Please let me hold your hand...roll on 2018!

Lynplatinum

Dear VfM4meplse

When I moved last year the buyers of my house were so put out by the first surveyor's report that they had a second one done - which mentioned none of the 'defects' the previous one had found! neither of them mentioned issues that I told my buyer about (I sold through Tepilo and cant speak highly enough of them). Get a tame builder to at least look at the 'survey' it is often a method of allowing the lender to offer you less should you want/need a mortgage. Not that they arent useful as a 'take into consideration' advice but be aware how much they are trying to cover their own ****

Moving is an emotional roller coaster.

But it will be worth it in the end to be by the sea - believe me!
Wishing you well. tc

VfM4meplse

Thanks for your kind words :A

Floss wrote: »

I think you should stay positive. If it works out, it was meant to be. If not then there is somewhere better meant for you.

And quit buying books!

Thats precisely why I bought another two today - was in a soddit kind of mood! And a blouse that was a want, not a need

MMF007

Don't despair!
Firstly, there will usually be more to do than the survey says because you will find poor joinery, rotten woodwork, or cosmetic things you didn't think woold bug you! This will keep your creative mind occupied, deciding how to make the place your own.
Secondly, if the works mentioned in the survey are required and will only take you 18 months of financial squeeze, that's a very short time to put up with for an amzing end result AND meantime you will be living by the sea, jn an area you love!

Our survey included the requirement to fit a backboard to the open-tread stairs to comply with building regs. That was just before we moved in, 27 years ago. Not saying anything else, could be incriminating

PipneyJane

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I feel a bit subdued today, it’s out of my grip and all in the vendors’ hands now.

Yesterday I was told by someone with the gift that my past plans have been plagued with disappointment, and this is set to continue. Am guessing whatever happens now will be for the best. If I don’t think that way, I’ll be quite wretched.

Excuse me but I am sceptical about this person with "the gift". While I will admit to one or two psychic moments of my own in the past, the statement I have highlighted in red could easily be made to 90% of the adult population of this country who would all think it was an insight into their personal history. You don't need a psychic gift to make that statement, just knowledge of humanity. I hope you didn't pay for the reading.


Anyway, chin up. Your past does not dictate your future. Even if they gave you specific examples from your earlier life when they made their reading, it does not mean that it will happen again. Hindsight is easy but history does not have to be repeated - you can learn from it, grow and move on. Silence that self-doubt voice now. "What if's" and "if only I'd done xx instead of yy" are easy ways to beat yourself up when you're feeling down.


Apologies if the above sounds harsh. If you were here in front of me, I'd make you a cup of tea, sit you down for a few minutes, get you to focus on your breathing and give you a neck massage. You've embarked on one of the biggest periods of stress anyone can face - moving home and purchasing a property in England - and your head must be spinning. Ten minutes of meditation/mindfulness-training/anything-that-stills-your-mind will make you feel better and more able to cope.


Good luck with the move.


- Pip

LameWolf

VfM Listen to Lynplatinum, she speaks a lot of sense (I know her IRL, btw). And I wouldn't set a lot of store by someone's gloomy prognostications, either. You have your OS friends here cheering you on; hang onto that fact.

Sayschezza

And when you start packing mark the boxes with where everything is going both in terms of which room and which cupboard then pack accordingly. Never random pack as it makes unpacking a nightmare. Label the boxes with room/contents and when the removers are putting stuff into your new home, stand at the door and tell them what room it is to go in. I have moved several times and with a fairly large family in tow and I reckon I can be mostly unpacked and with beds made up in 2/3 hours after the removal men have gone.

[Deleted User]

This is all so interesting as well as quite scarey, the thought of all that stress ahead. At least I have time to sort now, before I have even seen a house to buy. Vfm, I have always been a great believer of fate, if it is meant to be then it will be,

Surveys can be very stressful, that surveyor speak. My husband was a structural engineer so I always felt comfortanble wrt building problems but not now, on my own. I have two people I will rope in, one is a very reliable odd job man, the other is a good friend also a structural engineer. Vfm are you having to go through this without a sounding board at home?

VfM4meplse

It’s weird how buying a new home can unleash such an emotional response. Am glad of the online advice in managing my crazier moments!

I’ve had some tough conversations over the past few days and it looks like things are going ahead (this week, at any rate!). I came home this evening to a thick envelope full of paperwork from the solicitor so that will keep me busy for the next couple of days. I still dare not pack though.

kittie wrote: »

Vfm are you having to go through this without a sounding board at home?

I’m on my own but have supportive parents (who are a key reason for my move back to my hometown). They’ve encouraged me to think hard but have agreed with me every step of the way. In fact it feels rather strange that they are actually taking me seriously for once! We normally quibble over minor things and it’s a bit disconcerting finally being treated like a grown up by your own parents

The other person I can always trust for good advice coated in a harsh package has been very hands-off, but again has challenged me positively in the major decisions as the plot wefts and weaves its way forwards...

monnagran

You poor dear. Regard any survey, unless you know and trust the person who carried it out, with a shovelful of salt.

When my brother and I sold my father's bungalow the surveyor nearly gave the buyer a heart attack. He said that the cracks in the concrete path that ran alongside the house had cracks that indicated subsidence.
Fortunately, my father had bought a bungalow, newly built, just a few yards down the road in 1937 which was our home when we were growing up. That concrete path was, to our certain knowledge , 75 years old.
It would have been remarkable if there had NOT been a few cracks in it.

short_bird

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I still dare not pack though.

But you can still get rid of a few things and use up the last bits of toiletries and...