about the TAs and lunchtime staff that she treats everyone that way. A verbal 'Merry Christmas' would have cost her nothing though.


I wasn't a teacher myself but my sister was and was Deputy Head in a big Comprehensive school of almost 1000 pupils. It was a very large, mixed staff with more men than women and the Head was male. She once asked the Head about showing the staff some form of tangible expression of thanks at Christmas and he seemed totally nonplussed at the idea. He told her she could if she wanted to but it wasn't anything he or 'the school' would be doing:eek:. She used to buy everyone a card out of her own money, that's teachers, assistants, admin staff, cleaners, cooks, etc etc and write a message of thanks inside. She signed them as from herself though, not on behalf of the Head:rotfl:. It was a different set-up to a small Primary school though and she said House/Department/Year Heads used to give some sort of appreciation to their own staff members. My sister always said that apart from that, the Head was well-liked and it was a lovely, happy school to work in. I expect a lot of that was down to her though as she was very empathetic and caring.

Thank you FS . I know you don't mean to offend anyone and I'm sure you don't. You are always very supportive . Your sister sounds like a lovely person and a good manager.

I didn't take it personally but I do think that it's not a good way to manage your team. When pay is low, work is hard and there is no money for bonuses or overtime, how else can you possibly maintain staff morale other than a thank you? It's just not how I would do things. I know the head is a very busy lady, but as we are a small school she could afford to give a Christmas card to her staff paid for out of her own large salary. It would make the staff feel valued, raise morale and probably everyone would do a better job if they didn't feel demoralised.

Willowtree222

Thanks Hairy,

I am conscious of how little pay the TAs and lunchtime staff receive and so think it is kind just to maybe get them something little as a gesture of 'you are noticed and appreciated'. It isn't anything amazing. I think a simple gather you r staff, and say thank you are important. Like you said, people are doing so much more with no budget.

Hope you are back home now after that Christmas shop! I have to nip out to the post office and I am not looking forward to it although last day of posting was yesterday so hoping it has quietened down!

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thank you FS . I know you don't mean to offend anyone and I'm sure you don't. You are always very supportive . Your sister sounds like a lovely person and a good manager.

I didn't take it personally but I do think that it's not a good way to manage your team. When pay is low, work is hard and there is no money for bonuses or overtime, how else can you possibly maintain staff morale other than a thank you? It's just not how I would do things. I know the head is a very busy lady, but as we are a small school she could afford to give a Christmas card to her staff paid for out of her own large salary. It would make the staff feel valued, raise morale and probably everyone would do a better job if they didn't feel demoralised.

Thank you, HHOD. What a kind and supportive person you are to all of your diary followers:A

I so agree that the whole staff who actually do the work (and on whom, after all, the reputation of the school depends however good the Head is) deserve to be appreciated. A 'thank you' costs nothing even if a card wasn't forthcoming


Enjoy your morning shopping. Enjoy might be the wrong word for it today but I hope you and DH can find whatever you need and don't have to queue too long for anything:beer:.

I was really pleased that I don't have to go out of the house at all today:j but I ended up being awake most of the night because of a neighbour's burglar alarm:eek::mad:. His house isn't all that near us but another nearish neighbour who lives directly opposite the house with the alarm phoned us on the landline at about 3 a.m. to say the alarm had been going off for a while (it hadn't woken DH and I up but it's a fair way away) and the security lights also kept going on and off. He thought DH might 'like' to go with him to have a scout round the property as the owners are away and there are some vintage cars in the garage. The owner doesn't drive these cars, they are just a hobby (how he can afford to buy them and restore them beats me:rotfl:) but they were all on show on the road when we had a village open day recently and he was giving people short rides in them. He said himself he was a bit worried about their security now everyone who drove past during the open day is aware of them and he asked DH to keep an eye and just have a walk round the back of the house occasionally to check that everything's OK whilst he's away. Bit of a cheek really as he's not what I'd call a friend or even close acquaintance and other people live nearer to him than we do. DH went round in the teeming rain after tea last night and everything was OK but I suppose thieves do their work in the dead of night.


I'm feeling grumpy now as my planned lie-in didn't happen and I know I won't be able to sleep during the daytime:(. Knowing me I'll nod off during the evening in the middle of something I'm watching on TV:o. I hope there's nothing good on that I don't want to miss;)

HairyHandofDartmoor

Finally_Solvent wrote: »

Thank you, HHOD. What a kind and supportive person you are to all of your diary followers:A

I so agree that the whole staff who actually do the work (and on whom, after all, the reputation of the school depends however good the Head is) deserve to be appreciated. A 'thank you' costs nothing even if a card wasn't forthcoming


Enjoy your morning shopping. Enjoy might be the wrong word for it today but I hope you and DH can find whatever you need and don't have to queue too long for anything:beer:.

