Bills for dementia sufferer

Beenie

My mother has been diagnosed with 'early dementia' which means that she is not considered a medical or social worry (yet). She is living alone, doing her shopping, watching TV, speaking to neighbours and the only problem appears to be her poor short-term memory. She is forgetting what day it is, forgetting conversations, and has forgotten things like birthdays and Xmas.

She has always paid her bills promptly, but I have been told by her landlord that she has had some final reminders from the electricity company. I am going to see her (she lives at the other end of the country to me, so a difficult and expensive journey) and will try to find this bill and pay it myself.

The problem is what to do in the future. I can't keep travelling and paying her bills. This situation must be common for many posters here and I wondered if anyone had advice?

Torry_Quine

Do you have Power of Attorney as that would enable you to pay bills etc.

pattycake

Could you not help her to set up direct debits for utility bills, council tax etc?

Keep_pedalling

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Do you have Power of Attorney as that would enable you to pay bills etc.

Does not sound like it, so get a LPA in place without delay while your mother still has capacity to do so. Without an LPA in place you will be helpless in managing her affairs as this progresses, and the only other opthin then will be to apply to the courts for deputyship, which is both long winded and expensive.

onomatopoeia99

Beenie wrote: »

The problem is what to do in the future. I can't keep travelling and paying her bills. This situation must be common for many posters here and I wondered if anyone had advice?

Direct debit. I never have to worry about paying a bill, it happens automatically.

Placitasgirl

As has been mentioned, prioritise registering an Lasting Power of Attorney for Mum as soon as you can; this can only be done whilst Mum has the capacity to understand what she is agreeing to and putting in place.

My Dad has Alzheimers and I am so pleased that we set up his LPA when he was first diagnosed. It has made managing his affairs with him and on his behalf since then so much more straightforward and so much less stressful for us both. For example I recently had to arrange full access to Dad's bank account as his memory is now so bad he can't remember how to log in/make payments etc and it was an incredibly simple and straightforward process because the LPA was in place.

Whilst it may seem daunting, the LPA process can be completed online, it's very well explained and easy to complete and to follow the registration process to finality. There are two types of LPA: Health and Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney and a Property and Financial Affairs Lasting Power of Attorney.

Mr_Singleton

Beenie wrote: »

I can't keep travelling and paying her bills.

"Her" !!!!!!!

Go back a few years.... "the little blighter wants feeding again!" or maybe " they need school shoes again, oh where is the money coming from!"

You need to remember it's your mother!

Keep_pedalling

Mr_Singleton wrote: »

"Her" !!!!!!!

Go back a few years.... "the little blighter wants feeding again!" or maybe " they need school shoes again, oh where is the money coming from!"

You need to remember it's your mother!

Please get off your high horse. The OP lives a long way from her mother and is looking for solutions to the day to day problem of dealing with her mother's finances, not moralising from a keyboard warrior who knows nothing about about the OP or their relationship with their mother.

Keep_pedalling

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Direct debit. I never have to worry about paying a bill, it happens automatically.

OK in the short term, but it is going to get mor complicated than that, the OP will eventually need to deal with social services, DWP and possibly a residential care home, for which a LPA will be almost essential.

Carrot007

Beenie wrote: »

I can't keep travelling and paying her bills.

Everything is online these days. No need to travel to pay her bills or find out if she has.

Offer to help.

Get LPoA.

Set up DD's. Old people can be funny about them but they get the job done.

Geoff1963

Go back a few years.... "the little blighter wants feeding again!" or maybe " they need school shoes again, oh where is the money coming from!"

My Dad keeps reminding me that I haven't yet paid for my pram.

She is forgetting what day it is, forgetting conversations, and has forgotten things like birthdays and Xmas.

Ooops.

Most organisations allow extra people to be added as "authorised" to discuss particular affairs, especially if it means they get paid. Many will have online payment and billing systems, so the paperwork isn't necessary.
Can you get some kind of video link set up ( like remote home security ), so if she gets some awkward paperwork, she can just hold it up for you to read ?
Probably time to invest in some kind of tracker / personal locator too. Some systems use burglar alarm technology, to make sure someone IS : walking around the house, flushing the loo, opening the fridge etc.