Online Dating Tips

Pay_me

So been on online dating for a few months now and having absolutely no luck what so ever.

Literally had about 3 messages in that time one I set a date up (the girl who turned up was not the girl in the photos) the other two matches 1 fizzled out quickly after few message the second girl scared me lol. I had to block her so she couldn't phone, text, watsapp etc.

For the last 6 weeks I have not managed to get a single girl to reply to my initial messages. I stick to the rules, i.e. personalise the messages but nothing.

So anyone have any tips? (I'm 33)

Thanks

Dird

Post your profile

PeacefulWaters

1. Make sure your photos are half decent.
2. Make sure your written profile is a short summary of reality and well punctuated.
3. When you message anybody, keep it brief. A "hi" followed by a simple paragraph that perhaps refers to her profile and perhaps references a joint interest or something similar you did in the past.
4. Assume you won't get a reply. Enjoy it when you do.
5. When the chit chat does eventually come, ask open questions such as "what do you do for a living?", "how old are the kids?", "how often do you go to the gym?" (because they all go to the gym).
6. If a conversation is going well, try to get to the point after 4-6 exchanges. "You come across really well Racquel, when would be a good time to meet up?". Don't ramble on. You'll run out of chat for the date!
7. Have somewhere in mind to meet - she probably doesn't care where as long as it's relatively safe. My MO was a walk in a country park followed by a coffee shop. But if she rejects your venue "where would be best for you?" Is fine. Ideally within a few days.
8. Once a clear time and date is agreed don't bombard her with messages. Reply if she contacts you. More chat might give more opportunity for her to dislike something about you. Less chat may indicate you're losing interest.
9. Perhaps the day before a final confirmation of "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, see you at 2pm" confirms interest without giving her an easy chance to change her mind.

It's a numbers game. Nine out of ten women won't be interested in you. It's not personal, they just prefer somebody who looks or sounds different.

When you meet up it's about the chat, the eye contact and the smile. Let her do 70% of the talking because (1) she wants to and (2) you'll find out more about her - you might not want a second date with her.

If it's gone well, as you return to cars etc tell her you've enjoyed her company and will be in touch soon. Go for the kiss on the lips. If it's resisted you're done for. If it's reduced to a peck there's an outside chance. If it lasts a few seconds there's an attraction and you're in a very good place.

Don't contact her again the same day. Mid-morning the following day with a "Hi, how are you" message. Progress to "I enjoyed spending time with you yesterday" and, if it feels right, cut to the chase "When would you like to get together again?".

Second date? Half decent pub/restaurant for meal. Ideally within walking distance of where she lives.

Guidelines here are generic. Every lady is different. But overall just be yourself without being a !!!!. I probably contacted over 200 women online, got around 20 dates, enjoyed two short relationships, a one-off exciting date that was spectacular and have now found somebody who fits me perfectly.

The short relationships were ended unexpectedly. All going well. One seemed a little insecure and decided I was going to find someone better. The other, I think, decided I wasn't in it for the long term. She couldn't have been further from the truth.

I'm bald, overweight and not exactly gifted in the looks department. I'd have to say I felt that I was punching above my weight with every date.

Be selective, be yourself, have fun and if it doesn't happen for some time chill out and go to the pub with your mates.

davidwood123

Keep texting to a minimum.

No point finding out everything about them through text messages. Messages are for setting up the date. Do everything else face to face.

It's also a numbers game. Don't put all your effort into one girl. Be in contact and setting up dates with a few. That way, if one lets you down or isn't what you were expecting it won't matter.

And the number one rule......don't come across as needy!

jamiehelsinki

My experience was personal messages get you no where on pof.

I found a general message sent to a lot of women worked much better in getting a few responses than spending time on one message to one woman.

I was never rude or mentioned the s word but found it similar to life in that women say they want blah blah blah but actually want the opposite.

Women lie and really cheat with pictures on there, filters/old pics etc.

Archergirl

What else do you do? Have you joined clubs etc to try and meet people the 'normal' way? Do you have a friend with a dog you could take for a walk, lots of dog walking people love to chat......who knows who you may meet

z1a

" Online Dating Tips" - Don't. - Get out into the real world & meet real people.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

PeacefulWaters

z1a wrote: »

" Online Dating Tips" - Don't. - Get out into the real world & meet real people.

Strangely, I always found the ladies I net after online contact were real people.

Lolly88

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

a one-off exciting date that was spectacular.

Out of curiosity what was it that made that date exciting and spectacular and if it made such an impression why was it a one off?