The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

nursemaggie

I get the black kitchen and bathroom. While living in a rented house we had a very dark brown bathroom suite. It was the bane of my life. I started work at 7am so was off before everyone else. I had two teenagers then.

The bathroom also had a dark brown shag pile carpet. I would clean it when I got home and then I would have to dry and polish the bathroom suit as just one drop of water dried on it would make the whole room look dirty. I hated it with a vengeance.

I too agree about CHS starting a handyman business. Leafleting areas where there are lots of bungalows and having notices in local shops is the way to advertise. He can build up a round and you can just move on to the next area he has work in. If he can do decorating that would be good too. There is a call for this sort of thing especially among the elderly and those who work long hours. Summer is the best time to do it.

monna I also agree about the cleaning as long as it does not smell too strongly of dog and they can see everything easily, no one would turn down a house that is dusty. If they did you would not want them because they would also be the really fussy type who make ridiculous demands on you all through the buying process.

moneyistooshorttomention

Hester, re the "stress box" idea for your OH - that sounds like a very good idea (if you can persuade him into it).

My job was stressful for rather a lot of years latterly - tries not to think JUST how many years the stress went on for.

I had to force myself to go in there each day for many a long year - because, basically TINA to quote a phrase (ie "There is/was no alternative"). The alternative would have meant me being in and out of work/NMW jobs/antisocial hours jobs/me not being the one to decide when my holidays were/no job pension. Put like that = there was no alternative then. I knew I was stuck there for literally years and the stress would probably be pretty continuous until 1 day before retirement so to say.

So I learnt in the end to "tune it out" at the end of a workday. I would mentally "pull down a metal barrier" behind me as I walked out the door at the end of each workday and managed to get myself into a frame of mind that I only remembered I had to do a job for my income JUST enough to make sure I got myself in there again at the start of the next workday.

I also took to going out darn nearly every single lunchtime break. I would take the minimum length lunchbreak I could manage (as it was flexitime - and therefore I could manage to only take 30 minutes) and I would just "Go Out" away from it at lunchbreak and do my shopping if I had any. If I hadn't - I'd just go out anyway and walk around and think "Well - at least there's a bit more exercise - so that's positive". I was fortunate, in hindsight, to be somewhere where I could rely pretty well on it not raining at inconvenient times (ie finding "rain stopped play" didnt tend to happen). So - more difficult if in an area where it rains more - but I guess there's ways round that (eg if working in a city - then there's big department stores/decent-size libraries/big indoor shopping malls etc one can go in).

So - I advocate the "metal blind being drawn down behind you" technique at the end of each workday personally.

greenbee

Hester - there's definitely a market for handyman services. Finding reliable people to do small jobs is almost impossible, so well worth CHS considering if the current job is getting too much. Actually, in your part of the world employment rates are high, so another permanent job may be a realistic option if he'd prefer that.

silver-oldie

Islandmaid wrote: »

Hi all,

SO I cant believe they let you fret and worry prior to the meeting, still not a nice position to be in, but hope that now the financial concerns have gone you can relax x

I suppose for them it's part of every life.

I'm struggling as what is best. It's my mother's life, she is difficult and can be hurtful, but she's my mother.
I do believe that there must be a quality to life as well as quantity.

Floss

Silver Oldie would it help to speak to an adviser in relation to your mums illness? this link has some useful info & contact numbers xx

Islandmaid

SO I really feel for you x

It's because of this type of issue that I have made my end of life wishes very clear to my family - hopefully not for a good while yet, but I don't want any of them tearing themselves apart with worry over what to do - just for the record I am DNR all the way, I DO NOT think that existing is the same as living - an entirely personal view, I know that everyone is different x

silver-oldie

Sorry but I can't get your link to work.

Mum's real 'problem' is she's nearly 102 years old

Floss

Try this one:

https://www.nhs.uk/Planners/end-of-life-care/Pages/what-it-involves-and-when-it-starts.aspx

silvasava

Afternoon all!
SO - difficult decisions to make as you want to do the best for your mum despite her age. Sending hugs to you.

My jaunt with DS1 was lovely - we took a detour on the way out for him to look at a drop leaf table in Ikeeya - he decided it wasn't nearly as nice as he'd thought. He did buy some other bits and pieces. My haul was a couple of pillow cases, a pack of paper napkins and a plastic box for our bread that's smaller than the one I use now.
The dinner was good and met some really lovely people - DS did a bit of gentle 'networking' . The hotel he booked was really nice and a good breakfast choice - all in all a lovely 'mini break'. Got to be up early tomorrow as the boats go back in the water - about 50 of them to lift in and I'm no 24! I've also got a birthday party to attend the same evening - think I wont be staying to the end as I'll be flagging

Hester - really feel for you as its no fun being the mental punchbag for the DH to release his worries and frustrations on - especially when there is very little you can do to resolve the situation for him - think you need the serious/stern convo with him very soon.
Monna - you do wonder at some peoples decorating ideas - when its very bold & dramatic its off putting as you know you're going to have to deal with it sooner rather than later and its an additional expense. Do hope there will be the perfect place for you at the right time very soon x

nursemaggie

Some good news for DS. He has passed all the tests to be the tenant so it is just down to arranging when he can move in. That needs to be discussed with the Landlord to looks if he may know next weeks.

I guess for me it depends on how many weeks they leave me before I can be told I can view and then another six or seven weeks before they say come and sign up NOW and then they will say. You can move in NOW! they don't like to give you even a seconds notice.