Daughter....found morning after pill, disappointed. Advice.

ska_lover

alittleworried wrote: »

If you read earlier posts I did say maybe it's best not to bring it up to her. Hysterical nope, perfectly calm had 2 kids by the time I was 19, know what happens. I actually had 3 by 23. Yeah it's been hard, but the bills have been paid.

Yeah, I don't know if she took it on time, said that on the original post. ..hence post advice...which I've taken on board. I don't think I will bring it up, I was only looking for advice. Not looking to made out like some hysterical idiot which I'm not.

Great, glad that has been cleared up

coolcait

alittleworried wrote: »

Thanks again iamumtoone, I know because the label was on the box. Her full name wasn't written in full so I think she got it under the minor ailment scheme Scotland.

alittleworried wrote: »

Badmemory, don't think so since it was a free prescription. Thank you.

alittleworried wrote: »

... it's not the normal morning after pill she has taken, it's the other 5 day one... ....

I don't recall labels being put on the boxes of any of the medicines my family has received through the minor ailment scheme.

Over and above that, I understand that, in Scotland, EllaOne is only available on prescription. You can get that prescription from your GP or a sexual health clinic. It is free (seems odd writing that when - as you will know if you are Scotland - prescriptions are free)

Various publicly available Health Board circulars also make the point that, although EllaOne may usually be prescribed for cases where intercourse took place 3 - 5 days previously, it can be prescribed in cases where intercourse took place 1-3 days previously.

It depends on the assessment of the individual - e.g. for teenagers or depending on where the woman is in her menstrual cycle.

Your daughter has gone to a medical professional who has assessed her individual medical needs, and given her a prescription.

She has acted like an adult. She deserves to be treated like one.

alittleworried

Well my youngest had a prescription from minor aliments only last Saturday and guess what it was on the product/item as well as the bag so guess your wrong. The prescription morning after pill didn't have my daughters full name so never came from doctor, or it would have full name and said Free on it. It can be prescribed but as I already explained due to when she was at college she would only have needed the other tablet, though the other tablet probably/may not have worked. Fully aware prescriptions are free in Scotland.

I wrote I was in Scotland as fully aware England pays.

coolcait

alittleworried wrote: »

Well my youngest had a prescription from minor aliments only last Saturday and guess what it was on the product/item as well as the bag so guess your wrong. The prescription morning after pill didn't have my daughters full name so never came from doctor, or it would have full name and said Free on it. It can be prescribed but as I already explained due to when she was at college she would only have needed the other tablet, though the other tablet probably/may not have worked. Fully aware prescriptions are free in Scotland.

I wrote I was in Scotland as fully aware England pays.

Emergency contraception is not on the list of things covered by the minor ailments scheme.

Just checked several prescription items - for three members of the family - none of the labels says 'Free'.

If the prescription was given by a sexual health clinic, they may not have had your daughter's full name. They may have a privacy policy which means that they simply don't put the patient's full name on the prescription.

Nothing you have said rules out the possibility that your daughter has seen her GP or a sexual health specialist. Much of what you have said actually points towards that having happened.

EllaOne can be prescribed 1-3 days after the woman has had sex - depending on the individual woman's circumstances.

You've convinced yourself that your daughter has had unprotected sex at the festival; you've convinced yourself that she couldn't have had sex at any time since then; you've convinced yourself that she has been prescribed EllaOne because she delayed going to get emergency contraception.

Unless you follow her around everywhere, you cannot really 'know' any of the above.

The medical professional who prescribed the emergency contraception probably 'knows' far more about the reality of the situation than you do.

gettingtheresometime

alittleworried wrote: »

Well done gettingthere, but she's been taking nothing obviously and has had no antibiotics so different situation. We've had plenty chats about contraception as I've had with my other children, as I feel it's important. Well done being knowing the situation, different here.

Ok my post obviously got lost in translation.

I was trying to demonstrate that I didn't appreciate my mum initiating a conversation that involved my sex life.

I appreciate that you want something different for your daughter but you need to chill a little, if you already haven't.

chesky

Actually, the most alarming thing is that you were clearing out plates and cutlery from your daughters' bedroom!

determined_new_ms

it seems to me this situation is triggering some other stuff for you op. Obviously around how difficult it was for you (on many levels) as a teenage parent. I was a teenage parent so I get that.

I think that if she hasn't brought this to you, maybe you should leave it for the time being. Your op post says she has become more secretive recently so implies she would find this discussion intrusive. It sounds like you have done a good job and she is responsible - even if she has been irresponsible! She's not you and so even if she experienced the exact same experiences as you they would be different. She has had different influences in her life.

When my kids were teenagers they didn't want to tell me certain stuff about their lives. Me trying to initiate a conversation they didn't want to discuss was never appreciated. Over the years I learnt better ways to have trickier conversations, so they felt I was on their side rather than being intrusive and judging. My daughter is more open with me but my son let's me know if a topic is none of my business and not up for discussion. He's an adult and gets to choose what parts of his life I'm involved in.

I think the important thing is she knows you are there to support her whatever the situations she finds herself in without judgement or reproach. It would be difficult to do this if she were pregnant and your response is partly about her pregnancy and partly about your own stuff around your earlier life.

FBaby

We can reading posts here when it comes to 18 yo contributing to paying bills etc... when they stay with their parents with clear comments that 'they are adults now so why shouldn't they contribute'. The same applies to the matters we used to have control over. We relinquish that power when they turn 18. It means seeing our kids doing things we don't like, but they have now become their own person before remaining our children.

That doesn't mean we can't have discussions with them and still share view points and advice, but the time by which we can tell them what they should do has gone. You got pregnant early and don't want your DD to be. However, if that's what she wanted, there is nothing you could do about it, so no point getting anxious about it.