parents full time working

Spendless

Re- some time for yourself. Does your son's father not have him at weekend's some times?

Really pleased work came up with a suggestion for you.

Kim_kim

Presumably as you are only doing 20 hours a week, it's only 4 hours a day?
So if you are getting home late I presume you're starting after lunch.
You could do your shopping & housework in the morning after your son has gone to school.
Also try & book all medical appointments early in the day, then you won't need to take leave.
Use a slow cooker for dinner - they are brilliant!
Can your son do his homework with whoever is looking after him after school?

clairec79

Kim_kim wrote: »

Presumably as you are only doing 20 hours a week, it's only 4 hours a day?
So if you are getting home late I presume you're starting after lunch.
You could do your shopping & housework in the morning after your son has gone to school.
Also try & book all medical appointments early in the day, then you won't need to take leave.
Use a slow cooker for dinner - they are brilliant!
Can your son do his homework with whoever is looking after him after school?

No, she's been doing 20 hours a week (during school time) and managing all the appointments, hoousework etc but upping her hours - hence asking for suggestions for ideas to help

Magic_Sister

I worked full time as a single Mum, with no help as DD dad had died. It is hard, but doable. I have three older children too and although their dad had them alternate weekends I had no help during the working week. They all have a strong work ethic, and tho I was always short of time, they are all very proud of what they now call my 'resilience'.
School hols are the hardest without doubt, so that needs thinking about OP.
CAMHS should do after work appt, I always insisted for DD
The appt every few months will need to be a holiday I think.
Do look at your entitlement to unpaid parental leave-
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement
Good luck!

pipkin71

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Something else for you to think about - you'll get maybe four or five weeks of annual leave in the year; your child will have 13+ weeks of holiday in the year. You need robust arrangements to cover the difference, plus there is no guarantee that you'll be able to take all of your annual leave during the school holidays as there may be colleagues who want the same weeks.

Personally, if I were a single parent, I wouldn't work full-time.

I don't have to cover the holidays as Marley is a stay-at-home parent, but it is still tricky to juggle the need for a break as a family with the need to use my annual leave days for our lad's various appointments including school meetings. I know that I could take parental leave, but that is unpaid so it impacts our household income. And as a Mum I feel really guilty going to work when our lad is poorly, even though Marley is home to take care of him, it's just a "Mum" thing.

I work with a colleague who is single mum to a young girl who isn't disabled, for whom finding a childminder or holiday play scheme is easier.. Dad is on the scene and can help when he's in the mood. But she still struggles to stretch her annual leave to cover the school holidays; our employer allows a paid emergency day if our child is poorly, but only the one, after which you're expected to use paid/unpaid leave; and she too has the guilt of not being there all the time for her daughter.

Sorry, probably not the answer you were looking for!

I would agree with this, OP, especially since your child has additional needs.

I didn't work while my children were growing up but can imagine the extra stresses placed on parents, when the children are little, and still need supervision.

It can be stressful now that I am working, and my children pretty much take care of themselves. I work from home but there aren't enough hours to get everything done. To go out to work, and look after your child, with all the difficulties he has, I would seriously consider if this is the right move for you at this moment in time.

I would also agree with getting a cleaner. They can take some if the pressure off, so that you don't feel as you are being stretched in every direction.

Good luck with whatever you decide

pipkin71

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I'm sorry to say this, but it doesn't really sound as if working full time is the right thing for your current situation. It would be hard enough without your son's disability and illness, but taking that into account I think you would exhaust yourself trying to just manage each week!

There is no shame in claiming benefits if that's what you need to do in order to live and care for your child with additional needs.

^^^^^ This.

There is no shame in claiming benefits, where they are needed - at least, there shouldn't be.

Doody

iammumtoone wrote: »

UPDATE

I told work I was withdrawing from applying as I was unable to work full-time. A few days later they approached me to see if I could work 34 hours at times that suited me. I proposed 2 (very) late days and 3 days where I can finish in time to collect from school, they accepted on a trail basis :j

Its still very nearly full time but the fact I can collect from school 3 days makes all the difference, my son will not be happy in childcare for the long hours 2 days but I can't have everything, he will have to get used to it. Its the best I am going to get with still earning a good wage.

I will be putting into practice a lot of the tips on this thread, thanks again everyone.

I am really pleased and can't quite believe my luck. Its going to still be hard as there is no time for me in this situation (it will be a rush every day straight from work to collect him) but it is the best outcome for my son I just have to remember that.

Wonderful news, I've been reading this thread as another ASD mum and was suspecting that going full time in a demanding post was not going to be the best thing for you or your son. Then this on the last page. You must be very wanted, which also gives you a better position in any future negotiations over time off for appointments.

Congratulations

Kim_kim

iammumtoone wrote: »

UPDATE

I told work I was withdrawing from applying as I was unable to work full-time. A few days later they approached me to see if I could work 34 hours at times that suited me. I proposed 2 (very) late days and 3 days where I can finish in time to collect from school, they accepted on a trail basis :j

Its still very nearly full time but the fact I can collect from school 3 days makes all the difference, my son will not be happy in childcare for the long hours 2 days but I can't have everything, he will have to get used to it. Its the best I am going to get with still earning a good wage.

I will be putting into practice a lot of the tips on this thread, thanks again everyone.

I am really pleased and can't quite believe my luck. Its going to still be hard as there is no time for me in this situation (it will be a rush every day straight from work to collect him) but it is the best outcome for my son I just have to remember that.

That's what my daughter does, two long days & 3 short days she can collect them on.