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Boy meets girl
The_all_new_me_2
Posts: 30 Forumite
Its been a very long time since this happened, I’ve never spoken about it, maybe I need to?
Like a lot of people after full time education I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. Having grown up in a small parochial town the lure of London to a 20 year old was huge. Despite not knowing anyone I went up 1 weekend and found a small room to rent in a shared flat. For a while it was absolutely fantastic but being on my own at a time when social media meant a 20 pence coin and a BT phone box it felt increasingly lonely. A couple of minutes down the road was a place looking for someone to work part-time. Seemed like a good idea so thats what I did.
I noticed this woman about the same age (she was actually a year younger almost to the day) and though “Hmmmm she’s kinda cute!” (Cute??? !!!!!!!)As time went on I noticed that my feelings towards her were completely different to anything that I’d ever experienced. Before it had always been she “looks nice” lets go out. With her, yes, she was beautiful, intelligent but it was just so, so much more… I just hugely liked being around her. I was absolultely smitten, head over heals, howl at the moon in love. She was the one. It didn’t take long for it to became completely obvious to everyone else as well.
Its hard to put into words what happened next. The vast majority of people working for this company came from the local area, lots of them went to school together, they’d known each other and families forever. I admit I wasn’t particularly liked. I remember one person telling me I was different because “I talked all posh”. Everyone closed ranks and I got thrown to the wolves. From her point of view here was this unliked bloke who’d come out of nowhere had bowled her over in a Tsunami of unwanted emotion. Nothing was never going to happen. One minute she’d be snarling at me next she’d flutter her eyes throw me a rope and watch in amusement with everyone else as I hung myself with it. I knew what I was doing and yet I just couldn’t stop. I was there alone I didn’t have any friends to sit me down and beat ten bales of crap out of me till I saw sense. Admittedly a couple of people did take me to one side for a quiet word completley independently of what was happening as it was so horrible. There was obviously a lot more that went on but that gives a sense of it.
After about 6 months I knew that things were coming to an end… and then they did like a guillotine, a light switch was flicked and it was over. I spoke to her and she looked at me with complete contempt and said “Go away, leave me alone”, “… but I’m never going to see you again” and she just walked away. I was totally and utterly, utterly destroyed. I went back to this small room I was renting, after a few days I just had to get out. The landlord said I had to give a months notice so I paid up and left that afternoon.
Went home and slept in my own room spoke to friends went out everything slowly returned to normal again. Doorbell rang opened the door Sophie, a very good friend (who I still know) was there “So, you’ve finally come back then……” she leans on the doorframe “Wanna girlfriend?” I nearly burst into tears. The odd thing is that after having been in London I couldn’t stay in my home town, it just felt too narrow minded & small town. I left for good about 3 months later.
Fast forward a very large number of years to last night. It was too hot to sleep I was looking at the bedside clock, 03:12. She popped into my mind to remind me how long ago it was, how young I was then and how old I am now, what a complete !!!! I was and that maybe just maybe if things had been different who knows what might have happened and that was completely down to me, that it was me that screwed it up.
I desperately want to be over her, I know that I’ll never see her again and I genuinely don’t want to see her… how horribly creepy would that be? I have no reason to believe that she isn’t now happily married, with grown children yet even now when I think back to her ice blue eyes, a smile that lit up her entire face and the way she said “init” it still makes my chest tighten and my mouth go dry. Deep deep down inside there is a wound that even after all these years just won’t heal
Am Sad.
Like a lot of people after full time education I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. Having grown up in a small parochial town the lure of London to a 20 year old was huge. Despite not knowing anyone I went up 1 weekend and found a small room to rent in a shared flat. For a while it was absolutely fantastic but being on my own at a time when social media meant a 20 pence coin and a BT phone box it felt increasingly lonely. A couple of minutes down the road was a place looking for someone to work part-time. Seemed like a good idea so thats what I did.
I noticed this woman about the same age (she was actually a year younger almost to the day) and though “Hmmmm she’s kinda cute!” (Cute??? !!!!!!!)As time went on I noticed that my feelings towards her were completely different to anything that I’d ever experienced. Before it had always been she “looks nice” lets go out. With her, yes, she was beautiful, intelligent but it was just so, so much more… I just hugely liked being around her. I was absolultely smitten, head over heals, howl at the moon in love. She was the one. It didn’t take long for it to became completely obvious to everyone else as well.
Its hard to put into words what happened next. The vast majority of people working for this company came from the local area, lots of them went to school together, they’d known each other and families forever. I admit I wasn’t particularly liked. I remember one person telling me I was different because “I talked all posh”. Everyone closed ranks and I got thrown to the wolves. From her point of view here was this unliked bloke who’d come out of nowhere had bowled her over in a Tsunami of unwanted emotion. Nothing was never going to happen. One minute she’d be snarling at me next she’d flutter her eyes throw me a rope and watch in amusement with everyone else as I hung myself with it. I knew what I was doing and yet I just couldn’t stop. I was there alone I didn’t have any friends to sit me down and beat ten bales of crap out of me till I saw sense. Admittedly a couple of people did take me to one side for a quiet word completley independently of what was happening as it was so horrible. There was obviously a lot more that went on but that gives a sense of it.
