Money Moral Dilemma: Should I contribute to my grandfather's new garden?

Doreeny

Presuming Grandad has chosen to have his garden made over and chosen some of his favorite plants you could contribute. I expect he would sooner have people visiting and doing some gardening and keeping him company for a while but everyone does not have time these days. It would be a shame if it caused family rifts and arguments. Cuttings and seeds could be shared to remember him if he does not benefit for long. I have shrubs and plants from several deceased members of our families that regularly bring back memories.

Red-Squirrel_2

Malthusian wrote: »

How do you spend thousands of pounds on a council house garden? Has the Daily Mail been informed? Is Joanna Lumley going to design a bridge to go over the duck pond?

Landscaping is insanely expensive, even for small gardens.

Tiger_greeneyes

So there's no point ever buying presents for anyone because they'll all be dead one day? Maybe your grandfather should cut you out of his will because you'll be dead one day too?

You have a grandfather who is obviously loved by the whole family and therefore has put love and time and energy into the family. You've benefited from his mere existence. Cough up, spend more time with him and be grateful you still have him.

Robin9

Gissafreebe wrote: »

So if he enjoys his garden ... I can think of no better pressie as when you get to that age you probably have everything you need.

A wonderful present - better than a pair of socks.

jane_roberts

I see your dilemma. I would politely decline to chip in with the others plans but instead, liaise with them about their designs then buy a few statement pot plants, real showy numbers, to enhance and fit in with their plans. That way, when the worst happens, they can be easily removed before the new tenants get the property.

Marvel1

Tiger_greeneyes wrote: »

So there's no point ever buying presents for anyone because they'll all be dead one day?

Also the fact most of the time they are rarely used.

menshevik

Having read the replies the character of the respondents becomes far more interesting than the question. Switch the age aspect around - if the hat were to be passed round to contribute to a family member's wedding and someone commented that half of all marriages end in divorce would the question be 'why contribute to something that may not last very long'?

phillw

thorsoak wrote: »

If you begrudge contributing to a present from which your family thinks your grandfather would derive much pleasure then don't give.

There seems to be some debate about how much pleasure.

"While this is a lovely idea and sure to bring him some pleasure "

With these big gesture gifts, it's normally the giver who gets the most pleasure. The receiver didn't choose it and has to pretend that it was a well thought out gift.

We clubbed together to buy mum a flat screen tv & she spends so long in front of it that I'm sure she gets a lot of pleasure out of that. But it's hundreds rather than thousands & it's something she owns.

Maybe just give him the cash.

menshevik wrote: »

Switch the age aspect around - if the hat were to be passed round to contribute to a family member's wedding and someone commented that half of all marriages end in divorce would the question be 'why contribute to something that may not last very long'?

It's slightly different. He isn't choosing having the garden done, so the major risk is that he hates what you do to his garden. If he dies then the next tenant gets the benefit, the wedding can't be enjoyed by the next punter.

But I wouldn't contribute money to someones wedding. Firstly if you can't afford to get married then you shouldn't do it. Secondly the less money you spend, the higher the chance you'll stick together.

Ohnonotagain_2

Does he actually want this done? Or is it some family busybody's "great idea"?

Do-gooders often have a lot to answer for.

I will never forget seeing the tiny colourful gardens of people in sheltered accommodation rotovated and grassed over "because they will soon be too old to look after them".

JayD

If this is something your grandfather wants and will enjoy, then of course you should chip in and be pleased you have contributed to a special present that he really wanted.

It seems it is going to be his main present from everyone else anyway, so do you really want to be outside of, what is a lovely family gesture and hand over your own separate gift - just because you begrudge someone else the pleasure of it after your grandfather has passed away?

So unless, you truly believe that this is not an ideal gift for your grandfather, and you have a much better gift idea in mind, then of course you should chip in!

If you want to add something extra to your financial contribution, as a more personal gesture, you could offer to come round some times and help to keep his new garden in good shape for him. And that would be something only HE would benefit from.