School changing daughters class

Mumin2017

So my daughter returned to school last week looking forward to catching up with her classmates to be told they have moved her away from all her friends to the other half of the year, the side of the year she's never interacted with. She's devasted by the move and school didn't consult with us at all. Basically their is to many on one side of the year so they have had to move around 10 kids in nearly 200. Do I have any rights to redress this my daughter is feeling very left out at break times now and her confidence has taken a knock not to mention she no longer wants to go to school.

Mumin2017

She's just gone into year 8 after spending a year bonding with her peers

Mojisola

Mumin2017 wrote: »

Basically their is to many on one side of the year so they have had to move around 10 kids in nearly 200.

The school wouldn't consult parents on such a move but I would expect them to move children with at least one friend.

Have a calm discussion with the Headteacher.

If the school won't make any changes, treat it as a life lesson for your daughter - children who move house settle down in schools that are totally new to them.

Zeni

Oh no, that sounds rotten for your daughter - have you spoken to the school? I would given them a ring and see who you can talk to about your concerns.

pinkshoes

You need to speak to the school and state that she is very unhappy at having been moved away from her friendship group.

Chances are they might have assumed she was friends with some of the others that have been moved, but clearly this is not the case.

Savvy_Sue

I don't know if this will help, but when DS1 moved up to secondary school, they were allowed to name one friend from Primary they'd like to be with - it was a Catholic primary so most were going to the Catholic secondary.

He duly named his only friend, who hadn't been in the same class as him, but they were always together at break time. He was really looking forward to being in class with a friend.

I was devastated when I heard that he was NOT being put with that friend, and I asked the school what was going on. Their explanation was that another child's mother had specifically asked that HER son be put with my son's friend, and given extenuating circumstances. I'm not even sure her son had named my son's friend ...

Anyway, school wouldn't budge, gave me all the usual guff "they're all new, he's with others from his school, he'll soon make friends" etc. Which I didn't really buy because if he'd only made one friend in Junior School it wasn't like he was suddenly going to become Mr Popular, was it?

However, there was nothing to be done, so I encouraged DS1 to get on with it, and look for his friend at breaktimes etc.

In the end, I think DS1 came out of it best. He didn't make friends exactly, but his history teacher noticed that he didn't really interact with anyone so made a point of pairing him up with another boy rather than leaving him to his own devices. Those two got on OK, so then DS1 had both his original friend and this new buddy.

As it happened, we moved at the end of Year 7, so he really WAS on his own at the start of Year 8. I won't pretend it was easy, but he survived.

By all means talk to her tutor, and to the head of year / head of house (whatever structures you have there), to ensure they are aware of your daughter's feelings, but at the same time I'd encourage her to get stuck in, especially as others have been moved so will almost certainly be feeling the same.

Are the two halves of the school separated at break times? If not then that can be a good chance to catch up.

Savvy_Sue

Also does she do any out of school stuff with her 'old' friends? Remind her of that, remind her she can see them at other times.

I think your attitude can help a lot, I said above that I was devastated, and I was, and very worried, but I did my best not to pass that on to him.

Mumin2017

Thank you all for your input it's good yo hear other people's views. She's been incredibly upset as she struggles with any sort of change in or out of school and gets quite anxious something I made the school aware of in year 7. I'm really concerned about her education too as she's feeling so uncomfortable in her new setting that she's no concentrating add to that she's now sitting with boys who are distracting her. I've spoken to the school and I have a meeting with hoy tonight although I've already been told it will be very difficult to put her back as the other side is now full stating because she is clever and the higher sets were full. Also said they chose her because she shows maturity beyond her years, doesn't help me calm her fears though

Mumin2017

I've tried to convince her a move might mean a chance to spread her wings and meet more friends but she just shuts off. She's a very loyal friend but doesn't trust people unless she is completely at ease with them. Yes she is still meeting up with her friends at lunch but feels out of the conversation already at times

Savvy_Sue

Well, let's hope they can at least sort out the class seating arrangements, and see if they can identify a class buddy for her.

Mumin2017

I hope so seeing her upset this morning was horrible especially when school was a place shed previously loved attending. My main question really is if they dont agree to change her back could i report to the school governors