Mrs S, family life and debt

MrsSave

Just adding to this, the car went in for an MOT a few weeks ago :eek: The bill was just short of £500 :eek: My car is now 11 years old so I'm worried it will start to be one thing after another. I'm hoping it will be good this year and will see how the next MOT turns out. If it's another bad one I'm going to have to consider changing it :eek:

Ds1's birthday will be this Summer and he mentioned earlier about a party. I'd already spoken with Mr S about this one and we'd decided he had the choice of a big party (like last year........around a million kids :eek: ) or we could go away for a couple of nights and to Legoland as he's asked quite a few times recently about it. So, we spoke with ds1 and gave him those options and he quickly forgot about the party and is so excited about Legoland and staying in a hotel (it'll be something along the lines of a Premier Inn but he loves it!!). I did mention a couple more times that this would mean no big party and he is totally fine with it. Last year all his friends had parties, and I've noticed this year far fewer are so I don't feel mean. I have said we'll either have a tea here with his grandparents or go out for a bar meal with them to celebrate as well as the trip away.

We had a BBQ tonight, but managed it with food that was in the freezer leftover from the last BBQ so cost was very low (popped to the shop for a couple of nibbles!!). It's also made a little extra room in the freezer which was much needed :rotfl:

MrsSave

I picked up my food shop from Tesco this morning, and that came to £47.61. I also popped into Asda to pick up some shorts for the boys, and them treated them to a tshirt each as ds2 saw an Avengers one and he is totally crazy about the Superheroes at the moment. He's too young for the films, etc. But it's the thought of those superheroes. It was in the 2 for £7 section so I picked up a tshirt for ds2 as well. I ended up spending just over £41 in Asda, but that included a pair of sandals and a hat for me, as we as 2 pair of shorts each and the 2 t shirts.

We took a picnic out today, so used what was in the house and just ordered a multipack of crisps with the food shop to go with it so not too expensive. We did then eat out afterwards, but this was planned and I'd budgeted £40 for it. I spent £37.93 out of the £40.

I've decided to re evaluate my soa. I have almost £2000 coming in each month, and still struggle. Today has been an expensive day, and it's a bank holiday weekend so probably not the time to say it but every month I'm struggling to save anything and have nothing left over from the spending account.

I see so many people around here who earn similar to me and they seem to be have nice cars, eat takeaways, go on holiday and wear nice clothes. I know I shouldn't judge others and it's probably jealousy, but I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong!!

JoJoC

Hi MrsSave,

Just wanted to touch on your last point about having a good amount of money coming in but still struggling to save...

I'm probably in a similar situation to you - on paper, the amount of money that my husband and I bring in every month is fantastic and we should be living a fairly carefree spending lifestyle but we don't! For me, it's a combination of paying off debts, having really high childcare bills and getting caught out with things that we need/ parties that we're going to where we need to buy a gift that I haven't budgeted for etc. Also, a lot of our bills are high compared to some (e.g. council tax alone is £247p/m) so that's a massive chunk compared to my sister, for example, who's council tax is £90p/m.

I know I could be better with savings pots and just generally saying no, but we genuinely don't eat out often so if we're invited out once or twice per month I just don't want to say no!

Have you taken a look at a month as an example and break down every penny that was spent? That might give you a good idea of where your money is going and how you can free up more income for luxuries/ savings?

Also, i think it's easy to see on the surface of things how well people seem to be doing and be envious of their holidays/ clothes etc, but how do you know that they're not sitting there with debt to pay for these things? Or, for example, a friend of mine inherited his house so doesn't have a mortgage to pay...that's why he has a brand new BMW every other year! It's all relative.

But I totally get where you're coming from - I do often have the same thoughts.

MrsSave

Thank you for taking the time to write that post JoJoC. Everything you say is correct, and I was actually sweeping the kitchen floor earlier thinking about this and I wondered whether the people I think like this of, whether they're actually thinking similar thoughts about me. No one knows the full story of our debts, how hard we budget each month, how I shop around. They see us heading off on holidays/days out (UK, not abroad) and are probably wondering how we can afford it. Our days out are usually based around where Tesco vouchers can take us, eating out is usually in cheaper places with money off offers, and breaks away usually meal staying in something like a Premier Inn so that we can spend a little more out.

As you said it is all relative.

MrsSave

Mr S and I had our first counselling session today (and it was £30 as the first session is cheaper!!). The lady seemed lovely and we both left thinking we would like to continue with it, so have our next session in a fortnight.

Other than that it has been a nsd :j I've eaten awfully over the weekend so have tried to be far healthier today. I'd love to lose a couple more pounds before we head away on Sunday.

