Third-Life Crisis

Goingroundincircles

It's so easy to do though TOPM! I like to think of it as forward planning but it's not, it's a recipe for disaster!

We save all of OH's income for the next month, so we know exactly what we have to budget with. So everything he's earnt in April will be for our May budget. At the moment he's earnt £280 over our 'basic budget' with another week left to earn more. So we could use that, but I had also put aside £100 for his birthday plus the £150 back from the insurers which should be in the bank by Tuesday, so we could use that instead and leave all of April's extra earnings for topping up May's saving/debt/spending pots. If that makes sense... Probably six and two threes.

I don't think I could manage posting several times a day, but will aim for several times a week. That way I can share my money spending ideas before I commit to them!

Goingroundincircles

Money from the pet insurance claim has arrived in the bank, so that along with £100 I had out squirrelled away means we are back on track for this month. Have sold a few more bits and wondering whether to put this to one side to build up or whether to make an overpayment straight away. Actually I think I've just answered the question in my head. The money I had put aside for the OH's birthday was in our emergency/maternity pot and I was really good at not touching it so I will put all small earnings in there and at the end of each month make an overpayment with it. Then if we need it for an emergency in the meantime we have it.

Only a week left of the month. Still haven't touched credit cards. The only challenge left is a hen party this weekend. I have budgeted £50 since most of it paid for. Shouldn't spend any more than that really since I can't drink!

enthusiasticsaver

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

Thanks both, the tax free childcare scheme definitely sounds like the way ahead for us!

enthusiasticsaver, how is your DD? Sorry to hear she's in hospital. Hope you are all doing ok.

My DD is now home and fine thank goodness. She had her DD2 last Friday who is tiny but perfect. So I have been enjoying lots of newborn cuddles and my GD1 is being a brilliant big sister considering she is only 2 and a half.

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

One thing I've realised, and I think realistically is the main reason our debt got so out of control, is that I like to spend money before I've actually got it. When I know money is due in sometime in the near future, whether it's cashback, a bonus or whatever, I think it's ok to do/buy something on the credit card for example and that I will pay it back. But this never happens for one reason or another. So my new rule, is to not do this. We can only spend money when we physically have it in our hands/account.

A small positive, is that we haven't touched the credit cards this month!

I think that's all for now. Must post more regularly so I don't get off track again.

Anticipating income is a common reason for going into debt and can be dangerous and throw budgets out. I never count it as income until it lands in the account. Great news on credit cards not being used though.

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

We save all of OH's income for the next month, so we know exactly what we have to budget with. So everything he's earnt in April will be for our May budget. At the moment he's earnt £280 over our 'basic budget' with another week left to earn more. So we could use that, but I had also put aside £100 for his birthday plus the £150 back from the insurers which should be in the bank by Tuesday, so we could use that instead and leave all of April's extra earnings for topping up May's saving/debt/spending pots. If that makes sense... Probably six and two threes.

I don't think I could manage posting several times a day, but will aim for several times a week. That way I can share my money spending ideas before I commit to them!

Excellent strategy to work one month behind with self employed. You seem to be getting more on top of this budgeting now.

Goingroundincircles

ES - Congratulations to you all! Glad to hear that everyone is safe and well.
And I'll be honest, I started reading the post expecting a telling off :rotfl: so was pleasantly surprised!

Goingroundincircles

Extra £15 in my pay, thank you new tax code.

Also just realised that we opened a nationwide account for OH to take advantage of the recommend a friend offer a couple of months ago and it has a 5% interest rate for the first year. Pays on balances up to £2500 so if we use that to save our emergency/maternity fund in we could earn ourselves some extra pennies. Woohoo.

enjoyyourshoes

Have you looked long and hard at why you need to spend, there are a few hints in your notes, but I assume there is something more tangible lurking?

I reckon there will be fags, age, lotto, caffe late, booze, i'll just nip out for such at work, etc etc that are not within entertainment nor on soa.?

£660 on pet insurance annually

Shop around for the car insurance too & pay annually as the monthly payments will come along with nice credit fees.

You both should sit down and agree life goals and then decide how you can achieve this within your financial envelope.

