Pulling out of sale due to terminal illness

Rileybaby

If your intending on staying in the area and like the house then I'd continue with the sale as but just delay completion if you feel it's best. Did your mum help you choose the house? If so it may be a comfort to you in the future of one of the things you did together x

Sending you my love and prayers. Take care of yourself sweet.

warby68

So sorry about your mum and its no wonder you're finding it hard to decide what to do.

If that situation has made you undecided whether you want that house in the longer term, then yes let it go. If its the hassle factor when you only want to concentrate on mum but you still love and want the house then a deferred completion may work or a purchase without bothering to move in just yet if you can afford both homes for a while.

If you really aren't sure I'd probably say let it go. Some things just become 'tainted' by circumstances at the time and no matter how much you love the house today, its connection to this awful time can linger and put you off. It happened to me a long time ago. I was buying my first home when my dad died suddenly. I went ahead with the purchase because I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of pulling out but could never move in. Sold up and started again a couple of years' later.

REA17

Thanks - I can definitely relate to the feeling of things being 'tainted' by the circumstances! In hindsight, I've never been 100% sure about the house itself, it was more me putting pressure on myself to get a house and get everything in place while Mum was still relatively well. She didnt help me pick the house but I know would be delighted to know I'd bought my first house and to see me 'settled'. Now things have taken a different turn, I'm doubting the house itself and can't really imagine moving in and settling. Logically I know I could proceed with not too much hassle and delay (even if it meant not living there for a few months).

Im usually very decisive when it's something I want and if this was my dream house then I'd probably be doing everything in my power to hold onto it...

Think I may have answered my own question!!

SuboJvR

Often with things if you really think about how you would feel "what if.." you reach the conclusion that's right for you.

In this case it seemed to me that if you pulled out you would have some relief. Can easily go the other way though as you say if you loved the house, if your mum wanted you to have this house because it was absolutely perfect etc, "what if..." you didn't get it, you may be crushed.

Your mum will want you to be happy though. The little pieces that make that happen aren't important, e.g. She won't be fixated on a pile of brick and mortar, she will just want what you want I'm sure.

hazyjo

Sorry to hear your news.


I agree with others that if it was right, go ahead - but it doesn't sound like it's 100%. Please bear in mind though that a lot of first time buyers get very jittery. Make sure it's definitely not just FTBer's nerves.


Also wanted to add that the 'tainted' thing can affect your view of the house. I had a whirlwind three years once. I got married, eventually (nightmare journey) found a house to buy. Literally as soon as we put the offer on, my husband's dad was diagnosed with cancer which turned out to be terminal. My dad had also battled it for 6 or so years and his spread too the following year and he died. My husband had heart probs. My lovely cat died suddenly. Everything else went wrong too - friends lost parents, my BIL's best mate died, a best mate had a stillborn baby, my husband's best mate nearly lost his son (suicide attempt) - I literally had a list of 12 or so things as I kept forgetting major stuff that was going on in my life and my friends' lives. My marriage also went t**ts up and we divorced the following year. I couldn't wait to get out. In fact, I eventually just used to stay the night in my BF's one bed manky flat rather than my 4 bed 4 storey home. Hated it. I was only there 2 years.


It was tarnished - I tried not to let it be, but I blamed the house and felt it had horrendously bad vibes about it.


Good luck x