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The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.
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There is, dad doesn't have his card though and it is too far from his ward to get to (and he is not supposed to leave, he likes to be naughty though).
Mum will be fine, on her count up and based on her spend over the last few days, she had enough to last her more than a wee while yet, she was just doing her normal panic thing.
Sue,
Of course we are all hoping that your dad is going to be fine, but didn't you say there was a significant risk to this op? She doesn't sound at all prepared to cope without him on a practical level if the worst happens, or even if the op goes fine but he has other health problems that limit his mobility or keep him in hospital for a while. Are they at all open to things like getting her a cash/debit card of her own?Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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My mum couldn't drive, or do much really ..... dad had been covering up her inabilities for some years.
For a while I just had/used her debit card to get money out ... then I got proper PoA and then was issued with my own card (marked with the words PoA on it) ....
There are a gazillion things to think about when it's "your turn" ... and everybody's different.
I tried, for mum, online food ordering. She could get as far as the fridge/freezer, open them, remove something and microwave it. Nothing complex though .... trouble was, she didn't have the alertness to be able to receive inbound groceries, deal with the man at the door, be trusted to put fridge goods in the fridge nor freezer goods in the freezer. I did the first order by coming up with a food list, then discussing it with her and walking round a supermarket with her to look at things .... then I ordered it online and I was "lurking/watching" when it came. Utter disaster... she had no clue whatsoever really .... didn't happen a 2nd time. But then she didn't have her marbles.
Marbles are key. Mobility issues can be worked around .... marbles, you don't stand a chance.0 -
PasturesNew wrote: »Marbles are key. Mobility issues can be worked around .... marbles, you don't stand a chance.
Sometimes I feel that while Aged P still has all his marbles, they only roll extremely slowly these days. When he hasn't had enough sleep, he does quite a good impression of someone with dementia, but he's nearly "normal" - just impossible to hurry - when he's well rested.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
My partner and i are looking to buy our first home,
I have a bad credit rating but my partner doesnt.
Will we get approved for a mortgage through the bank ??0 -
My partner and i are looking to buy our first home,
I have a bad credit rating but my partner doesnt.
Will we get approved for a mortgage through the bank ??
Welcome to MSE. To get a meaningful response to your question you probably need to give more details. Try posting a new thread on the "Mortgages and endowments" board.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
Sue,
Of course we are all hoping that your dad is going to be fine, but didn't you say there was a significant risk to this op? She doesn't sound at all prepared to cope without him on a practical level if the worst happens, or even if the op goes fine but he has other health problems that limit his mobility or keep him in hospital for a while. Are they at all open to things like getting her a cash/debit card of her own?
She said the other day that if anything happened to him she would have to think about getting a debit card.
And no she isn't prepared at all, she is struggling to be in the house on her own at the moment. Mum and dad are old school, staying within traditional roles, dad still gives her house keeping each week!
Met the surgeon today, lovely man and willing to spend time talking and explaining, very down to earth. He puts the risk at 20%, normal for this op is 1-3%.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
Just thought I would add, it's mum's choice not to have a debit card, dad has tried to show her the delights of not having to go to the bank to get money out but she is having none of it!
Mind you, she is also the one with more money in the bank.....We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
She said the other day that if anything happened to him she would have to think about getting a debit card.
And no she isn't prepared at all, she is struggling to be in the house on her own at the moment. Mum and dad are old school, staying within traditional roles, dad still gives her house keeping each week!
Met the surgeon today, lovely man and willing to spend time talking and explaining, very down to earth. He puts the risk at 20%, normal for this op is 1-3%.
Sue, I completely understand the situation with your mum. Mine is the same. She does now have a debit card and has allowed me to do her budgeting and set up direct debits for her, but it is a bit of a slog. I take her to the post office every week as she insists on getting her money out, but I also have to put the pin number in for her and write the paying in slip to transfer the rest to her account.
It may be worth investigating power of attorney with your parents while they are still healthy. Not having one for my dad caused all sorts of problems for my dad. Not least of which was that he couldn't drive any more. He wasn't well enough to drive, nor was he well enough to speak to the car insurers to cancel his policy. They would not speak to me. As a result £57 per month came out of his account every month which I was powerless to stop until he died. What a waste.Please stay safe in the sun and learn the A-E of melanoma: A = asymmetry, B = irregular borders, C= different colours, D= diameter, larger than 6mm, E = evolving, is your mole changing? Most moles are not cancerous, any doubts, please check next time you visit your GP.
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vivatifosi wrote: ».
It may be worth investigating power of attorney with your parents while they are still healthy. Not having one for my dad caused all sorts of problems for my dad. Not least of which was that he couldn't drive any more. He wasn't well enough to drive, nor was he well enough to speak to the car insurers to cancel his policy. They would not speak to me. As a result £57 per month came out of his account every month which I was powerless to stop until he died. What a waste.
Power of attorney (for both care and finances) is in the process of being registered for both of them. All documents sent off by the solicitor about 3/4 or so weeks ago, we had a talk after the surgeon said about this operation and they decided it would be the best way forward to have it all sorted as a just in case thing.
Mum had been thinking about it ever since my aunt had had so many problems after my uncle had been diagnosed with vascular dementia, they of course had to go the more expensive and involved route to getting it as he had lost (some) capacity.We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.0 -
Once the "better" one is off the market, yours takes top spot - so all good.I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0
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