The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

Puffinbertha

Wishing you every happiness in your new home, Kittie. Thank you for all the sensible advice you have given, you will be much missed on MSE xx

Karma...

silvasava

Mar - you are not alone! My gran wasn't ecstatic about small children but she always took time to explain things and take me to places that were interesting.i was the only grandchild though until I was about 17! I've only the one DGD & we have looked after her from time to time but as I was working full time it was never on a regular basis.

Cocketts

Mar - I've successfully (I think!) raised my two children to the grand old ages of 21 and 23.
Just when I thought it was safe to breath again, my parents moved next door - mum has had a stroke and dad has dementia and Alzheimers so I'm now caring for them.
It never really ends does it?

Softstuff

Mardatha, I have a feeling that there's many grandparents out there who wish they could have done the same! My mothers friend has had to look after her grandkids a fair bit, even to the extent of having to give up her part time job. She finally put her foot down when her daughter spoke of having a third, with the expectation she'd take care of that one too and go directly back to work!!!

Ivyleaf, hearing about your dgs and his buttering skills made me grin. I've been like that since I was a kid, frankly it's another benefit of me going low carb :rotfl: Though I bake a fantastic cake, my cake decorating skills bear more resemblance to "nailed it" than great british bake off too.

nursemaggie

I would love the chance to look after mine. I have not seen the eldest two for nearly 5 years and of course the youngest has only just moved to the UK. I hope to see more of him.

silvasava

I do find it heartbreaking when Grandparents are denied the opportunity to see their grandchildren, its so short sighted. Often its because someone has taken umbrage but they forget that they are denying their children too. My DH hasn't seen or been able to contact his daughter since she was 5 (now 49!) despite our attempts. She has been denied contact with grandmother, aunts and cousins,probably isn't aware she had any by now - such a shame.

fuddle

My MiL didn't look after my two but did her DD's. Paying childcare while I worked for the first 4years of eldest's life was crippling an already hard financial situation. When I gave up work when youngest was born, we crashed, and MiL took care of her DD's daughter while she went back to work after maternity leave. Even now, 9years on she cares for her before and after school, takes her to what ever club she goes to and leads her life by what her daughter wants her to do for her grand daughter. That's all well and good but she really needs to realise that she has two more grandchildren too. There's a bond between those two now. MiL dotes on the kid, she's spoilt, overweight, selfish and because she's an only child she gets her own way all the time. My two don't have the same rapport with their gran. That's OK but when my two are faced with the wants and wishes of the other one, my two lose out because they're easy to pacify, don't worry about make a fuss etc. The other one would have a tantrum or make life difficult for MiL and therefore whatever the other kid wants, she gets, to the detriment of my two. They see the unfairness and have done since being little. It's sad really. I understand it but there are flaws here and it is effecting relationships between gran and grandkids and cousins.

Islandmaid

My kids are 20,22 and 24 and GC have not appeared yet - I must admit to being scared of it happening, as I am not too tolerant of young children. Friends say that when it happens it all falls into place, but I am with Mar in that I don't want to feel obligated to look after GC all the time

Our neighbors are in their late 70's and look after their young grandsons approx 3 and 5 (second family for DD) most days, but appear not to be able to cope, just chuck em in the garden to play, the eldest one picks mercilessly on the younger one, with no input from the grandparents, so all we hear is the yelling and crying. Our neighbors are such a lovely couple, but I can't stand their grandchildren, sorry but it's true

Floss

Our boys are 30 & 32, grandchildren more likely from DS2 & DDiL but either way, I'd be pushed to provide child care as they live in London & DS1 in Leeds...we will be the ones they will be brought to visit for a few days in the holidays.
I've always said what my mum said to me: "your children, you sort the child care, I did my bit with you". Harsh, but in these days of scattered families the only real answer. If they lived locally and had kids then maybe it would be different.

mardatha

I'm ok with wee babies, and with school age children for short periods - I like teaching them bits and pieces about history etc. But not babysitting regularly and never ever nursery age :eek: