The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

silver-oldie

I can't thank you lovely folks enough, your suggestions and support mean so much.

I have decided to go tomorrow. My reason, I want our grandson to have good memories of his granddad, not of adults arguing at Christmas.
I'm still upset but will not say anything, well not tomorrow.

Good night

monnagran

Silver-oldie, You are quite right. The important thing is your relationship with your son and grandson, they will be yours for ever. Daughters in law can come and go. You are going to have to be very strong today though, just remember that there are a lot of people here surrounding you with loving support. You are not going into this alone.

MMF, be very firm about what happens next. Your father needs his family round him now, and if the PTB try to make that impossible they must have the error of their ways pointed out. I wonder if there is some organisation that could help. If they are saying that he doesn't need medical intervention, surely home is the best place for him, with some sort of care in place. Sorry, I don't know what else to suggest. You are bearing all this responsibility for both your parents and you must be worn out. For sure you are not going to forget this Christmas.

Mixed fortunes here. The vegan mince pies are going to make good feasts for the birds, I think. The vegan pastry is fine but the mincemeat has solidified into a thin, hard, toffee-like layer. A pity, as I enthusiastically made 2 dozen of them. Ah well, I will see if I can prise a few lids away from bottoms and re-fill the with some uncooked mincemeat. I've got plenty of that.

Other than that it is just 2 cakes that need filling and topping. Wrapping presents, finishing off the last knitted cushion cover, taking round the cards, jars of lemon curd and marmalade and semi-edible mincepies to a few neighbours , popping DIL's gammon into the oven and I'm good to go. Hopefully in time to sit down with a cup of coffee and listen to the Carol Service from Kings College on Radio 4. That is my Christmas and I don't much care what else does or doesn't happen as long as I have that.

Love and strength to you all.

THOUGHT FOR CHRISTMAS EVE

Santa, I have tried to be good. I can explain................

silver-oldie

monnagran wrote: »

Silver-oldie, You are quite right. The important thing is your relationship with your son and grandson, they will be yours for ever. Daughters in law can come and go. You are going to have to be very strong today though, just remember that there are a lot of people here surrounding you with loving support. You are not going into this alone.

Thank you monna, now I'm crying,

whiteguineapig

Monna said it so much better than I could

Pooky

I think you’re doing the right thing Silver - rise above it with the dignity to know you didn’t stoop to her level. (Although I’d have so loved to reply with, you’re ok, the pox have almost cleared now, just a few left on my backside, I’ll show you when we pop round)

I had a hideous relationship with my ex MIL and she used to tell people all kinds of nasty things about me. The day I left my ex, she phoned me and said I was so selfish for doing this to her and how was she supposed to deal with this.......not “we’re here for you and DD’s” like most normal people would. But every time I saw her I was polite, every time we had a birthday party etc she was invited (3hrs late to her granddaughters 4th birthday party as she decided to have her hair done).....but I was brought up properly and I know that I have nothing to feel guilty about, her opinion of me was hers to deal with, everyone else knows I’m ruddy lovely!

Nargleblast

silver-oldie wrote: »

Thank you monna, now I'm crying,

Well done, silver-oldie, get those Big Girl’s Pants on and go round there. Smile, be sociable, act like the well brought up lady that you are, not like those who slag off their family and friends on social media, oblivious to the fact that every man and his dog could read it.

We are all entitled to our opinions of our family but to post them on social media drags other people into the situation and causes hurt and embarrassment all round. After Christmas you can get her on her own and tell her quite civilly that she was out of order, and see her try to explain her way out of that.

Have a Merry Christmas, it may be difficult today but at least you have had your eyes opened as to who you can trust, and that can only be a good thing.

Nargleblast

And a very Merry Christmas to all Garden Fencers, wherever you are.

karcher

All the best for today silver-oldie.

Nothing more to add as it has all been said up there ^^^ by some more eloquent fencers than I x

Floss

MMF the fee system in Scotland is different to England - https://www.scot.gov.uk has the most recent changes.

Islandmaid

Hi all,

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas x

I know that some of you have less than perfect circumstances at the moment and my thought are with you all, you have made me focus on the importance of family it’s not about gifts and parties, it’s just about making memories with those we love most, so I thank you for that x

Whatever you are all doing be gentle with yourselves xx