Pulling out of sale due to terminal illness

REA17

I've had an offer accepted on a property and my mum has subsequently been given just a couple of months to live. We knew she had terminal cancer at the point when I made the offer (around 12 months) and the plan was for me to move to be near my parents to help care for mum and support my Dad afterwards. Unfortunately the cancer has progressed a lot quicker than expected and we were told yesterday it has spread, they are stopping chemo and she has 3 month's at the most, if not weeks.

I feel sick at the thought of going through with the house sale and am not sure I can continue with it. I feel horrendous at letting the seller down as we're only a few weeks from exchange and completion. My offer was only accepted over a higher offer because i was in a position to move quickly and the seller needed a quick sale. This is sadly the second time I've had to pull out of a house purchase due to Mum's illness - the first time was just before her diagnosis on a house that needed a lot of work and I knew I wouldn't have the time to invest in doing up after finding out her illness was terminal. The current house is fairly new and just needs a bit of cosmetic work, nothing major.

I 'm not sure whether to continue or what to say to the Estate Agents? I'm worried ill get blacklisted by them with it happening before!! Anyone else been in this situation and can offer some words of wisdom?!

Mickygg

In this situation I would think of yourself and yourself only. Do what you want to do not what you think you should do to please others.

You have an horrendous ordeal to go through and I can see why now you don't want to move.

If you now don't want to move, pull out and in any case you can just use a different EA to sell next time.

Red-Squirrel_2

If I was selling my house to you, I would completely understand and sympathise and wouldn't be annoyed at all.

I certainly wouldn't want you to be worrying about me at this time.

G_M

You have to do what is right for you.

If going through with the purchase no longer feels right, then pull out. You clearly have a good reason, which any reasonable estate agent and/or seller will understand. Yes, it will throw their plans into chaos but unfortunately that's the nature and risk of property sales. Until Exchange, nothing is fixed.

LKRDN_Morgan

Is it possible to go ahead with the sale but delay completion?

If you really want to pull out you need to tell the EA first thing tomorrow so the vendor can get the house back on the market. You're not the first to pull out and you won't be the last so don't worry at all about the EA's.Especially with your situation. It's completely understandable. I've pulled out twice with the same EA and they're currently dealing with my 3rd attempt at a purchase. Not going to lie it is awkward at times! But I don't let it worry me

robatwork

You haven't exchanged so you are really worrying about nothing.

There forums are full of buyers whose sellers have pulled out for the most trivial of reasons (or none at all). You have a very good reason so just tell the EA as much of the truth as you feel willing to share.

For clarity you haven't formed any contract with anybody and you won't go onto a blacklist.

SuboJvR

Very sorry to hear your sad news.

You need to do what feels right for you. Are you going to be in a position to be able to spend time with your mum, and dad, without buying the new house anyway (e.g. staying with them)?

There will always be more houses - you only have one mum. The next few months will be surreal, painful and when you look back - a bit of a blur. And there will be times you will want to drop everything and be with your family. So my advice here would be to do whatever you need to do to make that a possibility (maybe even rent near them if need be?)

In terms of financial support for your family, your mum will be eligible now for disability benefit - get in touch with Macmillan (there may be someone working with them at the hospital she is receiving care from?) and they can fast track this.

We weren't buying a home when we lost my mum, but I secured a job nearer to them and eventually received my new start date which ended up being 3 months after she passed away :-( It was such a difficult time, I felt powerless at times as I was so far away, but I spoke to my mum every single day. Even worse I work in cancer care so I was constantly harassing her medical team (they let her down in several ways, but in my heart I know it didn't affect the overall outcome). It was really stressful trying to sort probate stuff which I handled for dad, the funeral, getting a new place to rent, and then just trying to figure out how to exist in a world where my mum didn't

But... we did it.

Take care of yourself x

REA17

SuboJvR wrote: »

Very sorry to hear your sad news.

You need to do what feels right for you. Are you going to be in a position to be able to spend time with your mum, and dad, without buying the new house anyway (e.g. staying with them)?

There will always be more houses - you only have one mum. The next few months will be surreal, painful and when you look back - a bit of a blur. And there will be times you will want to drop everything and be with your family. So my advice here would be to do whatever you need to do to make that a possibility (maybe even rent near them if need be?)

In terms of financial support for your family, your mum will be eligible now for disability benefit - get in touch with Macmillan (there may be someone working with them at the hospital she is receiving care from?) and they can fast track this.

We weren't buying a home when we lost my mum, but I secured a job nearer to them and eventually received my new start date which ended up being 3 months after she passed away :-( It was such a difficult time, I felt powerless at times as I was so far away, but I spoke to my mum every single day. Even worse I work in cancer care so I was constantly harassing her medical team (they let her down in several ways, but in my heart I know it didn't affect the overall outcome). It was really stressful trying to sort probate stuff which I handled for dad, the funeral, getting a new place to rent, and then just trying to figure out how to exist in a world where my mum didn't

But... we did it.

Take care of yourself x

So sorry to hear of your loss - that must have been really tough living out of the area and having to juggle work and life.

Yes, I live fairly close by anyway (currently renting) but Mum's initial diagnosis had cemented my decision to buy in this area to be around for her. We just had no idea things would progress this fast as she seemed to be doing so well, then took a nosedive last week.

Absolutely agree that there'll be other houses but only one Mum - this is what I keep coming back to. It's a real shame but knowing what's ahead I want to focus completely on being there for Mum over the little time she has left rather than trying to split myself in two!

Going to contact the EA first thing tomo! Thanks everyone for the helpful comments :-)

xylophone

Your posts seem to indicate that you wish to have your own property near your parents' home so that you can support your father after your mother's passing.

If this is a property that you like and which requires minimal work, is it worth going through with the purchase?

If you are close to exchange then your mortgage/searches etc have been done - your sellers may be flexible on completion?

moneyistooshorttomention

Agreed with xylophone. You need a house anyway and this one doesnt sound like it needs much work. Even from your own pov - why not continue with buying it (there won't be that much hassle involved with that and you'll have a clear conscience).

What work there is to do on it can be left indefinitely until you feel you have the time/emotional energy to spare for it.

Red-Squirrel_2

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

you'll have a clear conscience).

Just to say, she'll have a clear conscience whether she buys it or not.