Adventures of the Boy & Me..

Chandelier.

Morning.

I hate to say it but my mood has dipped very low. I don't know why but it has. I'm at work today and I don't really want to be there but I know I have to go. I need the money. Ultimately I know this will pass, it's just hard to see past that point at the moment.

There's nothing much going on for me at the moment. Some things are up in the air.

The boy can no longer play football for who he's been playing with. Long story short he has to step up two teams but he has other commitments the day the other teams play. It's all been a farce I'm my opinion. We'd bought the kit not so long ago. If they'd told us all this at the time we wouldn't have bothered. The boy was in tears that he can't play no more. I'm going to look into another football scheme here and see if that suits him better. All I wanted for him was the social aspect of it. I wasn't bothered about the matches. Anyhow I'll look into this at some other point. We can concentrate on other hobbies instead.

That's pretty much it from me. I've nothing else left to say.

Have a good day everyone.

Chandelier.

Morning.

The low mood continues. I was suppose to be meeting a friend today but I have a feeling it's cancelled as he said he wasn't feeling too well. To be honest I'm glad in some ways because I'm not feeling 100% myself. I tried calling my care team yesterday and haven't heard back. This isn't the first time it's happened.

So I don't really have much planned for today. I do have a couple of things I need to do so I'll get a headstart with that once I've dropped the boy off at school.

Things to do:
- Phone up tax credits.
- Phone up about after school club for next term.
- Phone up about sports holiday camp for boy this summer.
- Order two together railcard.
- Sort out my budget/money left over for the month.

Apart from that there isn't much else to say.

Have a good day everyone.

System

Sorry to hear that Chandelier , I hope you get your list done and then have time to work out why you feel like you do. You have been galloping along recently.

Chandelier.

Morning. .

Thanks Cumbria. I did get my to do list done in the end apart from ordering a two together railcard. I will do that at some point today as me and my mum are going to London next month. So it will save us some money.

My mood is still low and I'm rather anxious/agitated. I've been prescribed some meds to take if I'm feeling really bad but I'll try not to take them. I know they can become addictive. I'm 100% sure one of my friends is addicted to them. I don't want that.

I'm just plodding along at the moment and my motivation is zero. I can't think of any reason why I'm like this. Maybe it's because I've a busy few days coming up at the beginning of next week and quite a few appointments to attend which I don't want to but need to. Who knows.

There's nothing much mse wise going on at the moment. I've not been spending anything.

The boy went to football yesterday. The other day I thought he'd have to quit but I spoke to the guy and we agreed that he could still train with his current team, just not be able to participate in matches due to his age. It's all down to year groups at school and he's the year above everyone else even though he isn't 7 till August. At least that's sorted for now.

It's the last day of school for the boy today. We've started writing a list of things we'd like to do over the summer hols. We need a few more ideas.

Anyhow that's it for now.

Have a nice Friday everyone.

jvr

Hi Chandelier


I often get those periods of 'down' not depressed just no motivation and nothing seems to get me to lift up. I have begun to think its just a natural part of me to go up and down. Someone who has similar swings always said to me that neither good times or bad times last forever... could be depressing thought haha but when I am in a low place it helps to remind me that it won't last forever and that's just where I am at that moment.

SpekySquarehead

Hey you, hope you're feeling a bit brighter today.

I found having a routine helped me. So going to the gym regularly, having a meal plan for the full week and going 1 big shop for it at the start of the week and just generally knowing what I am doing and when. It gives structure and confidence in myself that I'm not just squandering the days away.

I've also started to use my calendar in my phone to map out my days, So if I've got a night with the boys or drinks with work or a dentist appointment, I fire it in my calendar (takes 10 seconds) and that way I have again piece of mind and I know where my spare time is. Might be worth adding in The Boys plans too so that again, you know when your free time is.

Chandelier.

Thanks jvr.. I do have down days but this is something different. I can't seem to drag myself out of it as I usually would try to. I'd rather be manic/high then this. I know ultimately it will pass.

And thanks Speky. It's hard to get a routine here with everything going on. My shifts are here, there and everywhere. It's not anyone's fault it's just the way it's working at the moment. The manager is being brilliant and giving me shifts when she doesn't have to. I do use my calendar for most things but then I feel as if I don't believe myself and check it 100 times. I'm doubting myself on everything and checking it numerous times, the ocd and anxiety is rearing its ugly head.

I'm due to see my consultant on Monday so I'm going to take a list as long as my arm to discuss what's going on. Otherwise I'll forget. I tend to become rather agitated at appointment times, I've no idea why.

Anyhow work went okay yesterday. I was offered to stay on but I politely declined because I knew my mental health was more important.

This morning I've moved some money around and made an overpayment towards the MBNA card.

The debt stands as:

MBNA: £1950.00
HALIFAX: £2800.00

TOTAL: £4750.00

Oh and I've also woken to the news that I'm an auntie again. My brothers wife has had a healthy baby boy. So I'll pick up a new baby card later.

I'm working today and have a few things to do this morning/early afternoon. I start work at 4pm.

My friend has mentioned he may meet up with me for an hour before I start work.

I've just put some washing in the washing machine. I'll peg that out when it's ready. It looks like it's going to be a dry day here until late afternoon.

Anyhow I hope everyone has a great day. I'm off to make myself some coffee to give me a kick start to the day.

Chandelier.

I am so angry. My tax codes have been messed up again! I'm totally done with this. I've already phoned up and got them to sort it and now it's messed up again. What do I have to do for them to make it right? It's just another thing I don't need.

I guess I'll be spending an hour on the phone later. Not what I wanted.

jvr

Hey

That's beyond frustrating and as you say the last thing you need to happen right now.
Glad you have an appointment if you realise it's beyond a normal down it's good to go talk to your consultant.
Hope your day improves and you can do something nice for yourself

Chandelier.

Thanks jvr. I need to write a list of everything I need to say at my appointment. Hopefully something good will come of it all.

Yesterday the boy had football. We then went home and chilled out for a bit and then my friend came round to see me, so we had a good catch up. I then had work from 4pm till midnight and it was very manic and stressful.

I'm at work again today but only for a five hour shift. I'll try my best to keep things together. I need to check my wage slip online.

I'll be taking the boy ice skating again this morning. His Nanny shall be coming along with me. She's offered to pay one of his lessons each week which would be a great help.

Tomorrow I shall phone the tax office and sort out my tax code once again. It's silly and I'm going round in circles with it.

There's nothing much else to report on really. My mood is still low but I'm trying my utmost hardest to be positive. It's hard though when you feel like you've a black cloud hanging over your hear. My CPN is back tomorrow from leave so I can have a word with her.

I've a busy week ahead with several different appointments and I know this will add extra stress and pressure. I just need to handle it better. I need to learn skills to cope with these sort of situations.

Happy Sunday everyone.