Money Moral Dilemma: Should I contribute to my grandfather's new garden?

happyinflorida

What a complete waste of money.

To spend thousands on a garden make over that he doesn't even own seems ridiculous to me.

In this day and age where there are so many homeless on the street, I'd look at spending the money on a charity that your grandfather supports instead - discuss this idea with him.

Not many live that long, my dad died at 81 - many die a lot earlier.

Silly to waste so much money on something like this.

flowerpotGRANNY

It sounds like your grandad enjoys his garden,
give him the pleasure he deserves and chip in,

pearl123

I tell grandad that I was saving for the future. I would the offer to buy a rose, or a plant or tree as a gift.

thorsoak

Would you begrudge contributing to a party to celebrate your grandfather's 80th birthday where masses of alcohol was consumed - and then p****ed up the wall? How much pleasure would that give your grandfather?
that
If you begrudge contributing to a present from which your family thinks your grandfather would derive much pleasure then don't give. A present given grudgingly is not given with love. So if you can't give with a loving heart - forget it. But don't make a big deal about the cost of it and spoil it for your grandfather and the other contributors to the present.

gaving7095

Aylesbury_Duck wrote: »

A coffin or headstone, presumably.

LOL good one XD

Yes, contribute. Presumably the amount you give will be more-or-less up to you so give what you're comfortable with & be happy that your grandfather will get the gift which he (hopefully) wants.

tgroom57

I cringe at the garden makeover programs on tv- and although mine needs serious attention I would not like someone else to 'design' me a garden ! I also hate the rise of 'group buys' where a few decide what to get and rope another bunch into paying -hen parties included.

I'd pay for a gardener for the next year, but not a Grand Makeover. Besides, where will your Grandpa go while the makeover is in progress?

tastyfish

Ames wrote: »

People don't actually think this is real, do they? I thought we'd agreed ages ago that the MMDs are made up, hence them always having a slightly unpalatable money saving/value for money angle.

And nearly each time MSE points to the original post or the OP pops up. Tbh I get bored of people whinging about these posts that they're not genuine. I'm not sure what they're trying to achieve by doing so. If you dont want to reply, ignore it. It really is that simple!

Actually, what is wrong with this dilemma? There is an actual risk (irrespective of age but the older someone gets the greater that risk?) that someone else may benefit. Isn't the point of this dilemma to perhaps consider a gift where only he will benefit? That woukd be my answer. Or ask him and if he really would like a garden makeover then do it and if he pops his clogs the next day at least he died knowing you made him happy.

SandraDJ

My dad started saying in his 70s that it wasn't worth getting anything new because of his age. He only started to decline when he reached 93, and died not long after his 94th birthday!


You can't tell.


Does it have to be thousands? Can't the family do the makeover together?


There's not enough information. Maybe the cost is in a summer house, which would cost thousands.

bye_bye_band_G

silvercar wrote: »

Possibly because they are flaunted around social media and the weekly email.

'Flaunted' has very negative connotations. As an outsider who comes to MMD from links on the weekly email, and this is my only interaction on the forum, it makes me feel that I'm not welcome in your cosy regulars club.

On the actual MMD (which, if you don't like you should ignore and move on instead of complaining that it doesn't fit with YOUR idea of what the MSE forum should be), I was in two minds about what my opinion was, till I read posts saying that a party/holiday etc etc as a present would also result in nothing that lasted long term, and everyone would contribute to that happily and that made my mind up that it's the correct answer.

Malthusian

Tell whoever has appointed themselves matriarch/patriarch and decided on behalf of the entire family what they're going to buy grandfather that it's a lovely idea but you've already bought him a present. Then buy him whatever you think he'd like. Like a normal person.

You can hedge your bets by chipping in a tenner as "all you can afford", then if he is absolutely delighted at the thought of having a garden that cost thousands you haven't completely cut yourself out of the group hug.

How do you spend thousands of pounds on a council house garden? Has the Daily Mail been informed? Is Joanna Lumley going to design a bridge to go over the duck pond?