Bills for dementia sufferer

Torry_Quine

Beenie wrote: »

OK. Didn't realise that (she lives in a housing trust bungalow, and the trust has a Money & Benefits Advisor so I assumed that s/he would have contacts with the local social services).

I am already in touch with the GP. She has been diagnosed with dementia, but as long as she is eating, dressing and washing herself, there is nothing to be done medically.

A benefits advisor may have contacts with social services but they wouldn't have any responsibility for your mother or have any access to her requirements. Her GP is the best person to liaise with social services and or contact them yourself.

If she still has times when she is lucid then a power of attorney may still be possible but don't delay as things could change quickly.

macman

If her electricity isn't already on DD, then most likely she is on an expensive Standard Variable Tariff.
Her gas, electricity, phone, water, council tax and home insurance can all be set up as online accounts with DD payment without the need for a POA.
She may also qualify for a C Tax disregard if she can be medically assessed as SMI.

Primrose

If your mother doesn!t have a phone that makes contact with her and checking up on her very difficult, but at the same time it's not always the safety net you think it might be because I learned from bitter experience that dementia sufferers can also develop a fear and loss of confidence in using the instrument.

I know you live a long distance away. Do alert your employer to this problem so that you are able to take advantage of any employee policies in place to support families with family care problems. Things might start to go downhill quickly so you need whatever employer support programmes are available. Obvious question: do you have any other relatives living nearer who might be able to provide some assistance?

Dealing with stubborn elderly relatives is par for the course I,m afraid and dementia means she may not be able to differentiate between the diminishing options available to her. However, do try and give her a simple choice between Option A and Option B when trying to decide what's feasible going forward, i.e. Sheltered accommodation /care home or staying st home and getting some carer support in for some functions.

She might not want either option but faced with a simple unconfusing choice of just two options, you might slowly be able to inch the situation forward. Lots of different options may just confuse her to the point when she freezes and nothing can move forward at all. Having two choices and being able to decide between one and the other will also help her feel she is still in control of her life which is very important for her dignity and self confidence.

pineapple

Beenie wrote: »

I am already in touch with the GP. She has been diagnosed with dementia, but as long as she is eating, dressing and washing herself, there is nothing to be done medically.

I was a support worker with the Alzheimer's Society and that is the first time I have heard that. In fact we emphasised the importance of medical intervention early on.
Please consult your local Alzheimer's Society about this (btw they help with all forms of dementia not just Alzheimer's). There is no cure but it may be possible to slow the condition.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/download/downloads/id/1760/factsheet_drug_treatments_for_alzheimers_disease.pdf
Who made the diagnosis? She should have been referred to a specialist team. Plus are you looking at benefits? Not a lot of people know that council tax can be waived for someone with dementia. Every little counts.
The denial scenario is common. It happened with my own mother. Fortunately my father was with her. In the end she went along with everything because she had reached the stage when she didn't really know what was happening anyway. There is no harm in researching what is available meanwhile.
As things progress you could suggest going to a home for a break and take it from there.
CareAware can advise on all sorts. They were a big help to me
http://www.careaware.co.uk/

bouicca21

Admission to a care home may be inevitable but there are plenty of things to stave it off for as long as possible. You need to do the obvious like cutting the gas off. Talk to social services and get carers lined up to come in and help, there may well be lunch clubs with transport so that she will be under someone's eye for at Least a day or so in the week, meals on wheels for the weekend, and as in my earlier post pay someone to go in and talk to her plus sort out the washing etc on the days you can't sort anything else out (tell her it's the cleaner). My mum had carers morning and evening, a couple of lunch clubs and some paid visitors. it eased the burden on us, kept her home and happy until a nursing home was unavoidable.

You might want to start sussing out nursing homes too. Just in case.

Primrose

The point about sussing out care homes now, just as a precaution, is well advised because you will often find it is a sudden accident or unexpected incident which will trigger this necessity. You may find that those who will take (EMI) elderly mental inform are limited or restricted in the type of candidates they are prepared to take. Also try and come to a conclusion now, if it comes to that, about whether your mother will be located close to her home or close to you.

I say this because finding the right home is time consuming. And having to research two different parts of the country will be doubly time consuming . Both my parents through emergency situations ended up a long distance from me (their attorney) and driving to see them regularly was very stressful while I was still working ad you will be limited in the sort of surveillance you can manage. Unless she has a wide circle of friends or relatives close by who would be prepared to visit her regularly, (and you will be surprised how quickly this can tail off once the event had happened) that may be the time for your mum to make a move closer to you.

Morglin

Call in Social Services to do a full assessment of her needs.

A care home might be needed, in the future, but unless she is self funding you will be restricted to what the council will fund, and your choice of home will be less..

Good luck..

Lin ��

Mojisola

Beenie wrote: »

I am already in touch with the GP. She has been diagnosed with dementia, but as long as she is eating, dressing and washing herself, there is nothing to be done medically.

Who told you that?

My mother was referred to the Memory Clinic, had a brain scan and other tests and was seen by a consultant. She was put on tablets (which are only used for mild and moderate dementia so have to be started before things get bad).

Mum then had six monthly appointments with a specialist nurse at the Memory Clinic who tracked her deterioration, managed her medication and gave advice about any changes in her condition.

She was doing all the things you mention up til the time of her death (from other causes).

pineapple

Mojisola wrote: »

Who told you that?

My mother was referred to the Memory Clinic, had a brain scan and other tests and was seen by a consultant. She was put on tablets (which are only used for mild and moderate dementia so have to be started before things get bad).

It used to be quite common for people to struggle even to get a diagnosis. Partly because GPs had other demands and 'nothing could be done anyway'. I was constantly seeing people fobbed off when they knew something was wrong. This could be a variation on that. It's certainly a new one on me. I'm wondering if this was an off the cuff diagnosis based on a few questions in the GP's surgery. If dementia is suspected that would normally require referral to a consultant, confirmation tests and the involvement of the memory clinic as you say
The OP needs to pursue this urgently given the progression of the condition.. By the sounds of it, Mum should have already started on meds.

troubleinparadise

With regard to a potential care home, from the way you have written it sounds as though you are the only involved family member.

If that is the case, look at homes near you. Given the way dementia progresses, living in your old town becomes neither here nor there, and old friends drop away.

It would be better for your mum to be near you so that you can visit and keep an eye on her more easily. No doubt she wouldn't want to move to a care home (who does?), but it is best to be prepared for all eventualities.

And be prepared for problems to crop up unexpectedly, needing you to go to her at a moment's notice - if you have someone close to her who would help out in a crisis that could ease things, but caring from a distance is not easy.