After about 6 months I knew that things were coming to an end… and then they did like a guillotine, a light switch was flicked and it was over. I spoke to her and she looked at me with complete contempt and said “Go away, leave me alone”, “… but I’m never going to see you again” and she just walked away. I was totally and utterly, utterly destroyed. I went back to this small room I was renting, after a few days I just had to get out. The landlord said I had to give a months notice so I paid up and left that afternoon.
Went home and slept in my own room spoke to friends went out everything slowly returned to normal again. Doorbell rang opened the door Sophie, a very good friend (who I still know) was there “So, you’ve finally come back then……” she leans on the doorframe “Wanna girlfriend?” I nearly burst into tears. The odd thing is that after having been in London I couldn’t stay in my home town, it just felt too narrow minded & small town. I left for good about 3 months later.
Fast forward a very large number of years to last night. It was too hot to sleep I was looking at the bedside clock, 03:12. She popped into my mind to remind me how long ago it was, how young I was then and how old I am now, what a complete !!!! I was and that maybe just maybe if things had been different who knows what might have happened and that was completely down to me, that it was me that screwed it up.
I desperately want to be over her, I know that I’ll never see her again and I genuinely don’t want to see her… how horribly creepy would that be? I have no reason to believe that she isn’t now happily married, with grown children yet even now when I think back to her ice blue eyes, a smile that lit up her entire face and the way she said “init” it still makes my chest tighten and my mouth go dry. Deep deep down inside there is a wound that even after all these years just won’t heal
Am Sad.
0
Comments
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I think you have to accept that "first love" can be a massive new emotion for anybody to deal with and for some reason often feels very different from any subsequent emotion you feel for a member of the opposite sex.
Sometimes , but rarely so, because people develop and move on the memories and emotions of your first love end up staying with you for a lifetime. For most people it starts the chain of what "being a human being" means as we explore relationships with other people and learn about their habits, traits and personalities.and how they interact, for better or worse, with us.
We all behave like idiots at times when we're young. Learning from our behaviour is what turns us into responsible adults. But you shouldn't be sad. Your dream girl is now probably an overweight menopausal woman with saggy boobs who you wouldn't even recognise if you passed her in the street. Keep your sweet memories where they belong. In a box to be opened and enjoyed occasionally but no longer relevant to the man you are today.
You sounds as if perhaps your present life is rather devoid of the joys that can make you happy today. That is perhaps the more relevant thing to be concerned about, and to try and address if it is n issue0 -
Are you not happy with your partner that you mention on another thread?0
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Am Sad
So is your creative writing tutor.0 -
The_all_new_me wrote: »Its been a very long time since this happened, I’ve never spoken about it, maybe I need to?
Like a lot of people after full time education I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. Having grown up in a small parochial town the lure of London to a 20 year old was huge. Despite not knowing anyone I went up 1 weekend and found a small room to rent in a shared flat. For a while it was absolutely fantastic but being on my own at a time when social media meant a 20 pence coin and a BT phone box it felt increasingly lonely. A couple of minutes down the road was a place looking for someone to work part-time. Seemed like a good idea so thats what I did.
I noticed this woman about the same age (she was actually a year younger almost to the day) and though “Hmmmm she’s kinda cute!” (Cute??? !!!!!!!)As time went on I noticed that my feelings towards her were completely different to anything that I’d ever experienced. Before it had always been she “looks nice” lets go out. With her, yes, she was beautiful, intelligent but it was just so, so much more… I just hugely liked being around her. I was absolultely smitten, head over heals, howl at the moon in love. She was the one. It didn’t take long for it to became completely obvious to everyone else as well.
Its hard to put into words what happened next. The vast majority of people working for this company came from the local area, lots of them went to school together, they’d known each other and families forever. I admit I wasn’t particularly liked. I remember one person telling me I was different because “I talked all posh”. Everyone closed ranks and I got thrown to the wolves. From her point of view here was this unliked bloke who’d come out of nowhere had bowled her over in a Tsunami of unwanted emotion. Nothing was never going to happen. One minute she’d be snarling at me next she’d flutter her eyes throw me a rope and watch in amusement with everyone else as I hung myself with it. I knew what I was doing and yet I just couldn’t stop. I was there alone I didn’t have any friends to sit me down and beat ten bales of crap out of me till I saw sense. Admittedly a couple of people did take me to one side for a quiet word completley independently of what was happening as it was so horrible. There was obviously a lot more that went on but that gives a sense of it.
After about 6 months I knew that things were coming to an end… and then they did like a guillotine, a light switch was flicked and it was over. I spoke to her and she looked at me with complete contempt and said “Go away, leave me alone”, “… but I’m never going to see you again” and she just walked away. I was totally and utterly, utterly destroyed. I went back to this small room I was renting, after a few days I just had to get out. The landlord said I had to give a months notice so I paid up and left that afternoon.
