How do I cope living next door to this awful neighbour?

loveka

Trying to keep it brief...

We have lived in our house for 18 years,during which time the boundary features had remained the same, until...

Last year a new neighbour moved in who disputed the boundary in the back garden. He wanted to build an extension and said the fence gave us 8 inches wide more garden than we should have. Despite getting a sworn statement from the people we bought from in 1999 that the fence was like that when they bought in 1996 he wouldn't let it go, kept threatening us with legal action etc. In the end we agreed to split the 8 inch strip on the advice from our solicitor about not getting in to a boundary dispute.

He then built his extension (4 inches wider than it would have been had we not split the land with him. The extension is about 45 feet wide) without a party wall agreement. He destroyed our flower bed, and took our plants and planted them in his garden! Again, our solicitor said there was nothing we could do apart from get an injunction which would cost £3,000. Police wouldn't be interested in the theft of some rose bushes. Etc.

We decided to move as its unbearable living next door to someone who has had such little respect for us. Put the house on the market, got an offer in March.

While we were away on holiday in April he took down the shared fence in the front garden and replaced it with a waist high fence with 5 foot posts. He also dug up all the plants and trees which were on his side of the boundary (obviously that bit is fine, he was within his rights to do that) which had formed part of the boundary feature. So there was a 10 foot length of the boundary where our gardens were open to each other.

We decided not to object to him removing the fence as we were selling, we had already had to declare a dispute with him on the forms.

On the day of exchange our seller pulled out, so the whole chain collapsed. The housing market is dead here at the moment, nothing is shifting at all. We are also 10k out of pocket due to the sale falling through. All the viewings we have had since have mentioned the very short fence and how there is no privacy due to the gap in the fence.

Last week we put up a fence, wholly on our property about 3 inches from the fence he put up, in order to try and block him out of our lives and give us privacy. Also, thinking it might help us get a sale. Since the better weather we have had his 4 children playing football, screaming at the top of their lungs in the front garden, which has also put some potential buyers off.

Today he sends an email threatening us with legal action and saying we should have consulted him before putting the fence up. He has no legal leg to stand on, but as we learnt last time that really doesn't matter to him.

I feel trapped living next door to a psychopathic bully. I am already on anti depressants due to the 6 months of hell he put us through last year. We have tried to sell, but just can't at the moment. I don't think I can bear it. I need a coping strategy.

Sorry for the essay.

prosaver

your allowed to put up a fence 6 foot high on your property ..nought he / she can do ..simples ...its the law

macman

The problem is that you conceded to him before, and so now he thinks he can bully you into submission again this time. He has no case whatsoever, unless your fence is over 6ft high, as pointed out above.
Just reply to the email saying that the fence is on your land and that you have no need to advise him or get his approval for it. If he wishes to take legal action then he is welcome to do so (he won't). End by saying that you will not discuss the matter further.
Since you have already had to declare the dispute, the damage is done, so no point in worrying about that.

another_casualty

Maybe you could let the place out to the council ??
Sorry to hear about this.

moneyistooshorttomention

He is harassing you pure and simple - but I'm guessing it's not the type of harassment you could use the Protection from Harassment Act to deal with (but it could be worth checking just in case).

Sounds like you need to go on an assertiveness training course in all seriousness. They usually last a day or two and don't cost that much. The mistake was to give way to him in the first place.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and you shouldnt even have gone as far as getting those sworn statements about the boundary in the first place. Just said and kept on saying and kept on and on and on stating very firmly "This is where it is - it has been here since so-and-so date" and walked in your front door and ignored him.

Why on earth didnt you go into his garden and take back your stolen plants?:eek: and btw I've seen police take an interest in someone's garden plants before now - so why did you believe the person who told you that the police wouldnt take an interest in your stolen plants?

After the way things have gone so far - he has just walked straight over you at every turn with bullying/thieving/etc.

I guess the only thing you can do now is think "Better late than never" and learn how to be more assertive with him now. Just tell him firmly how things really are any time he starts on and then walk in your front door - no matter how much he is continuing to try and "talk at" you.

Right now - keep that fence up and ignore him. Walk away from him any time he starts up his bullying.

Davesnave

loveka wrote: »

Since the better weather we have had his 4 children playing football, screaming at the top of their lungs in the front garden, which has also put some potential buyers off.

I need a coping strategy.

Children shouting and screaming in a garden is pretty normal, especially in the holidays.

The first step of the coping strategy is to separate the controllable things from those that cannot be controlled and wouldn't be classed as abnormal. Then deal with the rest, which in this case is an aggressive email.

I would reply very briefly to the effect that on the matter of the new fence there is nothing to consult on or discuss. Then I'd plant some good strong shrubs behind it to reinforce the message.

PS take pictures now of the two fences in case he takes his away and then says yours is in the 'wrong place.'

moneyistooshorttomention

Good strong shrubs with thorns on.

Now what was that very vigorous rose you mentioned the other day Dave? Kiftsgate Rose.

I checked for info. on it - and boy is it vigorous and thorny and capable of coping with not a lot of sun etc etc. It's the Sumo Warrior of roses I could see.

Sicard

We lived next door to a bully and there's not much you can do. Apart from many nasty things he used to chat to some neighbours telling lies. So in the end I applied for some !!!!!! mags with his name on them addressed to the neighbours. Eventually the neighbours all ignored him and he moved away. Karma.

stator

Get a proper CCTV system installed. High Definition like AHD.
Also plant a nice row of lleylandi on the edge of your border. That should screen him out.

Mojisola

loveka wrote: »

In the end we agreed to split the 8 inch strip on the advice from our solicitor about not getting in to a boundary dispute.

He destroyed our flower bed, and took our plants and planted them in his garden! Again, our solicitor said there was nothing we could do apart from get an injunction which would cost £3,000. Police wouldn't be interested in the theft of some rose bushes. Etc.

As well as the other good advice, change your solicitor.

moneyistooshorttomention

..and, if you're not going to take your plants back, then I'd at least be making sure they don't have them either (ie who would want dead plants?;)).