Need some advice

Stressedout81

TBagpuss wrote: »

I think you need to be very, very clear about the impact of having a conviction (or a caution) for an offence of this kind.

It would almost certainly stop you from having any job working with children or vulnerable adults
It would probably mean you could not act as a volunteer for anything involving children or vulnerable adults, so you might well not be able to get involved in helping out with your children's after school or sports clubs etc.

It would probably prevent you from fostering or adopting in future.

And quite apart from the specific issues relating to the nature of the offence, it would also be a criminal offence which you would (at least until it is 'spent') potentially have to disclose on things such as job and insurance applications.

It might also make things more difficult in the event that you and your child's mum are in dispute over contact in future, as a conviction will be a fact and a court dealing with contact issues can't, normally, 'look behind' the fact of the conviction to hear additional evidence about the specific incident.

My solicitor has suggested offering to plead to a common assault, which is in essence what the offence was initially categorised as and as such would be less likely to impact on myself.

TBagpuss

Just to add, it may not automatically occur to your solicitor to address these points with you. Most solicitors specialise, so they won't be familiar with how a family court would treat a conviction or caution, and it's likely that a lot of their criminal clients are repeat offenders so the issues as to the implications for a first conviction aren't something they will necessarily be dealing with day to day, and is in any case a little outside the scope of their advice.

If your solicitor advises that there is a good chance of you being acquitted, then it is probably worth fighting. They will be able to explain the risks to you and the range of potential outcomes if you fight and lose, as against pleading out.

If your son does give evidence I would expect this to be by video link, so he would not normally have to be in the court room.

badmemory

peachyprice wrote: »

In which case OP, why are you worried about the child giving evidence?

In case he is being taught what to say would be my first thought.

peachyprice

badmemory wrote: »

In case he is being taught what to say would be my first thought.

But you don't just roll over and get yourself a criminal conviction surely?

peachyprice

Stressedout81 wrote: »

Many reasons I guess. I don't want him to be in an awkward position, having to feel like I'm the enemy. There's nothing to hide, the evidence is already in statement form somewhere, so it's not that there's more. I haven't seen it, but my solicitor will get all the evidence prior to court anyway.


I want things to be friendly, want to see have contact and that would be simpler if there was no additional bad feeling. Unfortunately these things take a long time, the sooner it is resolved the sooner I can start to rebuild.


There were no injuries, there was no medical treatment needed, nothing like that.

If you don't defend yourself and take the criminal conviction for child abuse are you sure your ex won't use it against you to stop you from seeing your son?

Stressedout81

peachyprice wrote: »

If you don't defend yourself and take the criminal conviction for child abuse are you sure your ex won't use it against you to stop you from seeing your son?

I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think so. I think she would make it more difficult if it went through the trial process than if not.

triplecoffee

im aware i will most likely be shot down in flames for this but i dont really understand the smacking business. before i had my daughter i never gave it a second thought, i was smacked as a child (smacked legs or bottom) and im not scarred emotionally or physically but now i have my own daughter i dont understand why we use force for compliance, especially as people always say and as the OP has said: not to hurt or to leave a mark. If my husband went to work and said he'd hit me would it be ok if he told everyone he didnt leave a mark and hes sure it didnt hurt me? If i did the same to an elderley or vulnerable relative is that ok too? Im not trying to spark an anti hitting debate but the reasons there are laws are in place are to protect a child. Is there any wonder that the OPs son tried to break things when he lost his game? His role model shows him that its acceptable to manage anger with violence. i am also uncomfortable with the not wanting the child to give evidence too.

Slinky

Firstly, I don't have children.

Thinking about this, I was smacked as a child occasionally, although I think it was more likely done by my Mum, can't have harmed me too much since I can't remember!

If charges had been pressed would my Dad (who loved me dearly) have pleaded guilty to save me going to court? Yes he probably would.

Knowing the way the rest of the world looks at convictions against children, as an adult now looking back, would I have wanted my Dad saddled with a conviction for smacking me? Most definitely I would not.

Just my thoughts.

If it was me and I felt I'd done nothing wrong, I would fight it rather than accept a label that could haunt the rest of my life.

triplecoffee

I do totally see what youre saying slinky, i'd be the exact same and wouldnt want my mother having the charges against her either although im sure my dad (who had plenty of misgivings wouldnt have tried to have her prosecuted anyway). i suppose what i was getting at was if i hit someone who was another member of my family im sure everyone would be saying it would be my own fault that id be looking at charges against me. It saddens me that its acceptable for a child but thats not really the topic here and i appreciate that my beliefs on this are against everyone elses 'norm'

Slinky

From what I recall of being smacked, it was never the intention to cause harm, it was more of an intention to cause shock - that what ever behaviour was being exhibited at the time by myself was not acceptable and that verbal methods hadn't worked.

I think an adult hitting another adult is a different scenario.