As you know yourself, your current position is not sustainable and to get into a position of debt free will take an enormous amount of self control, disciple and hard work. Plus paradigm shift in your current attitudes towards spending and debts.

Reconcile you bank account daily and accrue for none monthly costs. Stop the drip drip drip of spending. Look at what this is costing you and the opportunity cost of becoming debt free.

Good luck

enthusiasticsaver

Goingroundincircles wrote: »

ES - Congratulations to you all! Glad to hear that everyone is safe and well.
And I'll be honest, I started reading the post expecting a telling off :rotfl: so was pleasantly surprised!

LOL. I must be mellowing during my doting on newborns period

I actually was impressed you have been working out your budgets during maternity leave and after and are being a bit more realistic re childcare and doing it on worst case scenario. I know you said your mum is willing to do a lot but with the best will in the world us grandparents love looking after our grandchildren but they are exhausting. Building in a budget for paid childcare and only allowing for your mum to do 2 days sounds eminently doable. We do 1 day and other grandparents do 1 day but a friend of mine recently retired is doing 3/4 full days childcare for her grandchildren which I think is a lot.

You need a separate savings pot for your dog definitely as he seems to be pretty expensive re vet fees etc. How is the new contract going for your OH?

enthusiasticsaver

Just a thought as we were discussing my son in laws paternity leave yesterday. As your OH is self employed presumably he won't get paternity leave will he? Saving as much as possible not only for your maternity leave but his paternity leave should be priority I think even over paying the debt although those high interest rates on the MBNA cards are concerning. Is your mum going to help out after the birth? My DD had a CS so cannot drive for 6 weeks. My son in law luckily has 2 weeks paternity leave and 1 weeks holiday and then us and her PIL will help out. Your OH may not have the option of leave or holiday if self employed. Might be worth considering now and getting prepared for that.

Goingroundincircles

Thanks for your thoughts, enjoyyourshoes

Have you looked long and hard at why you need to spend, there are a few hints in your notes, but I assume there is something more tangible lurking?
I reckon there will be fags, age, lotto, caffe late, booze, i'll just nip out for such at work, etc etc that are not within entertainment nor on soa.?

Nope. I don't smoke, don't drink (rarely even before getting pregnant), don't play the lottery, don't drink tea/coffee and work in the middle of nowhere so always have to take lunch in with me. I spend money on doing things. Obstacle course racing, paddle boarding, escape rooms, live music, visiting new places... That's mostly stopped since getting pregnant and being sick all the time and is unlikely to resume in the same way once baby is here!

£660 on pet insurance annually
Shop around for the car insurance too & pay annually as the monthly payments will come along with nice credit fees.

Pet insurance is £420, I also lumped in the cost of flea & worming treatments and annual vaccinations. Cannot shop around otherwise all conditions become pre-existing and therefore not covered in the same way. He's a very large dog, so insurance etc is more costly.
Both car insurances have just been renewed and I shop around each year. Would love to get to the position of being able to pay annually!

I like this:

You both should sit down and agree life goals and then decide how you can achieve this within your financial envelope.

And this:

Stop the drip drip drip of spending. Look at what this is costing you and the opportunity cost of becoming debt free.

Our over spending currently is still the few pounds here and there in the local shop. It's a focus of mine for next month.

Goingroundincircles

Thanks ES

You need a separate savings pot for your dog definitely as he seems to be pretty expensive re vet fees etc. How is the new contract going for your OH?

Good idea about a dog savings pot. It won't fit in our basic budget but I'll add one to our 'OH has earnt more' budget. We're way past the basic budget for May - I don't want to jinx anything until I see the money from several large invoices in the bank tomorrow but we should have lots spare to put in different pots. Including paternity leave - which had also recently occurred to me. I want to get enough aside to cover 1 week off as I think that will be enough to start with and then try to get some more put aside for another week off after a month or two. My sister is currently studying medicine and will be back for the summer so has offered to help and MIL works in a school so has also offered to help. My mum works part time and has said she'll take some time off too. So I certainly won't be alone!
Didn't realise you couldn't drive for 6 weeks after a CS though, eek!