Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my younger sister a smaller wedding gift?

Bellisima

£500 as a wedding present! My goodness that's a lot! I usually give £50 to £100 depending on whether we are going for the whole day or just the evening do. Give what you can afford and keep the amount quiet!

pippinpuss

Unless you buy off the present list(where price is usually listed) no one should know what you give except the couple involved.

Ian-RS

As indicated above you should have thought about these things to come in the future. If it was me I think I would try and give the same to each, however I wouldn't be putting my self into debt for it. And I also think £500 was very excessive!

tallgirld

Give what you can afford!


My niece is getting married in Florida in November and I will be doing just that....

JayD

Whilst I do understand that this is causing you some concern, it really is a matter of what you can truly afford, and if that is less than £500 so be it.

However, a frank conversation with your sister about your inability to match the previous £500 wedding gift, and how uncomfortable that is making you feel, should help to relieve any tension it might otherwise cause between you.

Honest and open communication between you and your sister is the key to stopping you fretting over this dilemma. Take the bull by the horns and talk to her. I am sure she will be just fine with whatever you give her as a present.

Mojisola

JayD wrote: »

Honest and open communication between you and your sister is the key to stopping you fretting over this dilemma. Take the bull by the horns and talk to her. I am sure she will be just fine with whatever you give her as a present.

And if she isn't and thinks that her present should take priority over your children's needs, then step back and let her strop!

Trina90

Both my siblings would understand in this situation and would be grateful for what I could afford. I, too would understand if it were me at the recieving end. All of us have been through different financial situations and have obviously been brought up the same - I guess it depends on your/your siblings views, and how you were brought up.

In my opinion though, if the sister had a problem with you giving less (or you think thats what shed be thinking) to suit your financial situation, she doesn't deserve it.

crmism

The £500 you gave to your elder sister seems more than generous to me, but maybe it's my age that's kicking in as, when my older brother got married in 1969, all he and his newlywed got from anyone in the family were practical things for their home. That's what my wife and I, and virtually every other young couple, got then but it seems that people's expectations today are much greater and they turn their noses down at basic but essential items like toasters, dinner sets, etc.

You strike me as a victim of modern trends, where society appears to have got carried away with the expense of marriage regardless of how long it lasts, and where successive generations always want to outdo the previous ones. They are digging a very large hole for themselves and those who follow.

I can't tell you how much you give to your younger sister. If you can't afford £500 this time around, so be it. Surely it's the thought that counts?

Malthusian

crmism wrote: »

That's what my wife and I, and virtually every other young couple, got then but it seems that people's expectations today are much greater and they turn their noses down at basic but essential items like toasters, dinner sets, etc.

That's because they already have toasters and dinner sets and who needs two toasters? It's got nothing to do with expectations, unless they specifically ask for £500 in the wedding invitation.

Re the MMD, as with all these questions along the lines of "Should I do something that I don't want to and am not legally, morally or socially obliged to", the answer is no.

Mollyeyre

The clue is in the word 'gift', you give what you can NOT what someone else thinks you should, I hate it when a GIFT becomes an OBLIGATION. She is your sister - if she loves you she will not care whether it is £5 or £500