This Duo's debt free journey

HairyHandofDartmoor

Well done on getting all that work done, you really can move mountains when you are motivated :T.

117pauline

Sorry to hear you have had such a lack of support from your lecturer. I wrote something rather ruder then thought I ought to be a grown up even if he was an insensitive *******.

However you sorted it. YOU DID IT. So next time you face a similar lack of assistance, you know you are able to work through the problem. Unfortunately in our world we don't just meet helpful and supportive individuals.

And the loneliness? It comes in waves, I've found. Is Meet Up suitable for you? It's one of the reasons I talk about self care - if you can have ideas of things you enjoy then it will help fill the time productively (I mean enjoyably for you).

I would imagine you are feeling more positive about studying as you have achieved a lot this week. Detailed planning and short bursts of study help reduce anxiety and let your brain sort through ideas even when you aren't working on a particular piece.

Take care, the best revenge is to do well!
Pauline

DebtFreeDuo

Thank you all, I really appreciate all of your words.

I think it just completely puts me off seeking support Pauline, it takes a lot for me to ask for help so to get that kind of response back really doesn't help in changing that.

I am currently in a situation where I'm holding on to something that I probably shouldn't be which I think contributes to me feeling lonely.

EssexHebridean

DebtFreeDuo wrote: »

I'm not sure, I would assume that they have support somewhere although this lecturer is also the director of the particular degree that I do so I don't want it to backfire on me in anyway which I'm worried it will because of the type of character he is. I will see if I can talk to someone in confidence at the university just to see whether or not they believe this kind of behaviour is acceptable. If they feel that it is then I may have to look at transferring to a different university next year.

That sounds like a very sensible approach. There should definitely be someone for you to speak to in confidence so no risk of that backfiring on you - if it subsequently did then you'd have extremely good grounds for a grievance I think!

I am currently in a situation where I'm holding on to something that I probably shouldn't be which I think contributes to me feeling lonely.

So - what can you do to make steps towards dealing with that situation?

DebtFreeDuo

I should hopefully be taking some steps over the next day or two to deal with this situation, I think I'm struggling with it a little because I don't completely understand all the reasoning behind it. It has been going on for too long now and I know I need to just let go of the idea and let things be whatever they will be.

DebtFreeDuo

What a difference two days make! Today I was showing a couple of people where they had gone wrong with their assignment (on the particular software I was having issues with), to say that I was really struggling just two days ago I can't believe how much I have turned it around.

This week

[STRIKE]Assignment for IM module [/STRIKE] - Submitted!
[STRIKE]Assignment for AS module[/STRIKE] - Submitted!
Assignment for FC module - To start tomorrow
Assignment for TM module This is being moved to next week
Flashcards for all modules in preparation for January exams - Still 3 to go

DebtFreeDuo

Spent a small fortune today, some successes although I did spend more than I would have liked. First success was doubling up £5 of nectar points to buy a £10 toy to tick another one off the Christmas list. I also doubled up £20 to £40 on clothing, I bought DS a couple of things and also treated myself to a couple of things too. Had a voucher that expired today for 9p off per litre of fuel for spending over £15 on clothing so I will now save money on my next top up, I am going to run my fuel completely down to make the most of it. I still have £37 remaining in nectar points too.

The bad news is that I spent a total of £128.12 (£78.12 after applying my double ups), this included the additional £16 I spent on clothes over the £40 double up and also included some chocolate (£6) for mum for Christmas so around £56 total on food.

Whilst I was out I also came to the realisation that my mindset hasn't yet completely changed, I received a letter through offering me a 0% purchase card for 12 months and today I found myself thinking 'if I applied for that card I could use it for days like today and leave the balance on there', I won't be applying for it but having that thought worried me that at some point I will get myself into a mess again, I have to do everything I can to prevent this and will keep telling myself how hard I am working to clear all my debt early.

117pauline

I understand about not wanting to ask for help after the response you got. But not everyone will respond that way so don't let it stop you asking in future.

And well done on helping the others too. You know that's the best way to really ensure your new knowledge? And it feels good too, of course. Supporting each other on a Uni course is really important as well.

Your mindset is changing, you know. You didn't do it. You considered it but didn't do it. Yes, there will be temptations along the way but you are learning how you can manage. That's different for each person.

And the shopping? Back to writing down which pots each comes from. Then you can see just how "bad" it really was. Remember keep posting
Pauline

DebtFreeDuo

Thank you Pauline, you make a lot of great points as always.

I think I am going to have to revert back to my pots, I'm just feeling a little rebellious at the moment so I'm trying to minimise the damage. I am trying to put my focus in to presents so at least my spending will be something I need to buy anyway. If I'm completely honest I'm not sure how much pots would have helped me today.

I do currently have about £300 outstanding from a friend that I haven't included anywhere as of yet as I'm not sure when I will get this back, it could be as late as April/May.

redofromstart

DFD - I used to work in HE, addressing those kind of stupid behaviours. There should be a published route for expressing your concerns, is there a head of department type person you could have a chat with, or a student dean? It is unacceptable, and it does need pointing out. I found it frankly depressing some of the behaviours lecturers thought it was ok to use with fee paying students. Don't forget a lot of them have never left school, and the idea that students are paying for a service is an alien one.