How do I cope living next door to this awful neighbour?

loveka

We did take the plants back!

We actually spoke to 3 solicitors who said the same thing. Judges hate boundary disputes and often don't award costs. Even where they do, getting the costs back can take a long time. We were told it would cost 30k for each side. We just didn't have the money.

Our legal insurance wouldn't pay because they said the value of the land wasn't proportionate to the legal costs to keep it.

We were stuck. We kept saying no, the boundary is where it is. His solicitor wrote to us saying they were starting proceedings against us for delaying the building of his extension. Yes it was dreadful bullying. My partner gave in to him, I was furious. We nearly split up over it actually.

The only way to stop someone once they start building is to get an injunction apparently.

Being bullied is awful, I just want to get away from him
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happyandcontented

Surely your Land Registry plot map showed the boundary?

loveka

That's the problem! Land Registry maps show only a general boundary, and the scale is such that it's impossible to be exact in terms of measurements. Most boundary disputes arise because 1 person says the plan says something different to what is on the ground.

Land Registry even have a disclaimer on the website.

stator

I sympathise with your situation, some people are just a nightmare to deal with.

In the future there are a coupld of steps you could have taken that your solicitor should have advised you to take straight away. The first is to propose mediation. If you do this in writing and your neighbour refuses, it will look very bad for him in any future court case and it's more likely that the judge will award costs against him.

The secound thing would have been for you both to agree to a determined boundary, decided by an independent land surveyor. He comes out and takes measurements and decides exactly where the boundary is, this is then lodged with the land registry and forms the exact boundary, thus solving any future disputes. It might be worth doing this anyway as it would provide reassurance to any future buyers of your house that there can't be any disputes in the future. http://www.dispute-mediation.co.uk/boundary_title_plan_surveys.aspx

In your situation I would be watching my neighbour like a hawk. Reporting anything dodgey to the council. I'd probably check his car(s) have valid MOT and Tax as well.

Davesnave

loveka wrote: »

We were stuck. We kept saying no, the boundary is where it is. His solicitor wrote to us saying they were starting proceedings against us for delaying the building of his extension. Yes it was dreadful bullying. My partner gave in to him, I was furious. We nearly split up over it actually.

Looking on the bright side, now the neighbour has built the extension where they have, it would be a great party wall to cheaply add an extension to your house from.

Definite selling point, I'd say. :rotfl:

loveka

stator wrote: »

I sympathise with your situation, some people are just a nightmare to deal with.

In the future there are a coupld of steps you could have taken that your solicitor should have advised you to take straight away. The first is to propose mediation. If you do this in writing and your neighbour refuses, it will look very bad for him in any future court case and it's more likely that the judge will award costs against him.

The secound thing would have been for you both to agree to a determined boundary, decided by an independent land surveyor. He comes out and takes measurements and decides exactly where the boundary is, this is then lodged with the land registry and forms the exact boundary, thus solving any future disputes. It might be worth doing this anyway as it would provide reassurance to any future buyers of your house that there can't be any disputes in the future. http://www.dispute-mediation.co.uk/boundary_title_plan_surveys.aspx

In your situation I would be watching my neighbour like a hawk. Reporting anything dodgey to the council. I'd probably check his car(s) have valid MOT and Tax as well.

Yes, we suggested both those things. He refused.

In the end we split the land with him. We have a document which outlines the boundary. When we 'sold' the house all parties accepted this document as an indication of the boundary.

To give the full sorry tale would be pages and pages long. He is very vindictive and has told us he will punish us for not just giving him the land he wanted. He said he would stop us getting an extension to our house by eg insisting on the most expensive party wall surveyor he could find. This worked as we would have been on a very tight budget. Yet he didn't get a party wall award himself!

He is wealthy unfortunately.

It's more how I can move on now I'm stuck here that is my problem. I feel very bitter about what he put us through, and now he has started the nasty emails again it has brought it all back. I thought I would be 250 miles away starting a new life, but no. It feels like I'm trapped.

Davesnave

Your neighbour isn't responsible for the the housing market. How long have you been selling?

Is there any way you could get yourself a new email address and then destroy the old one, so his mails bounce back, undeliverable? Bit of work, sorting the admin to others, but I'd do it.

[Deleted User]

Mojisola wrote: »

As well as the other good advice, change your solicitor.

My first thought too! Yours sounds like a "can't be bothered unless it's easy" sort of solicitor - you need one with a bit more backbone, who will find a solution for you.

[Deleted User]

macman wrote: »

The problem is that you conceded to him before, and so now he thinks he can bully you into submission again this time. He has no case whatsoever, unless your fence is over 6ft high, as pointed out above.
Just reply to the email saying that the fence is on your land and that you have no need to advise him or get his approval for it. If he wishes to take legal action then he is welcome to do so (he won't). End by saying that you will not discuss the matter further.
Since you have already had to declare the dispute, the damage is done, so no point in worrying about that.

I would agree with a lot of this and would add:

If the above doesn't work, would suggest you reply to his email asking him why he thinks what you have done is illegal and asking him to send you the URL to the legal website that proves it. Or in other words - prove that I can't do it, or shut up.

I really hope that you're keeping all his emails AND a note of every conversation you're forced to have with him, because it sounds like you may need to build a legal case against him in the future. It's not separate incidents that will carry weight but them all together, over time.

I know that you just want to get the hell away from him - understandably - but don't let this man bully you. It's worked before so he thinks he can carry on doing it.

And get your house back on the market as soon as possible. If it doesn't sell, rent it out - preferably to someone with 13 kids

[Deleted User]

loveka wrote: »

Yes, we suggested both those things. He refused.

In the end we split the land with him. We have a document which outlines the boundary. When we 'sold' the house all parties accepted this document as an indication of the boundary.

To give the full sorry tale would be pages and pages long. He is very vindictive and has told us he will punish us for not just giving him the land he wanted. He said he would stop us getting an extension to our house by eg insisting on the most expensive party wall surveyor he could find. This worked as we would have been on a very tight budget. Yet he didn't get a party wall award himself!

He is wealthy unfortunately.

It's more how I can move on now I'm stuck here that is my problem. I feel very bitter about what he put us through, and now he has started the nasty emails again it has brought it all back. I thought I would be 250 miles away starting a new life, but no. It feels like I'm trapped.

"He has told us he will punish us" - that sounds like threatening behaviour to me. Might be time to have a quiet word with the police (this is not about a boundary dispute, it's about his nasty behaviour).

Talking of the police - my M&D had terrible neighbours for 20 years who fell out with them and then did all sorts of nasty things - including once sending an ambulance to their house in the middle of the night, ringing their doorbell in the middle of the night, and riddling the soffits of their house with an air rifle (they couldn't prove it was them). But in the end, my Mum asked for a community police officer to visit them "to advise about security" at a time when she knew they would be in. When he came (in a police car) she told him the whole sorry tale. He gave her some advice; stayed for a cup of tea, and when he left, he walked to the front garden gate and shouted back at her "Don't forget Mrs C .... Any more trouble like that and you get straight back in touch with me and I'll sort them out." Strangely enough, she never had anymore trouble from that day on .:j
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