friend gone on hols with younger woman

Avoriaz

Scarlett1 wrote: »

Is that what you were doing on your anniversay ? :grouphug: congrats :beer:

At our age? :eek:

Don't be ridiculous.

The only hot thing at night these days is a mug of Ovaltine.



PS, don't you believe it.

sarymclary

I'm afraid to say that your friend was completely in the wrong here. More than likely due to his inexperience of dating after being married, I would suspect.

Was this lady in a financial position to have funded this weekend on her own? Was she perhaps being polite by accepting whatever he'd booked, not being able to afford to pay for 2 single rooms, and not wanting to make him incur more expense (it sounds like a rather extravagant weekend if it's costing close to a thousand pounds). Perhaps she's never been treated to something as lovely as this before, and it was too good an opportunity to have a great birthday to pass up. Chances are that she won't have known how to approach the subject of the double room (sometimes they can mean 2 beds by double, it's not always called twin you know), and since he suggested the double, felt she'd have to handle it as she ended up doing, rather than speaking to him beforehand (out of embarrassment, or fear he'd cancel the weekend away). Since they've had such a nice time without sleeping together, it sounds like she's been a good companion all the same.

However, and this is the serious part, your friend misconstrued a kiss with a green light to sex. Is he aware that they could have been having the snog, in the double room, semi-naked, and that still wouldn't have been the green light to sex? He's lucky he didn't try to pressurise her, or encourage her to take it further, and he's also lucky she had the 'you're just a friend' speech before getting into the bed, because he could have been calling you from the local police station for assault!

I reckon this is all due to his inexperience of dating and her age. He probably felt like a dog with 2 tails knowing he was going away with a young lady half his age, and now he'll be returning home with his tail well and truly between his legs.

Perhaps you should counsel your friend to stick to dating women closer to his own age, with similar life experience and expectations. They'll be more confident about asking, and letting him know what they want, whether it's just a companion for social gatherings, just a bit of fun (including uncomplicated sex), or a serious, romantic relationship. He might like to get out there on several dates via a dating website, which may not necessarily lead to a meaningful relationship, but it's good experience. Generally speaking most people still tend to meet their partner via mutual friends, or at a random meeting (social occasion - or carpark in my case)!

Your friend should never misconstrue a kiss, or several kisses as a sign of more to come. I had a similar experience in my mid-20's when I was invited to stay at a mutual friend's house when the bride's house was too chaotic for me to stay at (in the run up to the wedding). This chap had a 3 bed house I was told, so saw no harm staying as we'd met before. We'd even had a quick kiss goodnight after a social night out with a group of friends weeks before. So I was stunned when he showed me into my room for the night and told me he liked the right side of the bed, so to go on the left! I was stunned, but also in a very awkward position that I'd never been in before. I was his guest, but now expected to be his shag for the night!

Maybe I'd given off the wrong signals? I took a bottle of wine with me to his house as a gesture of good manners, was this wrong, or perhaps just accepting to stay was all the green light he'd needed.

If your mate is just desperate to get laid, he should have gone to the local nightclub, or pub and he'd have probably had more luck for the price of a few drinks!:beer:

Running_Horse

Are they back yet?

Did she give in to his sulking seduction technique?

Oh go on...pleeeeease. I've spent all this money on you.

dmg24

The title of this thread disturbs me - why is the age of either party relevant?

I often share a bed with male friends, mainly in order to reduce the cost of separate rooms, but also because I like to have someone next to me. Often they will pay for the room because they earn a lot more than me.

I also tend to date older men. I am 29, and going out with somebody fifteen years older than me is not unusual.

Does that make me a gold digger or a tease? x

Jet

I think the attitude of "i'm paying for you to have a nice time, so you owe me sex" stinks.

Paying for sex is called prostitution. If he doesn't like her as a friend and he isn't happy to spend time with her then why is he with her?

Perhaps she thought that she might develop feelings for him while they were away but then they didn't (perhaps she picked up on the vibe that he only wants her for sex).

And I think the age difference is irrelevant.

Acc72

dmg24 wrote: »

Does that make me a gold digger or a tease? x

On the very limited information you have provided, I would answer "possibly" to the former and "probably" to the latter.

Please do not be offended - you did ask

cazziebo

Acc72 wrote: »

On the very limited information you have provided, I would answer "possibly" to the former and "probably" to the latter.

Please do not be offended - you did ask

Not fair! DMG - I think this shows you are mature and honest. (Although prefer them younger myself....!)

melancholly

i feel a bit bad for the guy - in the girl's position, i would never agree to share a bed with someone (who was paying for the whole weekend!) if i wasn't 100% sure about it, especially after only knowing them for a short space of time. it screams that sex is likely - it shouldn't be expected, but seriously, she had to have an idea that this wasn't going to be platonic! she could have put herself in a very difficult position if your friend wasn't a nice guy. (i'm not saying that in situations like this that the girl is responsible if it gets ugly, but it often doesn't take too much forethought to avoid the situation happening in the first place). all she needed to do was make it clear in advance that a twin room or separate rooms would have been a better option.

i'm not sure what to read into the comment about your friend never being able to get beyond friendship with a woman.... if he's only been on the market 6 months, how many women has he attempted relationships with? it's difficult to judge but it does sound a bit like desperation, which is never attractive.... i might be reading too much into that!

dmg24

Acc72 wrote: »

On the very limited information you have provided, I would answer "possibly" to the former and "probably" to the latter.

Please do not be offended - you did ask

But surely if I was a tease these guys would try it on with me?

If I was a gold digger, I would go for a great deal more than a night in a hotel!

If I did the same thing with another woman, would I be a gold digger or a tease then?! I don't see the difference.

maxfactor_3

Meloncholly I couldnt agree with you more.We thought this girl was just naive but it turns out she,s a bit of a loony.
My friend had a word with her friend and she said she was a bit not right and had been in the priory for drugs etc.coke ecstacy etc.
I said to my friend not to say anything to her about it not being what he expected.
He went on a romantic boat ride and she wouldnt even hold his hand.
I told .
Well thanks for your help.