Third-Life Crisis

Magpie100

Hope the dog is on the mend. Don't panic or doing anything rash about the money for now. Sit down tomorrow and work it out.

Re your question on saving the money in advance...I'm afraid I don't have the answer. I do think there has to be an element of trial and error with all of this, depending on your situation and your personality types. You've already identified that keeping the money to one side until the end of the month might be too much of a temptation. I'm not sure your MSE ways are quite bedded in enough yet (see the phone upgrade saga!) - though I know you are making every effort.

Two other thoughts: back in Feb you had vet bills of £2000, too. Your SOA posted in early Feb says you are paying £100 a month in insurance and pet-related expenses. What is your level of cover, and why are you having to pay out so much?

Finally, also in Feb you said that from March this year you would be able to start putting aside the extra £300. Has that happened/is it about to happen? I really hope so as I still think you need to have an emergency fund. Pets, cars and houses will all throw up unexpected expenses. I know this money also needs to stretch your mat leave, but it would at least provide some cheaper borrowing than the credit cards.

Do check in again tomorrow - everything will seem brighter then. M100

enthusiasticsaver

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

Interesting day yesterday! The bad news is that we had to take the pooch for an emergency trip to see the surgeon as his leg isn't healing. They did a minor op, which luckily cost us nothing as it was under the umbrella of the large sum of money we recently paid for his surgery, but said that might not be the answer and he may need some explorative surgery in 4 weeks time. I'm guessing that wouldn't be free
The good news is that the OH has been offered a contract with a company fitting kitchens for some big high street names I don't want to get too excited just yet, but his daily rate could be going up by £50 more than he's currently charging and there's enough work to keep him busy until September already. This could mean an extra £800pm for us which would make a MASSIVE difference to our debt balance and quality of life. He's starting on Monday so we'll see how the next few weeks pan out. In the meantime, it's MS business as usual...

If this comes off it will make a massive difference. I strongly urge you and your husband to use that £800 as a savings and debt overpayment buffer rather than going back to your old ways of spending given you have a very expensive dog and a baby on the way.

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

Everything has well and truly gone out the window this week. :mad:
The biggest thing being that the pooch decided to be helpful and remove his own stitches, just a week too early. Meaning two trips to the vets and £250 less in the bank.
I will work out the full extent of the damage tomorrow and how to sort it. We've paid around £300 off of the credits cards this month and I wonder if I'm doing it in the right way. If we'd put it in a pot and then transferred at the end of the month we could have used it for the extra costs this month. But seeing money in a pot is very tempting and then doesn't always make it onto the credit cards. Any suggestions on how to do the overpayments?

Will check in again tomorrow.

Until you stop spending on the cards you need emergency savings especially for your dog who seems extraordinarily unlucky and costing you a fortune in vets bills and surgery. No point in paying an extra £300 on the cards and then spending on them when you run out of money for unexpected expenses.

Treadingonplaymobil

I would say at this stage the last thing you want to be doing is having £300 kicking around all month - there will always be something that needs doing. Obviously when it's the dog you just have to spend it, but if the money's there it's so easy to have something else become a 'need' when actually if the money wasn't there you would manage well.

When I first started out with my DFD I went through various stages of having little pots of money available, and sooner or later always just spent them. It took me probably 10 months to really get to a stage where I could be trusted to only dip into those pots if I actually genuinely needed to (and even now, I know I would be that tiny more careful if those pots weren't there). I have realised it's better for me to overpay the CC when I can, as if I don't that money will always end up being used for something or other, and once it's paid off the CC my only way to spend it is to use the CC, which I really try to avoid doing at any cost.

Goingroundincircles

Been through all the accounts and spreadsheets this morning. There's enough money in the bills account to cover the rest of the month. OH borrowed (I know, I know) £2000 from his father to sort out things he needed to get himself sorted out properly for this new contract (training, insurances, tools) and because he'd paid for a drill on his materials credit card instead of out of the bank the money was transferred to it means the shortfall from the vets etc is covered. I'm hoping the overall damage will be that the overpayments made are soaked up in the shortfall rather than actually having adding to the CC debt this month. We'll have to wait and see next weekend.
I'm also hoping this is the last month of borrowing/bad luck but you're all right - cars, pets, houses all like to throw surprises our way.

I still have the £300 I started saving towards maternity leave intact and would really like to not dip into this, but will see what the damage is at the end of the month.

I think I'm going to continue to pay overpayments as and when we have them or they will just disappear elsewhere. But keep an eye on how it's working for us.

Two other thoughts: back in Feb you had vet bills of £2000, too. Your SOA posted in early Feb says you are paying £100 a month in insurance and pet-related expenses. What is your level of cover, and why are you having to pay out so much?

The £100 is £35 insurance, £25 fleas/worms/annual vaccinations and £40 food. He recently has cruciate ligament surgery (second leg!) which the insurance covered half of and we paid the other half. Last week he had a small pin taken out which was included in what we'd already paid but because he decided to pull the stitches out it has cost us an unexpected £250. We can't do anything about changing the insurance now as he is on an annual policy and if we do anything he's been treated for in the past will become an existing medical condition and therefore not covered. When we took out the policy 6 years ago £2000 per condition, per year sounded like enough. Oh hindsight.

