Need some advice

Stressedout81

Just a brief synopsis, but feel free to ask questions.

( and yes I appreciate that not everyone will agree with me- it is emotive)

Few weeks back my son kicked off- he's 9- after losing on a computer game, tried to break some things, generally just overreacted. I stopped him, gave him a slap on the bum, and started to tell him off. I was holding his cheeks, not hard, trying to maintain eye contact, but he threw himself to the floor, or tried to. Instinctively I held onto him to stop him falling. His mum, my ex, thought I'd tried to lift him up by his head, but it honestly wasn't like that, he just flopped voluntarily.

Anyway, we'd not been getting on and she called the police, initially the accused me of assault. But when I explained, they changed it to a s1 child and young person act offence. That's important as under that law 'lawful chastisement' is not a defence. Feels like they just wanted to get me on a technicality. The law is about really serious mistreatment, but can be used for anything.

Anyway, I've been charged, which to be honest is scary! I'm now debating what to do. I appreciate no-one can really decide apart from me, but here goes:

Option 1: plead guilty, maybe to a lesser charge. It would mean the situation is over there and then. There were no injuries, so I can't see a serious sentence. But it would stop him having to give evidence. I want to protect him, even if you might read this and think otherwise.

Option 2: go through trial, my solicitor thinks we have a good case. Even if not, and I lose, the sentence isn't expected to be hard. But then he has to give evidence.

I guess the question is 'what would you do'?

Background: I've never been in trouble before. He wasn't hurt. The police weren't even called for a fair few hours. It may or may not affect my job. According to sentencing guidelines it would be a fine or a discharge. Sorry if this upsets anyone.

System

This might be helpful

http://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/the-law-on-smacking-children/

Stressedout81

Thanks, honestly I didn't leave a mark even, it was just a light smack, just enough to show his behaviour wasn't acceptable.

Kynthia

There is no way I'd want any kind of convinction on my record and who knows what affect it would have in the future if rules change. I'd fight it vigorously if I genuinely felt I'd acted within the law and would hope it would be dropped by the CPS so tgat no-one goes to court.

Mr_Singleton

Get a lawyer

maman

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

Get a lawyer

He has done.

Kynthia wrote: »

There is no way I'd want any kind of convinction on my record and who knows what affect it would have in the future if rules change. I'd fight it vigorously if I genuinely felt I'd acted within the law and would hope it would be dropped by the CPS so tgat no-one goes to court.

I agree with this. Children making themselves go floppy is a known reaction to be uncooperative as they know it'll be difficult to move them.

Obviously you can't know the outcome but hopefully you'll get a fair hearing and it won't go further.

peachyprice

Are you and the mother still together?


Your reluctance to let him give evidence worries me, 'trying to protect' him seems a bit of a flimsy reason TBH, taking the hit for something you feel you didn't do just makes it look like you have more to hide.

If this was the only instance of you 'disciplining' by physical force you have nothing to worry about, let him tell the truth of what happened on that day, that he was out of order, so were you.

The lasting consequences to the child having to give evidence are minimal for him, the lasting consequences of a child abuse charge on your record could be catastrophic for you.

It's a bit of a no-brainer really.

LandyAndy

Stressedout81 wrote: »

His mum, my ex,.

peachyprice wrote: »

Are you and the mother still together?

.

:cool:. .

peachyprice

LandyAndy wrote: »

:cool:. .

Sorry, missed that bit

In which case OP, why are you worried about the child giving evidence?

TBagpuss

I think you need to be very, very clear about the impact of having a conviction (or a caution) for an offence of this kind.

It would almost certainly stop you from having any job working with children or vulnerable adults
It would probably mean you could not act as a volunteer for anything involving children or vulnerable adults, so you might well not be able to get involved in helping out with your children's after school or sports clubs etc.

It would probably prevent you from fostering or adopting in future.

And quite apart from the specific issues relating to the nature of the offence, it would also be a criminal offence which you would (at least until it is 'spent') potentially have to disclose on things such as job and insurance applications.

It might also make things more difficult in the event that you and your child's mum are in dispute over contact in future, as a conviction will be a fact and a court dealing with contact issues can't, normally, 'look behind' the fact of the conviction to hear additional evidence about the specific incident.

Stressedout81

peachyprice wrote: »

Sorry, missed that bit

In which case OP, why are you worried about the child giving evidence?

Many reasons I guess. I don't want him to be in an awkward position, having to feel like I'm the enemy. There's nothing to hide, the evidence is already in statement form somewhere, so it's not that there's more. I haven't seen it, but my solicitor will get all the evidence prior to court anyway.


I want things to be friendly, want to see have contact and that would be simpler if there was no additional bad feeling. Unfortunately these things take a long time, the sooner it is resolved the sooner I can start to rebuild.


There were no injuries, there was no medical treatment needed, nothing like that.