parents full time working

BrassicWoman

I really wish my mum had worked to role model for me. It would have been so much more motivating than just having home cooked dinner on the table - generational thing. She existed to serve, not to be a whole, real person. (YMMV!)

So, no advice as am not a mum - but a cheer for doing an amazing thing

xx

clairec79

How do you do homework?
I don't do much with it to be honest, I will help if they ask (they generally don't - but can be done while I'm doing something else - or could it be done before you get home?

What about dentists/doctors for child?Do you take holiday for this?
I work shifts so book them for when I'm not working (I appreciate this can't be done often in a monday - friday 9-5 job though

Time for yourself to relax - How do you find it. My son does not sleep he is never asleep before 12pm.
We have always had must be in your room after 8 (they can play quietly/read etc till bedtime - occasionally they will stay up downstairs till later if doing something together

House work - where does this fit in when you are either at work or looking after your child(ren).
It's done while the kids are there (or see above for shifts)

Shopping - how do you manage to get things that are needed (my son will not go shopping it stresses him) Food shopping I can order online but what about everything else? Do you order everything online?

Majority is done online

Clubs - this is probably irrelevant in my case as my son dispite me trying to persuade him will not attend clubs but I am hoping this will change in the future. How do you get your child there most start at I guess at 7 do you rush everything to get them ready in time. I am afraid my son does not do rushing

Easy meals on those nights (slow cooker is a godsend) - or pizza which can be done in the oven quickly while they are changing

Also don't overdo it with the clubs only do 1 a week (when he starts comp you may find there are some straight after school he likes which has the added advantage of him being supervised for a little longer and not having to rush as he's already there)


Some things will have to slip - I read once you can only have 2 out of 3 - a tidy house, happy kids and your sanity. I choose to let the housework go (Don't get me wrong it's not filthy but it's not immaculate and that doesn't bother me (some people iron teatowels! life is too short for that)

annandale

I believe you have the right to ask your employer for flexible working hours if you have a child/children. They may not grant it but you do have the right to ask.

annandale

In fact all employees have the right to ask for flexible working hours.

onomatopoeia99

Dentist was on a Saturday, waiting room was always full of families. He was a vicious person born out of wedlock.
Non-urgent doctor appointments were also on Saturday. Anything serious enough to need an urgent one once both parents were back at work full time, one of them came home. They lost the pay for the time they were out of their workplace, obviously.
Shopping was done on a Thursday evening (the one evening the supermarket opened late). Home delivery would be the way to go now.

KxMx

How about persuing that DLA claim after all, with the expectation that it'll be failed and need to go to Tribunal.

The right DLA award would open up Carers Allowance and a small pt job could go on top.

Then at least you have more options.

I hope you're right in that once ft work is a routine your son will cope better.

Because honestly having read your other threads, you are already under immense pressure and adding in less sleep and more stress isn't going to help either of you.

chelseablue

We both work full time and have a 3 year old.

He starts school next September and I must say I'm dreading homework and also wondering when will I have time to do it!

I think the first couple of years its just a reading book and spellings, its the later years it gets more 'interesting'

I finish work at 5:30, would then need to get him from after school club and would be getting in around 6.
Luckily my partner does the cooking, so I would help with homework when I get in. Unless its maths which is totally beyond me, I'll be learning along with him I think

Food shopping I normally go on Sunday or one evening after work (shop in Aldi so no home delivery)

At the moment I do any ironing either early in the morning or when I get in from work


Cleaning is 'ad hoc' shall we say :rotfl:

I cant imagine having more than 1 child, I don't think I'd have enough hours in the day!

onlyroz

I have been a full-time working parent for 12 years and so have reasonable experience.

iammumtoone wrote: »

How do you do homework? I will not get home until 6.30 then will have to sort tea straight away with everything else bath etc not sure where the time comes in for this?

Try and encourage the kids to do their homework as autonomously as possible. Yes, you will answer questions but you will not sit down with them for hours while they do it. This should definitely be possible for secondary aged kids, who should be encouraged to complete work independently as much as possible. For primary aged kids the bulk of homework seems to be reading, spellings and times tables. Times tables can be practiced in the car on the way to school (reciting them together). Spellings can be practiced independently with some help testing them once they've had some time alone. They can read to you while you prepare dinner or do other housework. More involved homework can be tackled at the weekend, but they should still be encouraged to work independently of you wherever possible.

