Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow

beanielou

No words of wisdom Buffster but you do need to look after yourself & your mental health. xxx

Pooky

What are you planning to do if you leave? I'm assuming you'll still have a monthly wage so you can carry on paying off the debt and saving from that.

Sounds to me (and I don't mean it nastily) that you're looking for excuses not to leave.

What outgoings could you cut back on - @mazon is half price to OU students and there's plenty of free online courses you can do, so worth signing up and having a go. Pet insurance, not something I've ever had so not sure of cost effectiveness. Birthday gifts could be scaled back, I'm sure family would understand (and if they don't then give them a slap).

There's absolutely no point in being in a job that stresses you out so much and makes you feel so poorly constantly. Don't wait until the money/debt is sorted, just make the jump and then make the money work better for you.

Our income is tiny now and it was a huge drop when DH had to give up work. It's taken a good few years to get my mindset right but now I can't believe I spent so much on stuff that we/I didn't need but was just being spent because I was bored/stressed. Once you find a job you enjoy, you'll find the money side just all slots into place (with a bit of ramming at the edges)

Start putting yourself first - yes the animals are important but without you, they're not going to get looked after so start treating yourself the way you treat them - but maybe without the dog biscuits and sawdust.

beanielou

Wise words from Pooky

RosaBernicia

How about looking at short, long and middle term options? What are your timings for leaving, is it end of each term?

I agree it isn't worth putting up with ridiculous stress, but that needs to be balanced against the potential stress of finding another job, and the security you may have in a permanent job. And if you need to consider your long term options for a house, then I would suggest you do some serious thinking about it and what is most important to you - better to think it through in advance and know what you want than to jump and potentially worry eg that you will find it more difficult to get a mortgage.

If there are things you think could be done to deal with the current stress better - like avoiding your misery download friend for a start - could you have a pilot phase doing that while you pay off doable amounts and see how you go?

Also, do you have someon to bounce all this off in RL? It might be worth seeing a counsellor for a few weeks if that would give you a way of laying it all out and some help seeing the big picture.


Rosa xx

Buffythedebtslayer

I think the reason why it sounds like I am making excuses is because I don't really want to leave. I like an awful lot of the kids, I have such a laugh some days. It has been really hard lately cos of staff shortages, and there are huge weaknesses in leadership, like it might as well not be there. Honestly teaching is really bloody hard. The thought of going elsewhere and starting again when really I wanted to be done in 2 -3 years from now. Not appealing.

And Rosa - I was wondering about a mortgage too. Plus everything is so up in the air at home. job stability got me through last year.

I suppose I just see how it goes... till May, the last time to give notice. Logically it is a decision that makes sense, but it doesn't sit well? I know the place is going wrong.

Ps - am a bit weird in that it would take A LOT to make me leave mid year, that is super rough on the kids. I am not saying I wouldn't - One point last week I was thinking about going to the doctors and getting signed off. But as a general rule it is July.

I needed this ordering of thoughts, thanks all XXX

Honeysucklelou2

Hi Buffy,
In the same profession and having very similar wrestlings in my mind at the moment, so reading with interest. I've started to dread Sundays because I know I've got to gear up for another week and hate feeling like this. Teaching is in some ways the best job in the world...but it is hard. Thinking of you...

crazy_cat_lady

I doubt you'd ever struggle to get supply work with what I've seen. Could you make up cash during the hols with tutoring or exam marking? I know what a wrench it is working with kids that you love and make it worthwhile, but I also know how blimming awful it is working for awful senior leadership - however I only realised that once there was a new boss in place. It sometimes takes being out of an awful situation before you realise how bad it is in there.
You need to consider yourself and your own health, and it's been getting to you at work for months... but you also need to be working as you have financial commitments as well. It's a tough decision and I know that it's scary to make a move.
Lots of love to you.

beanielou

Oh yes, remember Buffy you used to do tutoring before.
Good advice from crazycatlady xx

Buffythedebtslayer

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

I doubt you'd ever struggle to get supply work with what I've seen. Could you make up cash during the hols with tutoring or exam marking? I know what a wrench it is working with kids that you love and make it worthwhile, but I also know how blimming awful it is working for awful senior leadership - however I only realised that once their was a new boss in place. It sometimes takes being out of an awful situation before you realise how bad it is in there.
You need to consider yourself and your own health, and it's been getting to you at work for months... but you also need to be working as you have financial commitments as well. It's a tough decision and I know that it's scary to make a move.
Lots of love to you.

you know it is funny but on Saturday I bumped into an old colleague, we worked at the most horrible place and in reality we both stayed much longer than we should, it was like being slowly boiled alive you just didn't know how bad it was until you left - and I only left because I was out of debt and I had a boyfriend so was happy (the "relationship" finished in about a month - but it did what I needed, gave me the confidence to go) and felt things would be different. They were.

I think really I could go. I think. And CCL you are probably right about the supply work. I still do a bit of tutoring.

and Honeysuckle, I know that feeling XXX

Sun_Addict

A lot of food for thought there. Do whatever you think is best for you xx