I was really pleased that I don't have to go out of the house at all today:j but I ended up being awake most of the night because of a neighbour's burglar alarm:eek::mad:. His house isn't all that near us but another nearish neighbour who lives directly opposite the house with the alarm phoned us on the landline at about 3 a.m. to say the alarm had been going off for a while (it hadn't woken DH and I up but it's a fair way away) and the security lights also kept going on and off. He thought DH might 'like' to go with him to have a scout round the property as the owners are away and there are some vintage cars in the garage. The owner doesn't drive these cars, they are just a hobby (how he can afford to buy them and restore them beats me:rotfl:) but they were all on show on the road when we had a village open day recently and he was giving people short rides in them. He said himself he was a bit worried about their security now everyone who drove past during the open day is aware of them and he asked DH to keep an eye and just have a walk round the back of the house occasionally to check that everything's OK whilst he's away. Bit of a cheek really as he's not what I'd call a friend or even close acquaintance and other people live nearer to him than we do. DH went round in the teeming rain after tea last night and everything was OK but I suppose thieves do their work in the dead of night.


I'm feeling grumpy now as my planned lie-in didn't happen and I know I won't be able to sleep during the daytime:(. Knowing me I'll nod off during the evening in the middle of something I'm watching on TV:o. I hope there's nothing good on that I don't want to miss;)

Thanks FS . How annoying that you had a disturbed night, burglar alarms can be so intrusive in nobody is around to switch them off :mad:. I hope you have restful day to compensate and don't fall asleep during a favourite programme.

HairyHandofDartmoor

We've successfully bought our Christmas food and it wasn't too horrendous :T. We arrived at Mr T at 9.30am, the roads were fairly empty and there were spaces in the car park. By the time we left at 11.30am it was a different story however :eek:. People were driving around looking for spaces in the car park when we left and I dread to think what it would be like by lunchtime :eek:.

We spent about £170 :eek:. It was mainly Christmas food, but we also got a couple of presents and some normal items we needed like toilet roll, mouth wash, soap, face powder, milk, etc. The presents we got were for DS3. We got him a really nice Tef@l wok which was half price and cost £15 :money: plus six bottles of various ales for £7 reduced from £8.50.

Foodwise we got all the food for Christmas day lunch, Christmas day tea and Boxing day. If there's any left over then it will be sure to get eaten. We bought a few treats that we don't tend to have at other times of year, like mince pies and a big tub of Devon clotted cream. We managed to get everything we wanted and there were staff stocking up the shelves constantly. We saved money by buying chicken instead of turkey and got frozen party food for Boxing day tea which was cheaper than fresh. We don't have the time or energy to do lots of baking. We also succumbed to some half price lights to put around our porch. I've wanted outside lights for years but we've never had any, so this year is going to be the year . I thought the staff in Mr T were very good natured considering how busy it was.

This afternoon we're going to clean and tidy the house and hopefully put up the new outside lights. I'd also like to put up card ribbons as our Christmas cards are piled up on the coffee table. The weather is awful but we don't have to go anywhere .

I hope everyone is having a calm and relaxing Saturday, or if not then at least a productive one .

beanielou

Happy new lights

elizabethhull

Finally_Solvent wrote: »

Thank you, HHOD. What a kind and supportive person you are to all of your diary followers:A

She is, isn't she, FS ? AND lets some of us witter on about our own lives on HER diary !!

(Only 4 days left and a mere 57 things to do. DD2 is using us as a staging point before going out tonight, then as a B&B, and I wouldn't be surprised to find I'm expected to provide sellotape, wrapping paper........!)

You seem to have done well with your Xmas food shopping, HH. And your getting-there-early plan was a great success.
Is the clotted cream going with the mince pies ?

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou wrote: »

Happy new lights

Thanks Beanie .

elizabethhull wrote: »

She is, isn't she, FS ? AND lets some of us witter on about our own lives on HER diary !!

(Only 4 days left and a mere 57 things to do. DD2 is using us as a staging point before going out tonight, then as a B&B, and I wouldn't be surprised to find I'm expected to provide sellotape, wrapping paper........!)

You seem to have done well with your Xmas food shopping, HH. And your getting-there-early plan was a great success.
Is the clotted cream going with the mince pies ?

Thanks Elizabeth . I know :eek:. It's only three and a half days now :eek:. I hope you can provide for all of DD's needs tonight :rotfl:. I also hope you get all your own jobs done.

The clotted cream certainly is going with the mince pies, cold clotted cream on warm mince pies nom nom nom .

HairyHandofDartmoor

DH has successfully decorated our porch with the new Christmas lights :xmastree:. I'm very pleased with them as I've been wanting them for years. They're not flashing ones but just give a lovely warm glow :xmassmile. We got very cold doing it though as it's been chucking it down with freezing rain all afternoon and our porch is just a roof and is open at the front :eek:. I'm very glad we did our food shop this morning while it was dry (and less busy).

Our next job (hopefully) is to put up the second string of berry lights around the living room so that they meet in the middle. I still need to put up the card ribbons too and put another wash on.

It's so nice to be well enough and to have the time to do jobs around the house :rudolf:.