The Nice People Thread, No.16: A Universe of Niceness.

PasturesNew

GDB2222 wrote: »

....Most sellers would understand how vital that is for the children's feelings of security and would want to cooperate.

We were from the generation where children were told... and the seller couldn't give a flying ... as we'd already been gazumped, but got it again with a couple of minor "extras", so maybe that fell through and he came back to us, or maybe dad negotiated a higher price with the minor extras.

Children don't need to be exposed to everything that's going on while parents are choosing/deciding in case they choose/decide to do nothing... tell the children it's happening when it's assured... that means that life is more certain/assured and you're not sucked into parents' dilemmas and concerns and anxieties.

Also, it might be a thing where there is "choice" involved... if you're buying a house because "that's what you can afford", rather than having a vast number available to choose from, then "this is it" and it's non negotiable because anything else/better isn't within reach.

As for the seller... it was pre "gas check" days, being about 50 years ago ... and there was a carbon monoxide leak of some sort, that my sibling suffered from while we were absent from the house, so the boiler had to be replaced within the first month or so, right after us moving in and Xmas.

PasturesNew

Dressing rooms... is a bedside cabinet needed ... when there's clearly lots of space for one?

I've got a pair of bedside cabinets which I could put beside beds, except then I'd have to move other/larger things I've got there... there's LOTS of space for one, that's clear.... so would one have to actually put one there?

I think not.

I think I'd be best off flogging the pair to free up the space to be honest. They're mahogany veneer, so don't even "go" with anything else in the house at all....

Votes please.

PasturesNew

Well, that's 15 2-litre plastic bottles crushed and in the recycling, kept "in case" as I had an idea to try ... won't be trying it now, so in the bin they go!

And the shelf's cleared to take the mini oven ... so I can start thinking about the table... I've no chairs. Table was "temporary", just a £19 Ikea one with screw on legs.... never needed to sit at a table, so never got round to getting "a proper eating table"...

And I've a small rubbish bag to take to the tip, bin day's not until next week, it's a small bag, I'd rather just take it myself today, it's not far.

Jackmydad

GDB2222 wrote: »

We took our children to see any house we were thinking of buying. They needed to see where they'd be moving to. We would have been pretty put off if the owner had refused.

As you'd expect people to. We've had several lots of viewers with their children for past sales. In fact the last place we sold was sold to a couple who brought their child with them.
No problem at all for us. And we expect children to be children.
Some are way over the top though.

Pyxis

Interesting views on taking children to houses.

I wouldn't have dreamed of taking mine with me to just view houses.

I didn't even take them to see it once I'd had an offer accepted, just in case it all fell through. It would have been a bad enough disappointment for me if that had happened, (and it nearly did), without it possibly being so for them as well.

However, once contracts were exchanged, yes, then I did take them to see it. It was in a completely new town in a different part of the country as well, so I also needed to show them the town.

They were quite young, though, still in single figures. I don't know what I would have done if they had been teenagers, say.

vivatifosi

I would have no problem with children visiting with their parents. However if they misbehaved to the level of silver's visitors, I would also have no problem with asking them to leave. Tbh, if their life is that chaotic, chances are they would be a nightmare to negotiate and be in a chain with.

ivyleaf

I've lived in quite a lot of different houses and flats, due first to my father's job (he was "posted" every few years as if he were in the armed forces) and then to my husband's job (actually in the armed forces) and I never saw any of them prior to moving in! It was just !This is our new home." Different circs, of course, as there was no question of choosing it, we were just "allocated" a place.

LydiaJ

GDB2222 wrote: »

I'm very, very sorry that you were treated like that. I'm not suggesting that you should have been involved in the buying decision at such a young age. But, moving house is pretty traumatic, and you should have been shown the new house, and your room pointed out, well before you moved in. Most sellers would understand how vital that is for the children's feelings of security and would want to cooperate.

PasturesNew wrote: »

We were from the generation where children were told...

To some extent it's a generational thing, but it's also a difference between different families, even within the same generation. I can't say whether Aged P and my mum would have taken us on viewings when we were small. As most NP will already be aware, they didn't move house between 1959 and autumn 2017. I'll ask him what he thinks they would have done if they had moved, but he's asleep now. I'll see what he thinks when he wakes up.

My kids came to some viewings but not others, depending on convenience. Some times I viewed houses during the school day on my day off so obviously they didn't come. Other times I viewed houses when they were not at school, and they did come. IIRC they came to the second viewing of the house I eventually bought, but not the first one.

They weren't involved in the decision making about which house to buy, but once the sale was agreed, I let them choose paint colours for their rooms and help with the painting. That was made easier by the fact that I was able to overlap my rental house with the one I bought, so that the new boiler etc were all dealt with, and then we'd repainted the rooms that needed it, before the removals people brought the furniture in.

Of course, since we were only moving from one side of town to the other side of the same town, and we were all staying in the same jobs and schools, it wasn't as big a deal for the kids as moving across the country. Even so, DD found it quite tough, I think. She was very happy to move to the new house (bigger bedroom etc, opportunity to choose own paint instead of landlord's choice) but wanted to go back and at least look at the old (rented) house from the outside on several occasions in the first year or so after we moved.

Returning to the subject of sleep, have any other NP read this
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-We-Sleep-Science-Dreams/dp/0141983760/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1527689074&sr=8-1
I've been given it by a friend and am finding it fascinating.

Pyxis

Some people have a death wish.

Yesterday, returning late at night from AmDram, and turning into my road, which isn't the most brightly-lit of roads, , I was confronted with a young man on a bike, no lights, weaving across the middle of the road, with various friends, some on foot, some on skateboards, also all over the the road, also weaving all over the place.

I was going quite slowly anyway, but I had to slow almost to a standstill, while they decided they might move onto the pavement!

These weren't children but late teens.


Good job I'm quite a gentle driver, and tend to poodle at night because of the frequent encounters with foxes crossing the roads.

PasturesNew

Pyxis wrote: »

Good job I'm quite a gentle driver, and tend to poodle at night because of the frequent encounters with foxes crossing the roads.

The road is a dead end, ultimately, so everybody on it is going to/from the many businesses.... even so, there are a few drivers/day, driving "throaty" cars, who do like to stick their foot down and give it a good old hammering! Not sure what the speed limit is, top of the road is 40, you turn in and it might still be 40 just because nobody's thought it important enough to change down to 30, after all "nobody's going anywhere as they all know it's a dead end, so there's no hurry"....

The dead end bit is about 300-400 yards/metres away. All businesses, you're either working there, or delivering there... warehouses/commercial buildings.

I just checked on Google streetview, it's 30 here, although many probably don't see that sign as they've just turned off a 40 into here and it's a few feet round the corner, so not clear..... and even I'd never noticed it before (not looked before, but you usually manage to see a sign at some point and be aware).