Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor · 28 July 2019 at 5:02PM

teafor2 wrote: »

Hi HHD I can only imagine how strange the meal must have felt and even though I'd be trying very hard to see things from all points of view, I must admit the fact your step dad seems to have moved on so quickly would upset me if I were in your situation.

I think you're very brave flying on your own. I'd be OK if hubby could literally walk me to my seat but I don't think I'd have the confidence to do it myself so I take my hat off to you. I'm sure all anxiety will be forgotten once you're there and enjoying your sister's company. Have a lovely time. xx

Thank you TF2

. Things are tricky emotionally at the moment, especially hearing them address each other affectionately, but I'm doing my best to cope with it all

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I'm normally quite confident about travelling and see it all as a big adventure, but I feel a bit emotionally fragile at the moment. I have to get a coach to the airport and then fly to Scotland on my own, but my sister will meet me at the airport when I land.

beanielou · 28 July 2019 at 5:14PM

Meant to say that I am not sure that I would be as gracious as you in the circumstances with your step dad.
I take my hat off to you.

please-let-me-be-lucky · 28 July 2019 at 5:37PM

Hope you have a lovely time with your sister Xx

elizabethhull · 28 July 2019 at 5:49PM

Have a great time in bonny Scotland ! I've never flown on my own, so I admire your enterprise. I'm sure seeing your sister will be a real break and a time to catch up face-to-face.

Are you taking your new clothes ?

HairyHandofDartmoor · 28 July 2019 at 6:50PM

beanielou wrote: »

Meant to say that I am not sure that I would be as gracious as you in the circumstances with your step dad.
I take my hat off to you.

Thank you Beanie

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please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Hope you have a lovely time with your sister Xx

Thank you Lucky

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elizabethhull wrote: »

Have a great time in bonny Scotland ! I've never flown on my own, so I admire your enterprise. I'm sure seeing your sister will be a real break and a time to catch up face-to-face.

Are you taking your new clothes ?

Thank you Elizabeth

. I am taking my new clothes

.

greenbee · 28 July 2019 at 6:57PM

beanielou wrote: »

Meant to say that I am not sure that I would be as gracious as you in the circumstances with your step dad.
I take my hat off to you.

I'd be open minded about this. My cousins are incredibly grateful that their father has found a 'companion' following their mother's death. She has given him purpose and focus, and prevented him from becoming a burden on them, which he was in danger of doing. She's actually an old family friend, older than him, and also a widow, but with a very active social and family life.

While it's hard to see what might feel like your mum being replaced, bear in mind that your stepdad is probably lonely. He's not necessarily looking for a replacement for your mum, but someone to spend time with and do things with so he has something to focus on other than the massive void in his life. While you have your DH and DSs and work to fill your time and provide you with support and love, he may not have had so much to keep him from thinking about how empty and quiet life is.

The other point to remember is that a lot of men aren't very good at being on their own

Think how lost the men in your life will be without you while you're at your sister's!

HairyHandofDartmoor · 28 July 2019 at 8:00PM

Thank you Greenbee

. There is a lot of truth in what you say, and those are the main reasons that I'm trying to accept the situation. It is hard though.

Sun_Addict · 28 July 2019 at 8:50PM

Unfortunately men aren’t as good as being on their own as we are. Having said that a friend of mine found a new man not that long after her hubby passed away. I guess we’re all different. I can understand how you feel. What Greenbee says is spot on.

Enjoy your time with your sister