Trying very hard not to go back to the 'oh well it's all gone wrong, might as well just spend loads of money and try again next month' attitude.

Cherryfudge

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

Trying very hard not to go back to the 'oh well it's all gone wrong, might as well just spend loads of money and try again next month' attitude.

Don't falter now - you are headed in the right direction even if this is a rough patch!

Poor pooch - yes, you would think £2000 a year was more than enough, it's very unfortunate it's worked out the way it has.

Goingroundincircles

Thanks Cherryfudge, fortunately the rough patch coincided with a few days away with my mum. So no spend for me and have come back feeling ready to carry on tackling this debt!

Goingroundincircles

The numbers are in for March...

Lloyds - £2880 - £2850
Halifax - £2374 - £2353
Barclaycard 1 - £6194 - £6094
Barclaycard 2 - £9192- £9237
MBNA 1 - £6158 - £6097
MBNA 2 - £3340 - £3299
MBNA 3 - £3932 - £4388
MBNA 4 - £2115 - £2094
MBNA 5 - £3746 - £3611
Mum - £1695 - £1595
Tesco Loan - £9300 - £8900
Sainsburys Loan - £8398 - £8076
TOTAL - £59,324 - £58,594
-£730

Nowhere near as much as we'd hoped to have lessened the debt by and now need to add £2000 for FIL. So really, it's gone up by £1270 :eek:
However in order to not go back to old ways of thinking and therefore start ignoring it again, it's onwards and upwards.

Good:
- OH has new work contract and so things are looking up on this front
- Although it has set us back this month OH now has better equipment and working practices in place
- Have spent hardly anything on Easter. Normally I would have got carried away with eggs, decorations, food etc but this year I have spent less than £10 (could have been even less but I may have had to taste test the first eggs purchased for quality reasons :rotfl:)
- Have all essential baby items now thanks to generous relatives
- Took food shopping money out in cash and still have some left
- Have saved something FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. £300 in the emergency fund/maternity leave pot

Bad:
- Ate the first lot of Easter eggs I bought
- Have not paid off as much debt as planned due to dog and husband :mad:
- OH's petrol issue (I think he's learnt his lesson, but we'll find out soon)

All in all not the fantastic start I was hoping for but some small wins and some better habits forming. I did wonder whether the £300 saved should have gone towards the debt shortfall this month but decided to leave it where it was in case of any more unexpected costs. If there are any this month we will use it.

Targets for April:
- Finally sell/charity shop the pile of things still sitting in the spare room
- £600 in the emergency fund/maternity leave pot
- Lessen debt by £1200

Have sorted April's budget with the rise in council tax etc and we are covered for the month.
I have also set up an 'ideal' budget, if OH starts earning more I want to split it between the following, in no particular order:
- FIL repayment
- Emergency fund/maternity leave pot
- OH business consumables pot
- OH holiday fund pot (we don't currently put anything away so if he takes time off we just juggle our budget that month :eek:)
- Spending
- Car fund
- Occasion fund (birthdays, christmas etc)
- Holidays
This will come into play in May all being well!

I think that's it for now. Positive attitude for the start of a new month :j
Have a lovely Easter weekend everyone!

Magpie100

Ok, so it looks like you need a good solid month this month to get back on an even keel. Does your OH's new contract mean his daily rate will be going up as you mentioned a few weeks ago? That would obviously make a significant difference to your situation.

Well done on starting the saving and paying off what you could. It's a shame you had to borrow more from OH's dad - I know you probably felt that you had no choice, but I think you need to move away from borrowing money from family full stop, whatever the situation. Your OH really needs to keep on top of insurance, training and tools and plan these potential spends out, It's part of being self-employed, and none of these things should be coming as an emergency or surprise. Being bailed out by family may mean he doesn't feel a sense of urgency about these things and I think it's something to work on.

I can see you have earmarked potential extra income to go to FIL/emergency fund/business consumables, which sounds like a sensible plan. I'm concerned as ever that you are doing all the work behind the scenes but I know it's not easy to change these things overnight. If your OH does start to earn more you need to be really, really strict with allocating that income and not relax too much.

I really hope April is a good month for you and that you can settle down to a financially 'normal' month to give you confidence and some breathing space. Keep going!

Goingroundincircles

Ok, so it looks like you need a good solid month this month to get back on an even keel.

I don't feel like we ever have one of these!! There is always something which doesn't fit into the budget. Had a bit of a wobble at the weekend about this. My mum called asking if I could pick up some things she had forgotten for Easter and all I could think was 'which pot is this going to come out of?!' It then dawned on me this is an awful situation to be in, where a few pounds can throw the budget out the window. I can't wait for the day when we actually have money in the account like normal people and the thought of having to pick up some potatoes and honey doesn't send me in a spin!

The insurance, training and tools were all things he didn't need previously but did to be able to take on this contract. He's been working for them for the last two weeks already - which saved our April budget as he'd previously earnt very little during the month. So we should start to see the full effect of this new daily rate in our May budget. Fingers crossed!

Goingroundincircles

Have taken advantage of an offer on one of our mbna cards and balance transferred £750 to the lloyds card at 6.9% for three years. Every little helps!

Was wondering if requesting to reduce the credit limit of cards as you reduce the balance has any effect on your credit rating? Would certainly help us to stop seeing them as available funds.