Does he like me does he not? opinions please!

Jacko_amz

Kelpie i am quite offended by that comment, I left a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship in early January and it has left me feeling quite vulnerable and fragile. I struggle with my self-esteem.

I don't believe i am coming across desperate at all as i see him once a week and don't talk to him that often. I am still open to meeting others and am quite social!

unholyangel

kelpie35 wrote: »

Have you no self respect?

You sound as if you are lonely and desperate.

Join some clubs or meet-up groups where you will hopefully find true friends.

I don't think its desperation or being lonely. Probably just due to their previous views of their relationship being smashed to pieces by the revelation of him seeing someone else.

People don't want to believe that they were duped so completely, that it was all a lie/fake. So we will often look for validation that we weren't completely duped, that there was some truth to it, to make ourselves feel better.

Eric_the_half_a_bee

Jacko_amz wrote: »

Kelpie i am quite offended by that comment, I left a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship in February and it has left me feeling quite vulnerable and fragile. I struggle with my self-esteem.

I don't believe i am coming across desperate at all as i see him once a week and don't talk to him that often. I am still open to meeting others and am quite social!

Don't worry, you are not coming across as desperate to me or I suspect most readers. But find someone better. You've only been alone for a few months, there are plenty of nice caring blokes out there.

rach_k

It sounds to me like he (wrongly) assumed it was just a bit of fun before, then when you got upset he realised you wanted more than he wanted to give. Now he's split up with his girlfriend, he probably has more time for friends so he's spending time with you again but it sounds like he's doing his best to make sure you don't get the wrong impression again. So no, he's not interested in a relationship with you but probably does want a friendship. I disagree with other posters that he's being unfair - he's making it clear and I think that is quite fair!

Geoff1963

I'm sure he likes you, enjoys your company more than being alone, and interacting with someone of the opposite sex is emotionally rewarding.
I think what you really mean is, can I trust him to ever be committed to me ?

It works both ways : if you are happy with what you have, and are looking elsewhere for romance, then keep on with it. You could ask him for a "friends with benefits" arrangement, to get him to "scratch the itch you can't reach" as it were.

Then, if you want to dump him, you can use my favourite line from the film Staying Alive :
"Guys like you aren't relationships, they're exercise"

svain

kelpie35 wrote: »

Have you no self respect?

You sound as if you are lonely and desperate.

Join some clubs or meet-up groups where you will hopefully find true friends.

And you sound as if you are clueless

svain

All this ... "he had his chance and blew it" ... Is absolute rubbish. People can have very happy and long term relationships if given a second chance. He may not of been aware how serious you were about him. I say give it another go and be clear what you want. A chance of been happy is worth taking the gamble.

Jacko_amz

Thanks Svain.

I think i am going to just continue the friendship and also keep my options open to meeting other people, there will be no chasing from me. I suppose only time will tell

Fireflyaway

I think based on what you say I agree with your friends. He had the chance of a relationship with you but chose to go out with someone else. How will you feel when he finds his next girlfriend? I think he does like you as a friend and was happy to enjoy the additional benefits but doesn't see you as potential girlfriend for whatever reason. I know some people are fine with that and sleep with friends when between relationships, but for me personally I'd feel a bit used. You managed without the guy for 17 years so I'd say don't bother with him in any way.

Pollycat

You were just someone he had sex with.
Then, when someone he fancied more came along, he wasn't interested in you.

He's just not into you

I can't understand why you would even want to remain friends with someone who would treat you like that.