The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

cathybird

hi Slowdown and welcome, and best of luck. Re dreading it, I just wanted to say that that's exactly how I used to feel but this eases off over time a lot (which is just as well ) and the best thing I found to help me was just take it day by day and even moment by moment and not think too much about the future where "I won't be allowed to drink or have fun and it will always be hard and an effort". I find it helpful when cravings hit to think "not today", but at the same time I give myself "permission" to drink tomorrow, if I want. This eases the pressure somehow and then you get through it and stop thinking about it. Then do the same when tomorrow or the next craving actually arrives. In other words don't tell yourself you "can't drink" - just postpone it a bit, and then go on postponing it. But different things work for different people and that's just what works for me.

This group/thread is profoundly helpful and makes the whole thing so much easier.

Slowdown

Green_Karen wrote: »

Hi Slowdown, your story rings true with me, I too am 51. My dad died at 49 due to alcohol. My mum has always had a drink problem also. I packed in my job earlier this year, I had been in sales for 21 years which I kind of stumbled into and it was pretty high pressured. Currently I am taking some time off to manage our house build which is starting to get interesting (and a little stressful at times).

I had hoped stopping working would automatically mean I stop drinking but it hasn't been the case. You see I haven't changed, just one of the circumstances in my life, albeit I couldn't be happier with everything else and it was only work that bothered me. But I have come to realise a very important thing, it's people and my interactions with them that bother me and unless I become a recluse, that happens whether you work or not. I over analyse and go over conversations again and again. I also beat myself up about things I haven't done/should do better. Such as my inability to make decisions (a significant weakness when building a house!)

Oh goodness me. My mother has never been much of a drinker but if not for that we could be twins. I too over analyse, run conversations over and over and constantly beat myself up (though this is improving with support). I have definitely self medicated with alcohol during deeply stressful times. I have been a teacher all my working life and after 28 years can no longer put up with it. It feels like the best decision I've made for a long time. I intend to work elsewhere and only in a job I will enjoy.

I also understand that this change may not be the trigger for less drinking that I think it might. I may have to become a recluse as you mentioned! I don't have a wide circle of friends but I am very close to the ones I do have and their company helps with stress. I'd just like to stop waking up in the night fearing for my health and worrying about how much I consume.

Thanks to everyone.

maman

:wave:hello slowdown. You know you're in the right place. Plenty of good advice and support. What more do we need??:D


Thank you for your kind words Green Karen.:) It is a case of horses for courses and I've changed my habits enough to achieve what I want. I don't think I could give up, I've never tried because I don't want/need to. I'm in full admiration for those that do. :A


I can resonate completely with what cathy says about 'not today'. I've now moved that on to mostly 'not until the weekend' although I will have a mid week drink if I plan it (i.e. not 's*d it' days). My bottom line is 10 days a month but I do my best (unless having a very social/holiday period) to edge that towards 14. When I started I was struggling to cope with an AF evening (having gone from a bottle+ per night) then I longed for Fridays now I just accept that what I do is my new habit and I'm generally pleased with it. But, to reiterate, that's what suits me a different pattern might suit other people. I have a friend who wanted to cut down by half so he chose a pattern of every other day. It wouldn't suit me but it suited him.


Didn't mean to write an essay.:o


I'm out dancing tonight so will be hitting the lemon squash!:D


13 AFDs please Shaggy.

shaggydoo

Slowdown wrote: »

So I think this means I intend to have 8 AF days to the end of October. Please add me to the list.
Thanks

shaggydoo

October 2017

= 7 Days AF

= 14 days AF

= 21 days AF

= 28 days AF

= 31 days AF

= Target Achieved

= Target Beaten



Alcohol Free Days

AlexLK 14/21
Arkers 17/TF
Barny1979 16/24
CathyBird 18/21
CuppaTea 11/18
Eltee 9/25
ElusiveLucy 10/14

GintotMelinda
GreenKaren 14/TF
Honey Bear 24/31
MaggieM 15/15
Maman 13/10

Nicnak
Poor Single Lady19/24
Pricey 12/20

PurpleMumof2 3/10
Shaggy 16/13


SlowDown /8

StepUpToThePl8

StichyWitchy
SukeyBoo 12/14
TakingOneDay 21/31

WBF 5/14


Everyone Welcome! It's never too late to join....

Please highlight your AFDs in Red

Don't hesitate to let me know if I've made a mistake!

shaggydoo

Roll up, Roll up. A New Month, A New Challenge.

SET A

30 days up for grabs!

Everyone Welcome!!!

Slowdown

Cathybird. I really like the way you have put things. I am fearful that telling myself I can't have any won't work. But I'll take it day by day and if I slip up I really don't want to have the feeling of either just forgetting the whole thing or beating myself up. I'd like to treat it as a 'slip up' and nothing else.
I will employ your tactic and see how I fair.
Thanks.

Poor_Single_lady

Welcome Slowdown :hello:

20/24 please

Almost at the cat.

takingonedayatatime

Hi Slowdown :wave:

Thank you Maman, Green Karen and Honey Bear for taking the time to comment and encourage.. I can't tell you how much it means and helps me.

I am eating sugary stuff but now that you mention it, maybe not enough to keep me going. I made some cookies today so that will keep me going for a day or so :rotfl:

Reading about others constantly thinking about what they've said to others and whether it 'came out the right way' or not resonates with me too. I constantly beat myself up about what I've said and why I've said it and how I could've done things differently. I prefer being with my family or in my own company now, although I do have close friends I still see.

So I am now on day 24/31 and 27 days in total.

Thank you again to everyone for your comments and encouragement. x

Poor_Single_lady

21/24

I've got a cat! :

Thank you everyone. xxx