Teens and holidays

balletshoes

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Choose where and what you want, if he isn't interested, go without him.

I agree with this, it sounds to me like your teen doesn't really want to go anywhere. Ask him if he does want to go with you on holiday, or if he'd be just as happy staying with his grandparents. If he says the latter, you go on holiday without him. You do want to go, I don't think your son is that bothered.

eta - last year I took my 15-year old to Greece for a week in the summer holidays, first beachy holiday we've gone on together just the 2 of us. She didn't really enjoy it, she's far more into "doing and seeing" stuff. We did some of that, and we ate out each evening and had a stroll etc, but I won't do that again with her, as its just not her thing. I'd go on my own though!

System

thorsoak wrote: »

Do you remember how much it hurt when you gave birth to him? You thought that you wouldn't be able to take much more,but you did - and it didn't stop until he was born.

Now, you are giving birth to an adult - and this too will hurt - and will until he is an adult. So you have to put up with the pain and hurt of refusing him any internet connection unless he earns it - and you have to be the adult.

I got the impression from the username that mutley might be the father, not the mother?

Gloomendoom

avogadro wrote: »

I got the impression from the username that mutley might be the father, not the mother?

I did too. I'd also stamp on the damned Xbox.

DCFC79

If I were to get out of going to a family funeral I would get a right rollicking, if it was due to me wanting to play on the PS2 back in the day the power cord would have been cut. You were too soft in the funeral instance.

Marvel1

With regards to the funeral the reason is bad but i wouldnt make someone go, it's a personal choice and they are a bit depressing. Let's be honest would you want somewhere who was forced and showed they were forced?

elsien

No, but teenager does seem to be learning that if he has a tantrum he gets his own way which isn't a great attitude to carry into later life.

kelpie35

I am sorry, but you are the parent, and by the looks of things he is controlling you.

You have allowed this behavior to continue, I really think it is you that needs the help to understand what a parent really is.

God help him when he leaves school and goes out into the big wide world.

Savvy_Sue

I asked three teenagers once where they'd like to go on holiday - choose where you like, just give me a reason. It went like this:

DS1: Australia. Why? Because it's about as far away as you can get.

DS3: Cuba. I pointed out they wouldn't let him in without giving him a hair cut: it was long and lush at the time. OK, he said, South Africa - then no, not there, it was too dangerous.

DS2: I hear [our home town] is very nice at that time of year.

EVENTUALLY, one of them said "I think some of our online friends are going to have a sort-of meet somewhere in America sometime over the summer." When I finally extracted enough information to make a booking, we ended up spending a few days in New York, and then going to Wildwood for the 'meet'.

I bought several cheap guidebooks for NY and asked them each to look at one and come up with ideas. Nothing.

Eventually I gave up, and on the plane they became slightly more responsive. But it was like pulling teeth ...

Mind you, they were all allegedly busy revising for exams rather than gaming.

getmore4less

mutley74 wrote: »

.........
Last month he say's he would be offered in an overseas trip and short UK break (finally!!). So I tell him he has to help with choosing a destination, what to see, do, places to stay etc. I even told him he can check out flights etc, and we can discuss and book together.
........
I want him to put him some research effort and be part of any holiday.

Am I unreasonable? So far Son has not made any effort, he selected a destination but nothing else, when I ask him, he tells me he is "too busy" (with gaming).
..........

MY guess he just picked a destination to get you off his back

I did tell him again, as not heard anything for 3 weeks from him

and it worked if that was 3 weeks ago.

Why are you looking at DIY(Place, flights etc), why not start with a package deal then investigate if DIY would be cheaper.

have you set a budget, any parameters like airports, max flight time etc.

where did he say he wanted to go?

justme111

Dear Mutley, the issue here is not teen and holiday. The issue is that you as a parent so not have control.
Going back to your question - why not to chose a couple of options and let him chose one? That would be easier for him. Another option is to sit with him and do research together. Either of the above should work. Failing that just book for two accepting that half of cost could be lost if he refuses to go. If you can not stomach chances of that loss just warn him you will book for yourself only and do so. I feel for you , good luck in choosing and further parenting.