Help! Estranged father...

Utsybab

I'm new here and come cap in hand needing some serious and helpful advise.

My estranged father has recently died some 200 mikes from where I live. He has an elderly sister who lives local to him who initially stated she would be able to help organise things but has now relented as quite clearly she cannot cope.

I really need to understand where I stand on a few things really.

Am I responsible for organising his affairs? As his closest relative I am unsure if I HAVE to or if I can wash my hands of the matter. This may sound callous but there are deep reasons why he was estranged from myself and my sister.

Will I have to take on the burden of any of his debts? From his sister (my auntie) tells me he is in a rather large amount of personal debt with literally zero assets. Debts range from utilities and rent arrears to payday loans and credit cards.

The biggest one is possibly the funeral. I don't want nor do I have the means to pay for anything like this. Who is ultimately responsible for these costs?

All in all its a huge mess both emotionally, financially and practically so any advise and help would be really appreciated.

TIA

TonyMMM

There is no obligation on you to do anything or pay for anything.

Yorkshireman99

Utsybab wrote: »

I'm new here and come cap in hand needing some serious and helpful advise.

My estranged father has recently died some 200 mikes from where I live. He has an elderly sister who lives local to him who initially stated she would be able to help organise things but has now relented as quite clearly she cannot cope.

I really need to understand where I stand on a few things really.

Am I responsible for organising his affairs? As his closest relative I am unsure if I HAVE to or if I can wash my hands of the matter. This may sound callous but there are deep reasons why he was estranged from myself and my sister.

Will I have to take on the burden of any of his debts? From his sister (my auntie) tells me he is in a rather large amount of personal debt with literally zero assets. Debts range from utilities and rent arrears to payday loans and credit cards.

The biggest one is possibly the funeral. I don't want nor do I have the means to pay for anything like this. Who is ultimately responsible for these costs?

All in all its a huge mess both emotionally, financially and practically so any advise and help would be really appreciated.

TIA

You are not responsible for any of the debts nor do you have to pay for the funeral. The local authority or the hospital where he died have to pay for the funeral if there are no funds. If you wish you can do absoutely nothing.

Savvy_Sue

You'd have no obligation to do anything at all, but given that his estate sounds insolvent, the advice would be to walk away, fast.

Ultimately the local authority will organise a funeral if no-one else does.

We are all singing from the same hymn sheet ... just to add that if anyone contacts you, you can just say "I am not administering my father's estate." You can add to that "And I do not know who is", and "please do not contact me again about this matter."

If your aunty puts pressure on, you can suggest she comes on here for advice but it will be the same!

Mojisola

Utsybab wrote: »

My estranged father has recently died

Am I responsible for organising his affairs?

No. You don't have to do anything at all.

Will I have to take on the burden of any of his debts? From his sister (my auntie) tells me he is in a rather large amount of personal debt with literally zero assets. Debts range from utilities and rent arrears to payday loans and credit cards.

It sounds as if his estate is insolvent - if so, the advice would be not to touch it with a barge pole regardless of your relationship with him.

The biggest one is possibly the funeral. I don't want nor do I have the means to pay for anything like this. Who is ultimately responsible for these costs?

You don't have to have any involvement with the funeral.

If no-one else will arrange it and pay for it, the council or the NHS (depending where he died) will organise a basic funeral.

Utsybab

Thanks all so much it's very much appreciated.

In some ways I responsible even though I have had no contact for some time but think I will heed all advice here.

Thanks all

Mojisola

Utsybab wrote: »

In some ways I responsible even though I have had no contact for some time but think I will heed all advice here.

Be prepared for people to put pressure on you - "But he was your Dad!" - there are usually good reasons why relatives don't have contact.

Yorkshireman99

Mojisola wrote: »

Be prepared for people to put pressure on you - "But he was your Dad!" - there are usually good reasons why relatives don't have contact.

I would reinforce that. Even local authorities have been known to try and bully relatives into paying. Don't let them!

Geoff1963

there are deep reasons why he was estranged from myself and my sister

There is no obligation on you to do anything or pay for anything.

I disagree.
You have a moral obligation to pay some money to the Dom Perignon company.

TonyMMM

Be prepared for having to explain this to his sister, who will probably then feel she has no choice but to arrange/pay for the funeral.

Utsybab

I disagree.
You have a moral obligation to pay some money to the Dom Perignon company.

Touche!!!

Thanks again all!