What about dentists/doctors for child? I am not allowed time off for this (only my medical needs) so how do I arrange this, my son needs medical appointments/assessments for his ADHD and upcoming ASD assessment so not just talking about if he gets ill. Do you take holiday for this? this will mean cutting the amount of holiday available to do fun things with him.

How flexible is your employer? Could you, for instance, arrange dental appointments for 9AM on a day during the school holidays, and then arrange to catch up on your hours either from home or by staying late? Are there other friends or relatives that could take them to these appointments?

Time for yourself to relax - How do you find it. My son does not sleep he is never asleep before 12pm. Do you just manage on the occasional 10 minutes here and there when everything is quiet?

My kids are old enough to entertain themselves - we have dinner all together, which is our chance to catch up with each other's days - and I'll do some activities with each child at certain times during the week - but typically once they're off to bed at 9PM (ish) I've got a few glorious hours to myself.

House work - where does this fit in when you are either at work or looking after your child(ren).

The options are:
- Lower your standards. Hoovering and deeper cleans of the kitchen/bathroom etc can wait until the weekend. A wipe down of surfaces is sufficient most days. Laundry is a never-ending battle but I absolutely don't iron anything.
- Pay a cleaner (if finances allow)
- Get the kids to help (paying them if necessary)

Shopping - how do you manage to get things that are needed (my son will not go shopping it stresses him) Food shopping I can order online but what about everything else? Do you order everything online?

I shop at quieter times. Tesco is open 24/7 and our Aldi is open until 10pm. I also do some shopping during my lunch break, e.g. the town I work in has a pretty good fruit and veg market. And what is the "everything else" that you need? And how often do you need to buy these things? E.g. I only go clothes shopping a few times a year, and again I can often pick things up during my lunch break. Most of the kids clothes I pick up at lunch time - occasionally I have to take things back if the sizes are wrong but it's usually fine. If other things are needed then these can be bought at the weekend.

Clubs - this is probably irrelevant in my case as my son dispite me trying to persuade him will not attend clubs but I am hoping this will change in the future. How do you get your child there most start at I guess at 7 do you rush everything to get them ready in time. I am afraid my son does not do rushing

Evening clubs are out of the question. My daughter goes swimming on Saturday mornings, and has gymnastics after school once a week (I'm allowed to work from home two afternoons a week so that I can do the school run on these days).

Child is in year 6. My other worry is secondary school when there is no childcare available but my son is not safe to be left alone in the house. What do others do in this situation?

My son has been letting himself in after school for a year now. He has just started year 8. If your son is not safe to be left alone then perhaps you can look into using a childminder to collect him. The school might also have some after school activities but these would be ad-hoc and would probably only be for an hour or so.

Red-Squirrel_2

I'm sorry to say this, but it doesn't really sound as if working full time is the right thing for your current situation. It would be hard enough without your son's disability and illness, but taking that into account I think you would exhaust yourself trying to just manage each week!

There is no shame in claiming benefits if that's what you need to do in order to live and care for your child with additional needs.

skint_chick

I think it would take a bit of adjusting to work full time but if you get a good routine going then it is manageable.

Dinners - batch cook at the weekend - lasagna, shepherds pie, stews etc then freeze in portion sizes so you can just heat up when you get home. Jacket potatoes with easy toppings to microwave as well.

Also if relatives are looking after him make sure they have a set routine with him. Try and get him to attempt homework before you're home and then go over it together - this is important time to focus on him so he doesn't struggle with you working full time.

Cleaning - is this something you can encourage your son to help with as part of the nightly routine - put toys away, clothes in laundry basket, drying up dishes (if you don't have a dishwasher). Clean the sink and toilet while he's in the bath, rinse the bath while he's putting his pyjamas on.

Choose a Saturday morning club - our local cinema does ASD friendly cinema mornings every month if he won't do clubs yet. Libraries often have kids reading sessions too on Saturdays.

Grocery shopping online, most other stores do click and collect from local collection points these days so you can collect at your leisure outside of busy times. Book appointments as late as possible in the day so you can leave early and make the time up by having shorter lunch breaks.

I think all of it would be a lot easier with a better sleep routine for your son, so perhaps do some research into how you can get him sleeping for 9pm - a strong bedtime routine, no screens, more physical activity to tire him out - if you crack this then you will have time in the evening to do things and will feel better for getting more sleep. Everything is a little easier if you're well rested! Good luck with what you decide.