Just started nursery but scared to go to the toilet, advice please!

Schoolworker

I'm had no problems with my daughter apart from 1 week where we had regular accidents. My son was totally different as he was nearly 3yrs - we did try before this but he was not ready so kept on having accidents. He would only go to the potty so in nursery I handed in a potty decorated in dino stickers so he knew this was his but they had to walk down a corridor to get to the toilet in the 2-3yrs room. We for less afraid of the toilet at Christmas/January at home and he got a reward. When he went to the bigger room they could just go to the toilet when needed as it was next to the room and no problem with the toilet at this time. Is your daughter OK with all the nursery staff in herroom otherwise just continue to encourage to go often as they do get distracted with all the new toys in nursery. It will work out.

System

The post makes it sound like the child was sitting in her own urine for quite a while. I would be concerned about this. Staff should be able to change the child's pants if she has had an accident.

glentoran99

avogadro wrote: »

The post makes it sound like the child was sitting in her own urine for quite a while. I would be concerned about this. Staff should be able to change the child's pants if she has had an accident.

Indeed, We were asked to leave spare pants and trousers in nursery in case they had an accident.

ravernoloo

She has spare trousers and knickers left with her, I guess they didn't think to see if she was wet as she was just reading the books. She isn't afraid of the toilets as she goes by herself in the nursery when I am there and went today on their toilets as I was getting her changed from her wet clothes. Maybe it will just take time, she is quite a shy girl so that's probably it. I don't get cross or angry with her but I just feel frustrated as I cannot control it.

Kynthia

A few nurseries told me that children going only 1 day a week sometimes struggle to settle as it's not frequent enough to get used to it there. Does she show any other signs that she's not settling?

Otherwise shyness, unfamiliarity with asking non-family, or distraction could be the problem. Do they regularly sit the children on a potty or toilet even if they say they don't need to go? Is this a day nursery that has children from babies, or a play school that only takes children from 2 years as the former will usually be better at dealing with this as they deal with children during potty training? If a play school then you might want to check how they are dealing with this step by step as tgey can vary greatly in how they deal with toilets and helping the children.

glentoran99

Do the have to ask to go? My sons nursery the kids are encouraged just to go when they need

rach_k

I think it's quite common for fairly recently potty trained children to have little set-backs, especially when going new places, seeing new toys, meeting new people etc, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I would just help her gain confidence to ask, as well as asking staff to take her regularly (they probably do anyway - even in Reception class here, they take a line of children every hour or so). With my (very shy) child, I would probably had to have taken her to the loo one day, the next time I'd take her but wait outside the toilets, then next time take her to her key worker to ask to go, then finally send her on her own to ask to go, but if she's a bit braver you could probably skip a few steps - I would just want to work up to standing back while SHE tells her key worker she needs to go. If she doesn't have to ask, build her confidence in just going. If she's already started to make friends, you could also suggest to her that she goes to the toilet whenever they go. It'll remind her and also make it fun/not scary.

ravernoloo

Kynthia wrote: »

A few nurseries told me that children going only 1 day a week sometimes struggle to settle as it's not frequent enough to get used to it there. Does she show any other signs that she's not settling?

Otherwise shyness, unfamiliarity with asking non-family, or distraction could be the problem. Do they regularly sit the children on a potty or toilet even if they say they don't need to go? Is this a day nursery that has children from babies, or a play school that only takes children from 2 years as the former will usually be better at dealing with this as they deal with children during potty training? If a play school then you might want to check how they are dealing with this step by step as tgey can vary greatly in how they deal with toilets and helping the children.

No other signs, she likes going and seems to enjoy it as never wants to leave when I come to get her. Its a day nursery who have children from 3 months old. The staff said she will get there in the end but I hate the feeling of her feeling so uncomfortable.

She's going 2 days a week from September but I can only afford 1 day a week at the moment due to being on maternity. Unfortunately I don't qualify for free hours until she is 3

penguingirl

Is she confused by having a potty in your lounge at home? I'm not a parent (yet! Induction tomorrow), but one of the nurseries I looked round discussed that they only have potties in bathrooms to try and develop the idea of only going in the bathroom (regardless of using potty or toilet). So if she only needs a wee she may find the effort of going to the bathroom at nursery a bit more than at home? Good luck! Hopefully she'll be sorted in a couple of weeks

flowrypot

I would just send her in a pullup for a few weeks and get the staff to encourage her to go , it will sort itself out in time . Do the toilets offer much privacy ? As even some young children don't like this aspect if so perhaps her keyworker could find a quieter time to take her .