How to react to elusive man

enthusiasticsaver

Cousins can marry as two of our close friends did. They have a daughter who is perfectly healthy.

This man sounds as if he can't be trusted so I would wait until he is back and then talk candidly to him as to what relationship he wants with you or indeed is in with his cousin.

SandC

My grandparents on my mother's side were cousins. Their six children turned out okay. :-)

As for the bloke, maybe he was waiting to see how things panned out before telling you... first break away together and all that. I know it's usually months before I tell people when I'm seeing someone in case it all goes pearshaped.

But, yes, he does sound like he's played you a bit.

triplecoffee

They might not even be cousins, it could be that shes just his girlfriend/partner/wife/fiance but he cant really tell you that because youd run a mile! so to check if you knew her and gauge your reaction he called her his cousin so he could see if you said 'oh yeah shes really nice we chat all the time', in which case he may have been honest and told you who she is! either way steer clear, hes a 'wrong un' and in a relationship.

Fusspot

Just an update. Thanks all for the advice. I decided to text him and ask him about his 'cousin', in a nice subtle way, I just told him that its up to him to do what he wants but if he is seeing her as in a relationship then he can tell me about it.

Its taken him two days to reply. His text came tonight, he said he only got back home yesterday and has been asleep all day.

He said he didn't realise his cousin had referred to him as her boyfriend on Facebook, he admitted they do go out a lot but don't have sex because it wouldn't feel right.

It still all sounds dodgy to me and I'm not convinced. At least I've had it out with him and he has got back to me.

As for anything more with him, well I won't even go there now, not while I have this suspicion about him. I guess I just needed to know the truth and didn't want him to think he could say anything to me I would swallow it.

BrassicWoman

"it wouldn't feel right" is not the same as "I don't want to."

Best steer clear. He's not emotionally available to you while he has her.

This early, you are looking for a guy who texts back immediately and can't wait to see you as soon as he is home. You deserve better!