Went home and slept in my own room spoke to friends went out everything slowly returned to normal again. Doorbell rang opened the door Sophie, a very good friend (who I still know) was there “So, you’ve finally come back then……” she leans on the doorframe “Wanna girlfriend?” I nearly burst into tears. The odd thing is that after having been in London I couldn’t stay in my home town, it just felt too narrow minded & small town. I left for good about 3 months later.
Fast forward a very large number of years to last night. It was too hot to sleep I was looking at the bedside clock, 03:12. She popped into my mind to remind me how long ago it was, how young I was then and how old I am now, what a complete !!!! I was and that maybe just maybe if things had been different who knows what might have happened and that was completely down to me, that it was me that screwed it up.
I desperately want to be over her, I know that I’ll never see her again and I genuinely don’t want to see her… how horribly creepy would that be? I have no reason to believe that she isn’t now happily married, with grown children yet even now when I think back to her ice blue eyes, a smile that lit up her entire face and the way she said “init” it still makes my chest tighten and my mouth go dry. Deep deep down inside there is a wound that even after all these years just won’t heal
Am Sad.
Why are you not over her yet ?
You have a partner now.0 -
The_all_new_me wrote: »Its been a very long time since this happened, I’ve never spoken about it, maybe I need to?
Like a lot of people after full time education I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. Having grown up in a small parochial town the lure of London to a 20 year old was huge. Despite not knowing anyone I went up 1 weekend and found a small room to rent in a shared flat. For a while it was absolutely fantastic but being on my own at a time when social media meant a 20 pence coin and a BT phone box it felt increasingly lonely. A couple of minutes down the road was a place looking for someone to work part-time. Seemed like a good idea so thats what I did.
I noticed this woman about the same age (she was actually a year younger almost to the day) and though “Hmmmm she’s kinda cute!” (Cute??? !!!!!!!)As time went on I noticed that my feelings towards her were completely different to anything that I’d ever experienced. Before it had always been she “looks nice” lets go out. With her, yes, she was beautiful, intelligent but it was just so, so much more… I just hugely liked being around her. I was absolultely smitten, head over heals, howl at the moon in love. She was the one. It didn’t take long for it to became completely obvious to everyone else as well.
Its hard to put into words what happened next. The vast majority of people working for this company came from the local area, lots of them went to school together, they’d known each other and families forever. I admit I wasn’t particularly liked. I remember one person telling me I was different because “I talked all posh”. Everyone closed ranks and I got thrown to the wolves. From her point of view here was this unliked bloke who’d come out of nowhere had bowled her over in a Tsunami of unwanted emotion. Nothing was never going to happen. One minute she’d be snarling at me next she’d flutter her eyes throw me a rope and watch in amusement with everyone else as I hung myself with it. I knew what I was doing and yet I just couldn’t stop. I was there alone I didn’t have any friends to sit me down and beat ten bales of crap out of me till I saw sense. Admittedly a couple of people did take me to one side for a quiet word completley independently of what was happening as it was so horrible. There was obviously a lot more that went on but that gives a sense of it.
After about 6 months I knew that things were coming to an end… and then they did like a guillotine, a light switch was flicked and it was over. I spoke to her and she looked at me with complete contempt and said “Go away, leave me alone”, “… but I’m never going to see you again” and she just walked away. I was totally and utterly, utterly destroyed. I went back to this small room I was renting, after a few days I just had to get out. The landlord said I had to give a months notice so I paid up and left that afternoon.
Went home and slept in my own room spoke to friends went out everything slowly returned to normal again. Doorbell rang opened the door Sophie, a very good friend (who I still know) was there “So, you’ve finally come back then……” she leans on the doorframe “Wanna girlfriend?” I nearly burst into tears. The odd thing is that after having been in London I couldn’t stay in my home town, it just felt too narrow minded & small town. I left for good about 3 months later.
Fast forward a very large number of years to last night. It was too hot to sleep I was looking at the bedside clock, 03:12. She popped into my mind to remind me how long ago it was, how young I was then and how old I am now, what a complete !!!! I was and that maybe just maybe if things had been different who knows what might have happened and that was completely down to me, that it was me that screwed it up.
I desperately want to be over her, I know that I’ll never see her again and I genuinely don’t want to see her… how horribly creepy would that be? I have no reason to believe that she isn’t now happily married, with grown children yet even now when I think back to her ice blue eyes, a smile that lit up her entire face and the way she said “init” it still makes my chest tighten and my mouth go dry. Deep deep down inside there is a wound that even after all these years just won’t heal
Am Sad.
Poor effort. See me.0 -
Wait...what happened with this Sophie girl?0
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Nobody writes like that in real life, only those writing fiction.
School holidays... yawn...2024 wins: *must start comping again!*0 -
gabriel1980 wrote: »Wait...what happened with this Sophie girl?
I'm just confused why that bit was mentioned at all.
The OP's other posts seem normal but this one is odd.0 -
I don't get it. You had a crush on someone one time, you were a bit of a !!!!, the end?0
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Sounds like something out of a Mills and Boon book.0
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