We seem to have a blocked toilet, and I cannot fix it!!! Mr S was here for ages earlier and couldn't sort it. I am a little worried that ds2 may have put something down there :eek: It's take 2 tomorrow and thankfully we have another toilet :rotfl:

Other than that I have done loads of laundry today (though the ironing basket is full once again!!) and took the empty bottles to the bottle bank.

JoJoC

No problem - it's nice to know that you're not alone MrsS. You're probably right - I guarantee there's someone in your circle that thinks the exact same about you. It's so easy to assume everyone else has it easy but not many people know what goes on under the surface.

I'm pretty sure that my sister thinks I'm loaded because she knows what we earn but if she were to look at our finances in detail, I'm sure she'd feel a lot different! We have potential to lead a really comfortable lifestyle...just need to get shot of these debts and prioritise going forward! haha

Glad the counselling session went well today, it's lovely to see that you're both trying

MrsSave

Yesterday was a nsd. I went to work and then spent the evening ironing. How fun :rotfl: We're going away for a few nights from Sunday so trying to make sure all clothes are washed, dried and ironed. We're off to Center Parcs so will stay nearby in a Premier Inn the night before and then will pick up a food shop from the local Asda on the way to save a few pennies. We have booked a couple of meals out, but this has all been budgeted for. I'm hoping we manage to bring some money back, which will then go towards ds1's birthday trip.

I usually do a top up shop on a Thursday, but I think I can get away without this week. I've got £10 budgeted for the top up shop, so that will be used to put towards the money we're giving as a gift for the wedding we're going to this weekend. I figured £20 between us should be fine as we're not close to the couple at all. We will need a little drinks money as well, but that will come from the Spends pot.

The toilet is sorted (still not 100% sure what was wrong!). At least I didn't need to ask for help from someone who was going to charge money :rotfl: One less thing to worry about now!

MrsSave

Weekend!! And holiday starts tomorrow Premier Inn tomorrow night followed by Center Parcs on Monday. Sooo excited. First things first, though.....I'm off in less than an hour to slimming club to weigh. Fingers crossed I've lost something :rotfl: Weight loss has been slow over the past month, but at least I haven't gained anything (until I get back from the holiday!!). I must start losing again once I'm back!

I'm off to a wedding party with Mr S tonight. I had said initially I wasn't going, but decided to go along a couple of weeks ago as things were improving between us (and a lot of people still doesn't know that we've separated!). I'm wearing a dress I already had in the wardrobe and shoes that I already had so no money spent on clothes. I do next to take cash out for my part of the gift, and for drinks. It won't be a late night though so should be too bad!!

I can hear ds2 stirring (not bad for a Saturday morning - ds1 is still fast asleep) so I'd better get moving!! Happy Saturday!!

MrsSave

Holiday time!! We stayed at a Premier Inn last night, and ate at the Brewers Faye attached. I have a Brewers Faye bonus card (I think it's fab.....points build up pretty quickly!) so we had a voucher for 2 free children's meals. We're at the state where the 1 year old is eating more than the 4 years old (I remember ds1 eating everything in sight at the same age), so both have children's meals now. That saved £8 from the bill. 2 adults and 2 child meals, 2 sides and drinks came to less than £34. We do have a lunch booked at one of the Center Parcs restaurants today and I'm pretty sure that it will cost a lot more :eek:

Anyway, I've updated YNAB this morning so that we know exactly where we are. We're picking up a food shop from Asda later as we'll eat in most of the time. We're stopping at a Wetherspoons for breakfast this morning. I find the Brewers Fayre breakfasts over priced and not all that tasty!!

I've checked the accounts this morning, and our mortgage has just fallen under £90,000. :j It's finally in the £80,000s. I haven't managed to over pay on it this month frustratingly, but I'm hoping to next month.

MrsSave

Over half way through our holiday now. I have 2 totally shattered children :rotfl: They're having such a fantastic time, though. Money wise we're not doing too bad!! We ate breakfast out on Monday, and that came to just over £15 for the 4 of us. Lunch was expensive as it was at one of the CP restaurants, but at £47 ish for 4 I don't think it was too bad. We also ate out Tuesday night, which came to around £57. Other than that we've eaten in (we picked up an Asda food shop Monday). We picked up a big box of variety ice lollies with the Asda shop which was around £3 for 30. That's saving loads on the cost of ice creams here (especially with the lovely weather we have been having!).

Ynab is up to date with all our holiday spends. I'm hoping we'll have a little left over from our budget which will go towards ds1's birthday treat which is a trip to Legoland.

I've been thinking about a way to save a little more as that's where I'm struggling at the moment. I'm thinking of tweaking the penny a day challenge (as I'm almost half way through the year!) to even figures only. I should have saved over £300 by the end of November. Will look into it once I'm back home.